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Show Vie WS el 0 Pi n Wednesday, April 21, 2010 Page 12 111 Utah State University • Logan, Utah • www.aggietownsquare.com O urVi ew Aboutik Editor in Chief Patrick Oden Avatar Day News Editor Rachel A. Christensen T hursday is Earth Day, the annual red-headed stepchild of holidays. Everyone will still be in work and school, no special events will take place other than maybe a few environmental enthusiasts trying pressure and guilt everyone else into doing some kind of small and probably irrelevant act to make the Earth a better place. The day will go by, and probably a vast majority of people will never know or care it was Earth Day to begin with. This Earth Day is different though. This Earth Day, the No. 1 highest-grossing movie of all time will be released on DVD, probably to the excitement of nobody. James Cameron's "Avatar" somehow shattered the box-office records held by Cameron's 1997 "Titanic" en route to raking in more than $2.7 billion in box-office revenue. While the visual effects in "Avatar" were undeniably impressive, the story was unoriginal, the characters were unrelateable and, to top things off, the primary antagonists of the film were humans. It was a movie about how greedy and insensitive human beings can be, taking place in a futuristic setting on a planet that was not the Earth. So why is "Avatar" being hyped as an Earth Day release? Standard procedure for music, video games and DVD releases is for stores to begin selling the new release on a Tuesday, not a Thursday. So why is it that a movie, which does not take place on Earth and has Earth's most prominent species as the film's antagonists, is being released on Earth Day? It simply does not make sense and, if anything, insulting to humanity as a whole. It's bad enough that "Avatar" holds the record it does and that we'll probably have to hear about that record until is broken. Maybe if we're lucky, the next Batman movie can creep up to the top spot, but I doubt anybody is banking on that as a legitimate possibility. Plainly stated, we're all embarrassed that "Avatar" has earned the accolades that it has. We didn't need "Avatar" rubbed in our faces on Earth Day, but sadly that is what is happening. To that, we say, Shame on you James Cameron for giving a sour taste to what was previously a tasteless holiday. Assistant News Editor Catherine Meidell Features Editor Courtnie Packer Assistant Features Editor Benjamin Wood Sports Editor Connor Jones Assistant Sports Editor Matt Sonnenberg 45.11:1^ Ask Miss Jones Dear Miss Jones, I'm Asian. I have been living in Logan for awhile and started dating this girl, a Mormon girl, to be precise, but that's not the problem. I'm graduating this semester and I decided that I need to fly home to be with my family for awhile. She isn't exactly the pushy type of Mormon type, so dating outside her faith is cool. If I didn't enjoy being with her, I would have totally packed my bags and just ditched her that's my style - except, I really enjoy being with her. She's really laid back and her ideals are aligned with mine. We have been dating for almost two years now but have no plans to get hitched like a lot of couples here dating for that long. I'm going to be gone for awhile, and her moving there with me now isn't an option. Plus, even if it was an option it's still moving half way across the Earth and it's rare for that to work out. I want to be with her but every thing is working against us. Of course when I leave I'm sure boys from her high school are starting to come back from their missions hungry and horny. I want it to work out for us but I don't want to leave her hanging for years when this is the time she should be out having the time of her life. Every time we talk about it, she takes the side of "everything will be OK." I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but it's hard not to be realistic. Dear Leaving on a Jet Plane, Nihao (hello)! You write wonderfully in English. I'm quite impressed. Let me just say I do not envy you ... not one bit, except for your inherited math and science skills. Who wouldn't want those? Let me share a story with you that could help your situation. I'm sure I mentioned it in past issues but I was in Europe during WWII. I met many manly men there but none as manly and heart-melting as Akiko. G o ye therefore, and teach all nations ... Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you." So speaks God Almighty in the Book of Matthew. Because of this passage, many Christians, including the Mormons, feel that it is their obligation to promote their beliefs to whomever they have the opportunity to reach, whether it's at home, work or school. Some call it missionary work, some call it proselytizing and some call it religious harassment. Lest you suppose that I am a bitter heathen, before I go on let me state the facts: I don't have a problem with others choosing to be LDS. I was born and raised LDS. I attended and graduated from seminary - and then I resigned from the church. Being repeatedly approached by missionaries is irritating because of what a miserable experience I've had with the church in general. I know more than I want to know about the Mormon religion, and I have purposefully stepped back from the scene only to be constantly approached and reproached by family, friends and now - missionaries preaching a religion that I am certain I am more informed about than they. I should be able to walk through my school (which, along with public and government funding, I paid for) " Mark Vuong 1- CAP.C-CO RrrokS.a,- Leaving on a Jet Plane. Men on a mission Copy Editor Akiko was a 4-foot-eight-inch lion of a man, and while he could barely grow facial hair, he had a mane of beautiful soft chest hair pluming from under his child-size V-neck Tshirt. Akiko was from a small fishing island off the coast of Japan and hitchhiked across China and the Gobi Desert before winding up in