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Show Page 10 The Ogden Valley News Volume XXX Issue III April 15, 2023 By Forrest Brown Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, in his book 12 Rules for Life, which sold more than five million copies, helped droves of readers improve on the chaos and difficulties that beset their personal lives. In this sequel, Peterson provides twelve more lifesaving principles to guide us along the perilous path of modern-day living. He offers strategies for overcoming the cultural and psychological forces that cause us to move toward disorder and teaches the reader how to rely instead on their own inner purpose in order to survive and thrive. Join me as we investigate this fascinating literary work. Many times, as readers, we skip the foreword of a book in order to get to the meat of the manuscript. However, in this case it is worth mentioning because it gives an overview of how deathly sick that Mr. Jordan was just a few years ago. It also gives us some of the primary reasons of why he wrote twelve additional rules. Basically, he says that Beyond Order explores, as its overarching theme, how the dangers of too much security and control is dangerous and should be avoided as much as possible. The first principle, or rule, is “Do not carelessly denigrate social institutions or creative achievement.” Essentially, Dr. Peterson says that social institutions are necessary because unlike every other creature on earth, humans need social interactions for increased well-being. Without these interactions, we typically become lonely and confused and our mental health suffers. The author provides a prime example of this with one of his clients who lived by himself. He writes: “He was isolated in many other ways in addition to his living situation. He had extremely limited family ties. Both of his daughters had moved out of the county, and did not maintain much contact, and he had no other relatives except a father and sister from whom he was estranged. His wife and the mother of his children had passed away years ago, and the sole relationship he endeavored to establish while he saw me over the course of more than a decade and a half terminated tragically when his new partner was killed in an automobile accident. When we began to work together, our conversations were decidedly awkward. He was not accustomed to the subtleties of social interaction, so his behaviors, verbal and nonverbal, lacked the dance-like rhythm and harmony that characterize the social fluent. As a child, he had been thoroughly ignored as well as actively discouraged by both parents.... These experiences left my client with a proclivity toward depression.... He was abrupt, irritable, and somewhat volatile if he felt misunderstood.... I soon noticed, however, that things worked out quite well during our sessions if I kept mostly quiet. He would drop in, weekly or bi-weekly, and talk about what had befallen and preoccupied him during the previous seven to fourteen days.... This pattern continued for more than a decade, as I learned, increasingly, to hold my tongue. As the Beyond Order: A Book Review years passed, however, I noticed that the proportion of time he spent discussing negative issues with me decreased.... As he became more social, he began to generate more solutions....” Rule Two is, “Imagine who you could be, and then aim single-mindedly at that.” In other words, who are you and who could you be? Jordan Peterson says that we are complex beings, and we are more complex beyond our own understanding. We are not just who we appear to be in our current time and situation, but we are who we can potentially become in the future. Many of us, nevertheless, let things like poor health, misfortune, and tragedies get in the way of who we can really become. Do we really know ourselves? Peterson says that, with the average person, there is much that our minds and bodies are capable of doing, but most of us remain inactive and dormant without releasing the potential within each of us. Most of us have an inner inquisitiveness where we seek out what is new, we investigate, and adapt to it and we sometimes make it part of our own lives but, in most cases, we do not continually strive for the ultimate of what we could be. The next principle or Rule Three is, “Do not hide unwanted things in the fog.” This one seems a little confusing until Mr. Peterson discusses it in detail. To understand this concept, it is best to just reprint the example that he gives in his book. He states: “I love my father-in-law. I respect him, too. He is extremely stable emotionally—one of those tough or fortunate people who can let the trials and tribulations of life roll off him and keep moving forward with little complaint and plenty of competence. He is an old guy now, Dell Roberts—eightyeight. He has had a knee replaced and is planning to get the remaining one done. He has had stents inserted into his coronary arteries and a heart valve replaced. He suffers from drop foot and sometimes slips and falls because of it. But he was still curling a year ago, pushing the heavy granite rock down the ice with a stick.... When his wife, Beth, now deceased, developed dementia at a relatively young age, he took care of her in as uncomplaining and unresentful a manner as anyone could imagine. It was impressive. I am by no means convinced that I could have fared as well. He cared for her right to the point where it became impossible for him to lift.... When Dell was a much younger man he habitually went home for lunch and Beth typically prepared him soup and a sandwich. One day, without warning, he snapped at his wife, ‘Why in the world do we always eat off