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Show THE DAILY UTAH CHRONICLE Monday, October 16,2006 10 UTES SHOCKED BY WYOMING IN 31-15 STUNNER continued from Page 8 what we were trying to do today." Now, all of a sudden, it's the Utes looking vulnerable in the MWC title chase, while the Cowboys look like a darkhorse. Everything that could break down did just that. The offensive line that had protected its quarterback better than any other front five in the nation finally gave way, yielding six sacks to a relentless Wyoming pass rush that kept Brett Ratliff flustered all game long. Not that he and the Utes did much with the opportunities they had—on their first eight drives, they turned it over four times (two fumbles, one interception, once on downs) and punted another four times. The Wyoming pass defense, which came into the game as the No. i such unit in the entire country, was as good as advertised. "How about our defense? Relentless is the word for the way they played," Glenn said. "Utah couldn't run on us or throw on us. It was a great day of coaching by our defensive staff." The Utes were playing catch-up from the very start, as Sween led the Cowboys on three early scoring PIZZA HAS A FEW NEW RULES continued from Page S ize that neither of these activities takes any skill, the better. Hopefully the Shanes of the word recognize they fit into this category and they will soon feel obligated drives* taking a 17-0 lead on the freshman's four-yard touchdown scamper. Michael Ford, the MWC's leading receiver with 43 catches (including Saturday) helped give his club a 24-point cushion late in the first half. Despite tight coverage from Eric Weddle, Ford found just enough space to bring in a perfectly placed strike from Sween in the left corner of the end zone. "Karsten put it in a spot where I was the only one who could get it. He believed in me, and I feel that he has confidence in me to make the big plays," Ford said. "Eric Weddle is the most respected defender in the Mountain West Conference. I gave him respect, but not too much respect, and did a good job against him today." Ford finished with five receptions for 92 yards. The defense, which has been the story for the Cowboys all year, put the game all but out of reach in the opening minutes of the third quarter when Julius Stinson ran back a Ratliff interception 42 yards for a touchdown and a 31-0 lead. It was the third time that has happened to Ute quarterbacks in seven games this season. "Our coaches had a great game plan this week," Stinson said. "We had a great practice week, and hats off to everyone." Even when the Utes finally did get on the Scoreboard, it didn't come on the offensive side. Weddle, Utah's to shut their soup-coolers about how good L.T. is going to rush for them this weekSorry to bust your bubble Shanes, but you didn't do anything to help Damon Huard's 250-yard, two-touchdown game. The only reason guys like Huard are even on your team is because of Forrest Gump luck. It's not as if you actually knew he was going to play well; you just U myersittj ofJLJta h Bbck Sfudent Uniori Social Friday. OtiobvSKA, 20OS Location: Crimson V I & OpJn Ur*an butting, 20Q S. Central Campus Dnve Students wfl hspfe the opportinity to inset and (pMtwtth African American Faculty. staHj sturionls and oifer BSUs studantifromground Utah. Performances by Southern Class For more Information contact: .Sinwne Fritz 587-9569 Christine 3094343 THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Wyoming's Ward Dobbs celebrates after sacking Utah quarterback Brett Ratliff during the fourth quarter of the Cowboys' 31-15 victory over the Utes Saturday afternoon in Laramie. Ratliff, who hadn't been sacked all year before the game, was brought down six times. top playmaker on either side of the ball this season, picked up a fumble and ran it back 35 yards for a score to close the gap to 31-7. The TD was Weddle's fourth of the season—tied with wide receiver Derrek Richards for the team lead. But that was hardly enough to make up for such a hefty deficit. Richards caught a three-yard touchdown in garbage time late in the fourth quarter, as the Utes took advantage of a fumble recovery deep in Cowboy territory. Utah failed to convert an onside kick attempt moments later, and that was that. The Utes managed just 144 yards of total offense, only 33 of such on the ground as the team quickly had to take to the air to make up for a deficit that got quickly out of hand. Ratliff was i6-of-3i for in yards, while Wyoming's Wynel Seldon rushed for 64 yards on 14 carries. Much like their last loss, a 36-3 defeat to Boise State two weekends ago, the Utes will have a quick turnaround as they attempt to rebound from another disappointing loss. The team will travel to Albuquerque this week for a Thursday night tilt with the Lobos. Kickoff is set for 7 p.m. c.bellamy@ chronicle.utah.edu waited to pick up a backup quarterback until the last round, and Huard was the only guy whose name sounded obscurely cool. No. 2. This is a proposal for that guy—or gal—who feels the need to throw his or her two cents in on every one of the 3,600 seconds in a football game. These people try dissecting a game as if they were all a bunch of John Maddens sitting next to Al Michaels up in'the booth. Here's the thing with all these Madden wannabes: They make watching a football game as fun as sleeping next to someone with nasal congestion and a pinched trachea. The border between knowledgeable fan and moronic Madden wannabe is easily delineated. A knowledgeable fan's comments come once or twice a possession, and they sound something like this: "Man I hate how the Utes seem to be utilizing the draw play like they did in the Ron McBride days." Moronic Madden's comments come with machine gun frequency, and they sound more like this: "No. 78 doesn't seem to be trap blocking very well when it's third down, the moon is full and there is a gentle south-southeastern wind blowing." Moronic Madden guys deliver these ridiculous comments at such a rapid pace that watching a game while receiving a routine root canal seems like a better option. Once a person has been identified as a moronic Madden wannabe, he or she should be put on a list much like the FBI's most wanted list. This list wouldn't be used to prohibit Madden wannabes from entering stadiums or friendly footballwatching households. This list would only be a helpful tool for law enforcement to use when trying to decipher why guys keep ending up unconscious with a rolled up ball of socks in their mouths after football games. No. 3. The last proposal has less to do with sports, but it is something that frequently takes place at sporting events, especially in Utah. This is for all those people that substitute words like "fetch" or "shizz" for the realwords, and these substitutions are frequently used when someone is disappointed during a football game. First of all, nothing sounds less manly than when a guy says, "What the heck is wrong with our quarter- back, I can't believe he is playing like shizz." Or "This A-hole can't run the fetching ball for shizz." . Either say the word or don't say anything close to the word. Whatever it takes, don't say the cheesy euphemism—it just sounds stupid. Using a swearword euphemism is like having the desire to sniff cocaine, but instead of venturing into a hardcore drug, the person does a line of Pixy Stix instead (I honestly hope that didn't just hit really close to home for anyone, either). Bottom line is, even when someone uses a swearword euphemism, the implied word always registers in everyone's mind, and it makes the person that uttered the ridiculous phrase sound like a sissy whose kids will grow up throwing a baseball the same way Matt Piper throws with his left hand, which is pretty weak if you can imagine. The only obvious exception, would be if you find yourself sitting next to your in-laws and you feel the real thing rolling off of your tongue. Change that s**+ into a shizz so your wife doesn't beat the living shizz out of your sorry ace after the game. t.pizza@ chronicle.utah.edu NEED MONEY? WE NEED YOU! 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