Venice, Italy. It was my first and only time in the City of Bridges. I've had the opportunity to return but can't face the tidel wave of memories I know will return. I was there working, giving the troops that boost of energy they needed on their way to fight the Desert Fox, Erwin Rommel, or on their way back to the fight in Europe. When I first saw Akiko I was struck dumb like Zechariah was in the book of Luke. All I could do was stare, his beautiful slanted eyes, his baby soft skin and beautifully manicured hands. I was in love. I followed him over canals, through alleys and across bridges. The more I stared, the more I fell in love. I followed him for two days, finally talking to him only when he confronted me. I've never been one to hide my feelings so I told him, "Little man, I love you. I love your perfect fingernails, the way you chew, the deep color of your eyes and the way your chest hair pops out of your shirt at just the right height." He gazed into my eyes like no one has ever gazed before, after 20 seconds, or what could have been 20 hours, he finally spoke, "What's your name?" I told him and he said, "Miss Jones, come wif me." He grabbed my hand and we rushed from alley to alley, until finally we appeared on the bank of the Grand Canal. He pulled me into a gondola and took hold of the oar. we snaked through the other gondoliers. He cut through them with the skill and precision of a surgeon. We pulled into a small canal, only wide enough for the most skilled gondoliers to navigate. It opened into a beautiful courtyard hidden by windowless buildings. There and not be badgered into conversation with an overeager pair of who I believe are kind, but regrettably ignorant, private religious promulgators - and three times this week I was stopped in the same place on campus by Mormon missionaries. I am all for religious freedom - hell, my own brother is on his mission - but when it repeatedly crosses over into my life when I've made it clear that I'm not interested, it has reached a level of harassment. I often relate missionary work to door-to-door sales pitches; even if there is a "No Trespassing" or "No Soliciting" sign on the door, both teams go ahead and knock, making it clear that propagating their agenda is more important than the privacy of disinterested people. The only reason these types of businesses (and Mormon church is a business) succeed is because even though the majority of the audience they solicit is not interested, if enough people are alerted about a product, it requires only the smallest percentage to keep a company or belief system afloat (e.g., Scientology or the National Enquirer). So, for the sake of myself and many other nonMormons who feel the same way I do, I'll be very clear: proselytizing a religion on campus is not inspiring, admirable or appropriate. It is irritating, offensive and obnoxious. The Mormon church is everywhere - if someone is interested or wants more information, finding resources is not going to be a problem. The were eight nude men and women lounging on the steps, barely covered by a thin layer of water. Akiko stripped off his clothes and dove in. He made it to the steps and greeted his friends, brother and sisters in this secret community of gondoliers. He turned back to me, his hairy body glistening with the beads of water dripping down his chest. He motioned for me to follow and I didn't hesitate. I undressed myself and jumped in. Akiko, Adolfo, Guido, Isabella, Jacopo, Leonora, Peppi, Romina, Anna and I had the greatest, most sensual experience. I got two weeks with Akiko before he disappeared. Some said he went back to his small fishing island but I don't believe it. We had a connection that only he and I could understand. I think that the Gondolier's union decided he was too big of a threat to their traditional business so they decided to get rid of him. Listen to me jetsetter, you hang onto your woman, hang onto her for as long as you can, whether that means being dipped in some holy water or knocking her out and taking her with you. You hang on to her and never let go. Every day I regret losing Akiko, don't let my mistake repeat itself with you. Good luck and remember: "With as many times as Miss Jones has been around the block, her directions must be good." E-mail your questions to be answered by Miss Jones to statesman.missjones@gmail. com or search for me on Facebook. problem, instead, i s that those who want nothing to do with the church endure a very grating experience being confronted with the very thing they are trying to avoid. All this being said, I do understand the presence of the missionaries on campus can have a very comforting effect for members of the Mormon church, so let's come to a happy medium. The LDS church already allows the fantastic opportunity of having their religious institution right here, almost on campus itself. They should take that privilege and use it appropriately, instead of using it to bother other students passing by. This way, the resource is always available for involved or curious individuals - and as for the rest of us hell-bound pagans, we are left to walk to class, undisturbed. "And thus the people began again to have peace in the land." 3 Nephi 1:23 Elizabeth Emery is a junior in English from West Jordan, Utah. Comments can be left at www.aggietownsquare. corn Photo Editors Pete Smithsuth Steve Sellers Web Editor Karlie Brand About letters • Letters should be limited to 400 words. • All letters may be shortened, edited or rejected for reasons of good taste, redundancy or volume of similar letters. • Letters must be topic oriented. They may not be directed toward individuals. Any letter directed to a specific individual may be edited or not printed. • No anonymous letters will be published. Writers must sign all letters and include a phone number or email address as well as a student identification number (none of which is published). 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