these tiny plates?’” Jordan Peterson writes that his father-in-law pretended to his wife for over twenty years that he was happy with life but, inside, he was letting this small nuisance build up over time until it exploded into a rage. This is a great example of the unwanted things that we suppress in the fog until we cannot contain it anymore. We think that when small things about other people bother us its just not worth the fight, but Dr. Peterson believes otherwise. He says it is better to raise the issue, unpleasant as it might be in the moment. If we address these small issues when they come up, then it is one less straw on the camel’s back. According to Peterson, the fog represents the confusion in our lives when we cannot see clearly because the fog hides the emotions that we do not want to share because it hurts too much. The blindness of the fog can leave a void of confusion and bewilderment in our lives. The next rule, number four, integrates both opportunity and responsibility. This rule states: Notice that opportunity lurks where responsibility has been abdicated. Whether with our families, neighbors, co-workers, or other people in general, we sometimes encounter people who are narcissistic, incompetent, malevolent, or tyrannical. At home, in the workplace, and in our society, many people let things go undone. Jordan Peterson explains that if you want to become invaluable in any situation, then just do the things that no one else is doing. Arrive early and leave later than others. Organize what needs to be put in order and work when no one is watching. Doing these things can lead to happiness and brand you an invaluable asset because opportunities come to those who are accountable and trustworthy. A good illustration of this is offered by Dr. Peterson is the biblical story of Abraham. In Genesis chapter twelve, God calls Abraham to leave the house of his father “to the land I will show you.” The Lord further tells Abraham that “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all people on earth will be blessed through you.” Abraham is given a great responsibility from God because he was a responsible person. He was also blessed with future rewards due to his acceptance of his divine mission. Rule Five is quite interesting. It states: “Do not do what you hate.” As Shakespeare wrote in his play Hamlet, “To thine own self be true.” Dr. Peterson explains that our world today seems to be focused too much on such things as diversity, equity, and inclusivity. Even though the author believes these things are important, he says we devote too much human effort on them rather than expressing our true and honest feelings about such topics. Mr. Peterson explains this rule with an example from one of his clients. He writes: “She was an immigrant from a former Soviet bloc country and had experienced more than a sufficient taste of authoritarian ideology. In consequence, her inability to determine how she might object to what was happening left her feeling both weak and complicit. Furthermore, no sensible person could possibly remain motivated to put forth effort anywhere such as her workplace had become, where absurdities or a conceptual sort were not only continually occurring but encouraged on; even worse, required... My client did not feel sufficiently confident in her position or in the ability of her managers to engage in a genuine conversation with them about her objections (and) she wished very much to escape the situation.” Dr. Peterson highlights that when we do not feel safe in our environment, we either engage in fight or flight and neither of these two paths lead us to the state that we desire. We are not true to ourselves if we continually do what we really do not want to do. We are enslaved according to Dr. Peterson and may be afraid to act, but that is exactly what we need and must do. The sixth rule in “Beyond Order” is simply “Abandon Ideology.” The word ideology deals with our thoughts, our beliefs, and our philosophy. Dr. Peterson drills down even deeper saying it can even relate to our thoughts and feelings about the economy, the nation, the environment, the people, the rich, the poor, our leaders, our community, and our families. Much of social media, movies, newspapers, books, and even curriculum, deals with trying to influence us towards a specific ideology. He suggests we forsake most of the current ideology because it tends to tear down instead of buildup society. Some examples he writes about include perceptions about the rich always suppressing the poor, that Christians and Jews are behind a great deal of the evil in the world, that environmentalist are always wrong, and that political parties are all about power and not caring for their constitutes. Although some of these movements do at times pull societies apart, Dr. Peterson notes that none of them are absolutely bad or absolutely good. He says we must search out the good and bad of any and all ideologies and philosophies that we are presented with throughout our mortal lives. The other six rules include: Seven, “Work as hard as you possibly can on at least one thing and see what happens.” Eight, “Try to make one room in your home as beautiful as possible.” Nine, “If old memories still upset you, write them down carefully and completely.” Ten, “Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationship.” Eleven, “Do not allow yourself to become resentful, deceitful, or arrogant.” And Twelve, “Be grateful in spite of your suffering.” Peterson goes into as much detail in the last six rules as he does in the first six rules and each one is worth reading and pondering. Megumi Italiano made this Totoro snowman igloo for her grandson Oliver. |