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Show Wednesday, Nov. 4, 2009 AggieLife Page 7 The battle between faith and sexuality themselves so-called gays and lesbians ... If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the church.” MoHo: Mormon homosexual. However, according to The Deseret News, MoHommie: A friend of Mormon homothe Mormon church’s stance has changed and sexuals. there has been extensive research to determine MoHo Chica: A Mormon lesbian or female whether gay people would be able to become friend to male Mormon homosexuals. straight. The Mormon church no longer There’s an entire subculture within the officially advises gay men to get married to Mormon church that caters specifically to women or that their attraction to men will go homosexuals, said Beau Rushton (name has away. The Mormon church advocates lifetime been changed upon request), a USU student, celibacy for gays and lesbians. who is a Mormon and a homosexual. There are several organizations, such as “We are literally everywhere,” Rushton Evergreen, that try to help gay Mormons said. “We’re in your singles ward, we’re passeither diminish their feelings of attraction for ing the sacrament and we’re sitting next to you other men. The group Evergreen is not offiin priesthood meetings.” cially sponsored by the Mormon church, but Rushton has always known he was gay. the two are closely affiliated and Evergreen “I tried to avoid anything that would be has church officials on its council and closely associated with being gay,” Rushton said. follows the Mormon doctrine. “I wouldn’t wear nice or colorful clothing. I Another group, known as the Matis would only talk about masculine things.” Firesides, is not officially sponsored by the Rushton went on a mission for the Mormon Mormon church, but it also follows Mormon church and thought being attracted to men teachings. It’s monthly meetings in Utah was just a phase that would disappear. County attract around 150 attendees, Rushton It didn’t. said. “Sometimes I get so frustrated with God,” North Star is an online forum where gay Rushton said. “I wonder why he has put me Mormons can interact anonymously. It’s a through this, why I have to deal with it.” Web site meant to help gay Mormons support After two years, Rushton came home one another, but it is not a dating site. North and started dating the same girl he dated in Star is where Rushton got the idea to start a high school, Jill Marychild (name has been blog recounting his struggles. changed). His blog, www.hiddeninthelight.wordpress. Despite being the best of friends and havcom, now has more than 75 followers and ing plenty in common, there was just one issue Rushton has started his own series of meetthat wouldn’t go away: ings called Logansides. Rushton was still attractThe group meets monthly, ed to men. everyone is invited and “I don’t regret being “I decided to come around 40 people reguraised Mormon. I still out to her,” Rushton said. larly attend. The gatherrespect the Mormon “But it didn’t go over well. ings are announced on It was really hard for her.” the site www.logansides. church.” Marychild felt like if – Tyler Okelberry, wordpress.com. she were skinnier or more “My struggle isn’t USU sophomore being gay,” Rushton said. attractive then Rushton wouldn’t be gay, he said. “I love being gay. It’s the “The truth was, she conflict and finding a balwas a girl that’s what I ance in life. That’s what I wasn’t attracted to,” Rushton said. struggle with.” After a relationship of five years, Rushton After Rushton realized that there are lots and Marychild broke it off. of other Mormons out there who are gay, he Rushton felt he was faced with the choice didn’t feel so alone. It can be a difficult posiof whether to keep going to church or to aban- tion to go to church and also be gay. don his faith and pursue a relationship with a “When I first realized I wasn’t the only one man. He said he didn’t feel like there was any like this, it was like a huge weight was lifted middle ground he felt like he could either “live off my shoulders,” Beau said. “I felt so good. I the gay lifestyle” or “live a lie in the church,” didn’t feel alone.” he said. “I am gay,” Rushton said. “That’s not some- Another path thing that is going to change. But I also want to stay in the church. I could never let that go.” Not all of those that are raised Mormon and The official Web site for the Mormon are gay try to live the doctrine of their church. church, www.lds.org, has this to say about Some people, like USU sophomore Tyler its stance on homosexuality, “People inquire Okelberry decide to leave their religion. about our position on those who consider There is extreme pressure in the Mormon By SETH BRACKEN features senior writer There are several organizations that try to help gay Mormons diminish their feelings of attraction for other men. The group Evergreen and Matis Firesides are not officially sponsored by the Mormon Church, but they follow Mormon teachings. PETE P SMITHSUTH photo religion to avoid all things gay, Okelberry said. Okelberry recalls one particular morning when his mother brought in the local, Idaho newspaper and threw the wedding announcements down on the table. “Read this,” his mother said. “It’ll make you sick.” Okelberry’s father read the section and saw that it was the wedding announcement of a local news-radio anchor and his gay partner. “My dad said that he was going to call the radio station and tell them he would no longer listen to the radio show because one of their DJs would chose to exhibit his homosexuality in that way,” Okelberry said. The pressure and guilt placed on gay teens can be huge and at no fault of their own, Okelberry said. It is not a choice to be gay, he said. Homophobia and misunderstanding can cause tension