Show kathleen norris says upon taking things as they arc dell syndicate service Q V 11 he Is thoroughly alienated by years of being just a bill abing aying boarder in his own house she f ands tha the neat selfish little s it te has built up is a house of cards and that she is being forced to join the ranks 01 the divorced by KATHLEEN NORRIS a woman writes WY WHEN m me e that after so many years L ars of marriage three or ton ten or fifteen she and her husband have made the dismal discovery that they have absolutely nothing in common that they are beginning to jar terribly on each others nerves that without wishing each other any ill they can no longer live together in anything but continual repression discomfort and utter futility then I 1 know that she or he or bot both 1 l of them are exhibiting a lack S of character and common sense it is quite different when serious matters are influencing either one intemperance cruelty infidelity may bo be valid grounds for the breaking up of homes and the separation of children although in the last mentioned case I 1 have always thought divorce too high a price to pay tor for tem temporary po weakness and vanity but when it is just a general lessening of affection glamour corn com mutual satisfaction 1 in n being together it means that one oile or the other hair let go has stopped the pleasantness that Is friendship in marriage the eagerness to discuss plans the readiness to tor for give trifling mistakes the old honey oon con anxiety to bo be generous and considerate and loving once these are lost they are hard to recapture it can be done clone but the wiser way Is never to lost them husbands position parallels childs that a husband Is in much the childs position Is a simple truth that many wives fall fail to grasp coldness sharpness of voice scolding indifference putting the feelings or the comfort of other persons first her family her old friends herself begins the trouble then when his affections wander and when sho she suddenly senses that she no longer comes first with him it avails her very little to reproach him t to 0 ask asic pathetically homshe how ahe has failed him she has kept his house and borne his child and never bocen enfa unfaithful withful and given him the best years of her life she protests what more did he expect but if he Is thoroughly alienated by years of being just a bill paying boarder in his own house with a wife whose interests run entirely to her 0 own n beauty bridge lunches matinees mati nees with the girls friends he does not know or does not like ll 11 she he finds as thousands of women fi find nd every year that the neat selfish little scheme she has built up is a house of cards and that she is being forced to join the ranks of the divorced dislike divorce most women hate the idea of divorce they suffer bitterly with loneliness once marriage is dissolved and they suffer more when they realize that a second marriage means life with another man just as faulty as the first and the fearful problem of the childrens loyalties and their happiness thrown in the moral of which is that it would pay pay many a woman to check up on her marriage now it would pay her to determine that life was going to be lived at least half the time on Ue georges orges terms that the weary man of the house was going to be in for a little spoiling that what he says at dinner tonight is going to have an attentive and interested answer that his views upon low eed hoit household and a HAlIW SS IN MARRIAGE take marriage seriously kati kathleen morris urges married rn arrie T couples she advises them chent not to presume upon tie lite affection of lite their r mates for their oten selfish ends because this atvill gradually destroy the mutual it bonds that hold them together liss norris morris adds that it would pay many a to check up tit on her tri marriage arriage now before she unconsciously ly alienates her husband and destroys both their lives slightly stricter rule for the son and heir are going to be respected in some families a man and a woman have reached the point when whatever is suggested by tho the one is violently antagonistic to the other it never occurs to either to give way the effect of this upon children is incalculably bad wants first husband back 1 I have been terribly unfortunate in my marriages writes an iowa woman my first was at 17 my oldest girl being born before I 1 was 18 her father was very young and irresponsible as everyone else but myself seemed to know and we were acro immediately divorced two years later I 1 married a very tine fine fellow but five years afterward he had the misfortune to be injured in the head and was placed in an institution having then two little girls to provide tor for I 1 married for a home a silly mistake but I 1 was desperate A son was born of this marriage but owing to actual injuries inflicted indicted on me by a jealous unreasonable husband he hd was unable to develop like other children and Is a semi invalid to this day divorced two years later I 1 made a comfortable home tor for myself and my children but was obliged to sue for my late husbands estate for or their support when my son was five years old it was then I 1 met my first farst husband who had gone away from our town put himself through medical school by his own efforts and obtained a really fine aln position my youthful folly in insisting on a divorce cost me v very cry dear for the old attraction is still strong in us both and cal has a wife a and nd two little sons what I 1 am arl writing ting to ask you Is whether I 1 still have any claim on him as in some states our divorce would not be considered legal if he were tree free I 1 belleve believe I 1 could win him back and she sends me a sheaf of documents to prove that her marriage while she was not of age and his letters protesting against the divorce and other complicated details constitute illegality the pit pity y of itt at 32 burdened with an invalid child and two daughters she would step back into cals life to destroy it ruin the happiness of his wife and sons and once more complicate her own existence this time beyond all hope of recovery patience mutual needed seventeen is too young for mar ariage but many a marriage begun in the teens has proved a success nevertheless and obviously this one might have been patience and mutual confidence and a little help from the grownups would have carried cal and sally safely through infinite mischief and suffering would have been averted and possibly a houseful of 0 fine children would have held both man and wife in safety As it Is im not nd advising sally for one thing slie she pay the slightest attention to advice she must follow her willful and mischievous path to the end but I 1 do ask other wives to look before they leap to the divorce courts see what you can do with the material in hand before you involve yourself in even more complicated troubles |