| Show kathleen norris N orris says silence hasa has a power greater than words dell syndicate syndicat service Berv lc i ok LIN at W 11 J j A 0 I 1 A 1 0 1 0 d a 0 1 v 0 0 0 pa it q 4 A 0 4 0 9 0 A y I 1 was carts carls secretary and had loved him front from the moment I 1 entered has em employ I 1 I 1 consider hint him the most wonderful man in the world our marriage ma made ae IT his is mother very angry by KATHLEEN NORRIS ERE lc is a letter from a HERE wife nineteen years old who finds herself among the many many women whose lives are arb complicated by the existence of a mother in law sometimes I 1 think there ought to be a school for mothers in law this one at any rate seems bound to disorganize and make trouble for the very persons she ought most to help and love my husband is fourteen years older than I 1 am writes betsey from buffalo his first wife left him when carter junior and jim the sons were five and three immediately imme di after the divorce she married a man with whom she was in love later divorcing him A year ago she was killed in a motor accident 1 I was carts secretary had loved him from the moment I 1 entered his and consider him the most wonderful man in the world we were quietly married without announcing noun cing our plans which made his mother very angry the two boys boya have been living with her but she finds their care too much for her and cannot afford anything but part time help in kitchen and nursery so she wants and I 1 think my husband wants to combine forces save on rent and share the responsibility of the children they have never meant very much to my cart he does not understand them and his mother Is alternately given to spoiling them or punishing them without reason faces a problem now I 1 feel and my mother and sisters feel that to do this might be to wreck our chances of married happiness forever I 1 am too young to hold my own with anyone as forceful as mrs brown I 1 would be i a doormat doorman in the family with er feet on me it if I 1 disciplined the boys or asked cart to take sides there would be bitterness and trouble 1 I cannot tell you how bow disagreeable this old woman Is she delights in making trouble she will hint that I 1 went into business just to get a husband she will say to the boys ashes not your mama even if papa wants you to call her ma ma she expects cart to kiss her first when he comes in she picks pick sup up everything I 1 say and makes fun of it cart listens to me of course but he only smiles when I 1 complain of her and says his mother mean any harm and I 1 take her too seriously otherwise many things about her are fine she is a good housekeeper wants ants to do more than her share of the work and in any real trouble s she he can be very kind she had not spoken to me after my marriage when my father died but she came to mothers house a few days after the funeral and brought us a roast chicken and some pres preserves erves she will do things like thau thai the right tiling thing to do also cart says we could save money for a home if we lived at his mothers for a few years and he wants to buy a country place and raise mushrooms ms and squabs squats and all that sort of thing but I 1 do not truly think I 1 am equal today to day by day living with someone who at acts me like a piece of sandpaper paper where I 1 differ with you betsey I 1 think you ARE equal to it and I 1 believe it Is the right thing for you to do if you dont do it things will straggle along in tills this uncomfortable way with no plan and no system behind them you and cart C a rt will live your isolated life taking no responsibility for what really Is primarily his job the raising of his sons he will feel aggrieved and troubled and his mother will resent his attitude you are only 19 and long happy years are ahead of you take the next few as a sort of novitiate in which you learn to live go into this other womans comans house with one great rule in your heart silence A sweet silent girl helpful where she can be helpful contentedly reading or thinking when she Is not needed not entering into quarrels not criticizing good natured with her small step edns sons taking the older womans comans direction in everything is in an impregnable position this Is what in religious books Is called a counsel of perfection it would be impossible for an older woman to follow it common sense and justice are both against it A dozen times a day you will want to burst out with that what you said this morning that fairl play it like a garne game but you are young enough to school yourself to complete silence except when everyday pleasant conversation Is concerned you are young enough to play it like a game enjoying the confusion of the others when you give them complete right of way talk to cart all you like of course take the boys on expeditions to the five and ten and movies for children and gradually come to be to them the friend and confidante who never tells tales dr punishes or disciplines and ana gradually you will see a miracle happening in the brown household and feel it in your own heart yur husband will double the love and gratitude he feels for you your small sons wll will reward denvard you witt with in 0 o entire devotion but best of all the unreasonable mother in law will begin to turn to you I 1 have punished that child betsey will you see what you can do tc manage this or that you win have conquered hard circumstances b heroic calf condol and by wifely alve |