between gay Mormons and their families and friends. Okelberry couldn’t understand why his father would stop listening to one of his favorite talk shows simply because an employee at the radio station is gay. Okelberry didn’t tell his parents that he was gay when he was a teenager because of the dislike his parents and community displayed toward gay people. “It was as much to avoid being the topic of gossip as anything,” Okelberry said. “There’s a name to uphold, and my family is well known in that area my dad is even a Bishop. They see it as a total abomination” In high school, Okelberry was involved in Left and right brains will collide at Utah Symposium By KUNIKO POOLE staff writer Many people think of the arts, such as writing and painting, and the sciences, which include mathematics and physics, as completely removed from each other. People who have these skills are termed “left brained” or “right brained,” with no inbetweens, no quintessential “Renaissance man” category. Katherine Coles wants to change that. Coles, who is the poet laureate of Utah and a creative writing professor at the University of Utah, is the founder of the Utah Symposium in Science and Literature. “It was kind of my brainchild, just something that I wanted to do,” she said. The theme of this year’s symposium is “Mathematics, Language and Imaginations.” It is a three-day event that includes three keynote speakers. “There is always a poet or novelist, a scientist – this year it’s the mathematician Barry Mazur – and some other appropriate person that arises out of the topic,” Coles said. “The third person is the wild card, who sort of brings it all together.” The speakers are Alice Fulton, a poet and professor of English at Cornell University; Mazur, an MIT and Princeton graduate and author of the 2003 book “Imagining Numbers (particularly the square root of minus fifteen)”; and awardwinning contemporary classical composer Fred Lerdahl – the “wild card.” It can be difficult to see what these people might have in common, let alone what they can contribute to one another’s work. The answer to this is found in the theme. “Math is a language,” said Fred Adler, the symposium’s co-director. “All of our thinking is done in some language or other, whether that’s math, the ordinary language of English or music.” The official Web site of the event, www.scienceandliterature.org, concurs with Adler’s statement, putting it in more poetic terms: “Words. Images. Notes … numbers and equations. All of these are forms of language, vehicles for human thinking, expression and communication; all of them take on the shapes of our minds and shape our minds in turn.” Still, the question remains, Why bring all of these people together for a single conference? Adler gave an example of how the conference can make people see a side of life they’ve never experienced before. “It can get people who don’t do math to appreciate what mathematicians do through a more familiar angle – poetry,” Adler said. “Math is very much an art form.” By comparing these separate topics to each other, the symposium helps individuals understand and learn about new things. The purpose of this, Coles said, is to get people back to embracing all kinds of different topics, to have a wellrounded education. “The divisions between (the disciplines), like they are today, are not natural ones,” Coles said. “It’s really only in the last century that we’ve seen the kind of specialization we have now. The experts in different fields should be talking to each other all the time.” She referenced the aforementioned Renaissance period as an example of what a good education should consist of. “In those days, an educated person was educated in a number of different areas,” she said. “The bodies of knowledge have gotten to be so vast that it’s really impossible to understand physics, writing, painting fully, which I think is really unfortunate. I think it can close down creativity rather than opening it up.” In the past, the symposium has been a success, with tickets selling out quickly. “People are curious. They want to get a sense of what’s going on,” Adler said. “At this event, people who are specialists talk to you as an equal. I remain convinced that people - See COLE, page 8 extracurricular activities. He was student body president, he ran for the cross-country team and played on the volleyball team. “People used to ask me why I didn’t have a girlfriend, or they would try and set me up, but I had no attraction to women at all,” Okelberry said. Okelberry said he knew other gay Mormon teenagers and when their parents found out, the teenagers had to go through long ordeals with church leaders and others in order to change their sexuality. “All that would only make it worse for the guys,” Okelberry said. “It really messed with them.” Slowly, Okelberry stopped going to church. He decided that he was never going to change and he may as well embrace that part of him. Okelberry said despite all the homophobic things that the church has done, he has no hard feelings toward the Mormon Church. “I don’t regret being raised Mormon,” he said. “I still respect the Mormon Church.” Okelberry stopped going to church, while Rushton decided to seek support from other gay Mormons because of the misunderstandings that they face within their own religion. Many Mormons think that being gay is a choice, which it isn’t, Rushton said. They also think that all gay people are child molesters, which is preposterous, he said. Other Mormons think that gay Mormons are less - See CONFLICT, page 8 Come Work AND Play in Alaska! Now Hiring Driver-Guides for all Alaska Locations! Visit us in the Salt Lake Area November 9th-13th We will be in the Salt Lake area interviewing for the 2010 season. 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