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Show rug?' byrom William ' $rW JHyEABS ago l twe ;iwJKjpHI to hang around B IBJbhbWB u0 c0l,llc" cnaa" b JJ iJpIpMb bors o( clvlc bo' H MJBI les and report Ue BJ fl5L TjflpfPi these august gen- 'HJ OVjr MM, In tlemen. The met- B O0A WwCfc to "God Ulcsa Oar B i aLM&im Home," did Hot al- B 03pw3wpjjj3 vvuys haDg B kSvLaH nono Bve the ad BI VjHV (jy m6nltlon that "It B brethren to dwell .Bfl A j0St lu nn'ty" er words Bl mvBP5( i nl Uut '" 10080 daya, BVj KggTjul controversy meaat B ijsSjnl philosophical ob- " h tti scrvatlonB npoa B W. tho conduct of al- HI W dcrincn. Bfl "j In after years, B 0 I lacking1 ox cite- Bl 1 mcnt, I started, a BB jfl dally newspaper Hi and satiated my- Bfl ' self with the ac- BB tlvo life. Being satiated ' and still HI unlmprlsoncd, I came to Chicago to Bfl tost my wings upon a sea of aaaoke. Bfl They boro mo up, but tho smoke IB hurt my eyes. Then I conceived the Bl heaven-sent idea that to live la the Bfl country and work In tho city should Bfl counterbalance both tho love of th 'B country and the enchantment of the Bfl city. I built a home with a lake em BB ono sldo' whero tho waters lapped, B and a meadow on tho other where BB the mcndowlarks lilted and sang their BB Bongs ot Joy. Tho other two sides I BJ cft to tho hills and the woods and flB the sky above was pure, and clear. And now Into this Eden has crept tho serpent The vlllago wants some BB actlvo headlight to do its Job of may- flB orlng. Wo nro exceedingly short of IB mayoralty timber out in our town. Bfl So Bhort that a largo delegation of cit- IB Izcns nro camping on my doorat9 IB and demanding ,ln burning word, flj puncutatcd with red flro, that I take H up tho toga vlrlllB in Its most gilded form and glvo a llttlo exhibition of "Sldowalks as I Would Fix 'Em," r BB "How to Heal a Holo In the Street" , , IB Go away, hoi pollol, and let. bm atone! I want' to write poetry aad Hi stories, weed in my sweet-peas mm4 teach' a bull Aog how to be haspy though bob-tailed I IB Go away! Leave me, while my wife still has some little glimmer of re- 'BB spect for mo! Leavo me, while I mj , buy a new suit of clothes or a new1 hat without Bomeone winking at my baek and shaping their mouths to sy. -ffl "GRAFT." Bfl Ieave mo calm and serene, a bob-cntty bob-cntty whom nobody worries nbout, a pcnceablo citizen who writes his wife 'H a new dress once in a while and Bwapa Bfl yarns for Bugar and meat! Leavo mo behind tho lawn mower and the - grass shears, content In the simple llfo. Go away! flH Dut they do not go away! They clamor nrounO my cigars and eat say apples nnd teach my bull dog pellti-clans' pellti-clans' tricks. They tell mo I am the mau of the hour when I do not wart to be the man of tho hour. I want to BfJ live thero always, live there with their respect and their love. flB Darn 'em! Thoy swt me a coay of David Harum's "LesBons In Cea-tcntmont'' Cea-tcntmont'' with pencil marks around the' chapter that tells how every ana, gave up an overcoat or c new lacuba-tor lacuba-tor to help pay tho taxos and make the community life better. BfJ "That," said they, "is tho spirit that should actuate you in acceptlag BflJ this call. You owo this to tho com- munlty, etc." -HJ And when I Bald I'd niako tho race. they went out and nominated a rival candldnto and now thoy nro slttbts back on tho drygoods boxes and the .H applebarrels and slclng us! Go away! flflfl 'P "Time Files!" Ifl Tlmo flics; It'a ever on the wing. flB Fow men know how to use It. flHfl Thoy cun't nnd time for anythlntf; HH All tliey can do. la lose It. IJJ I'lilliulelphlu Lodfior. flH Oil. I don't know! Tbrre'a atlll a rUn BHJ That nnd tliertTa aoinctlilng to Itl BB Hocause ot mlatloetla they havo 'done, flflfl All tliey can do la da 111 BH 0 BB By the Way. HH It isn't always easy to marry tho BH right girl for her monoy. flH A A 6 ,1JH It Is bettor to bo a lonely bachelor flB than a henpecked husband. v BB it ir ii IB Somehow an employer never seems HH to want a man who la out of a Job, flH it it BH Tho greatest troublo about tho hall B of fame is that no two peoplo can agree on whoso name shall be writtea there. BB ft ix r The man who makes the best ot tbe IJH worst ot It will bo as happy an a clam when ho makes tho best ot tbe BBJ best BBJ BHJ Don't Put It There. BB Husband of Three Months Do yon HH bollove a wife Is Justlllcd, In laklag fH monoy from hor husbanda pockotaT Husband of Experience Corlalnlyr BflJ If ho Is that careless. Baltimore American, HBJ . :,, . Hlntjor tho Home. It a bfiBln'ofwater Ivplacoil over. night In e. room here 'people ' havo btfea Hflfl HinolilUK. tba uauul siiicll;flf ntuio tobao HH will ba gone In the 'morning. flflB -UYIION WILLIAMS , flJB -fiHflH |