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Show UINTAH BASIN RECORD THE sist FEATHERHEADS allllameeditete catch ‘ . “PLO FEL By O © West Revarapor Unita DEAR- LETS } SQ? WHAT. - {PLACE FoR DINNER ) THERE A FIRE AT TONIGHT OUR. g THE DELICATESSEN DINNER GOT ‘BURNED es : THis sTéeAR. YU —AND THIS VEAL STORE To A ( CAN'T Le dl 2 TASTE CuT BETTER, CALL cee WAITER, = It Will Make a Come-Back “TS THN SSE T |lcr ts MOST STRANGE! JweLL THE courte WE HAVEN'T HAD A, COMPLAINT IN RIGHT— You “CRISP oe I] IM’ VERY SORRY HAPPENED? WAS ||(o “teneigrel | curler Doesn'T —le>our SOME _ FRICASSEE NEXT - fe 4&GES eee nes. \S4 oe te (ot Fetes Cee OW THAT? THE CHICKEN? OH AT THE TABLE OVER. THERE Just SENT BACK THE CHICKEN THET ORDERED— WHAT DO vou MAKE OF c Yes, THEY Mr. Junewed—Is the steak ready a now, dear? oA S Mrs. Junewed—I’m sorry I’m _ so long, dear, but it looked hopeless MAKE ROQUETTES : a OF THAT! | j 5 grilled and doesn’t look much better fried, but if you’ll be patient a little longer I'll see what boiling does to it—Chelsea Record. 2 Open to Question a TALL A somewhat stout for rehearsal FINNEY OF THE FORCE Soll Somespubpr © Western Newspaper Union ie ) OF COURSE NoBUPY WANTS | ' FOIGHT—WHUT S NY HEY, Yous! ” ein’ T'MAKE TRUBBLE ON ME BEAT! OLE “TIND ANNY Bopy Lz THERE. WANNA FIGHTZ IF YA _~ DOES Youse dus’ SAY | SO GuYs ‘Lo, OFFICER! { ox! TIWEES Important AS YousEe sees Me THAT NONE OF ‘EM MUGS WANTS TRIGHT-( FEEL ITS , FIGHT SAFE GO actor was late morning and the Oversight Doctor—All your organs are in perfeet condition! Patient—Good! I am thinking of marrying a second time and— FER ME TO Se Tt’ HIM —= IN one producer was annoyed. He said: “Does anyone know where Blank is?” “Yes,” said one of Blank’s friends. “He’s gone to the tailor to be measured for a suit.” : “Measured,” shouted the producer. “You mean ‘surveyed,’ don’t you?” Just Careful By Ted O'Loughlin Tony—You should see the graceful lines of her neck and her liquid eyes. Her skin is like velvet and her breath ORDER IN Doctor—Hold A\ WN to examine Hagle, on a bit! I your smells like new-mown hay. Jack—Are you . speaking of a girl or a cow?- _ Spink, Spank, Spunk Father—Bobby, if you had a little more spunk in you, I think you would stand better in your class. Now do you know what spunk is? Bobby—Yes, sir. It’s the past participle of spank, REAL ENJOYMENT forgot brain!—Brooklyn Wt Salesmanship Customer—To a SOS SO SS Salesmay—To | SSW what do you owe your extraordinary success aS house-to-house salesman? the first five a ; words aN Sy { utter when a woman opens the door —“Miss, is your mother in?” be faz: ELLA How “I ~ou'tt HAVE To use PoP YouRm IMAGINATION © Wwety Dont \ Awdtite Lovee, Tree tHim ds Pic} You uy Me . uP PoP! Spear. To +Him! Es Gor NO So MY. ori SOERY “PONS HICHWED It Happened know why you married Lesson From Hubby—How dear? _ was kerchief! Her Donkeys He—i don’t see why I had to have such big ears. Her—Well, they say { GLAD MR. FITTS THOUGHT READY TO SAMPLE THE SHOW ORIVIN’ STARTING ROOM ae CAN BE SEEN ALL OVER PIECES ive BEEN a WHO PUT —— = (Copyright, 1932,bs A Bell Syndicate, Inc.) FITTS IT WAS © ae ae ee ANYTHING alSY, Nt Vi My ; a jj y oe Epirac “KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES” Covvright, — Bi . 30—Menial servant ; ‘ 838—Cola 36—Object of devotion © 34——Pipe 87—Body of water 38—Composition 10—Expletive 13—Yield 40—Barter 33——Wide-mouthed jug 16——Covered entrance : 44—Affected 42—-Native 43—Defect 1%—-Search thoroughly 18—Cunning 46—Indentation | 45—Large quantity 19-—-Sharpen 2i—Breezy 48—Chemical of ammonia type _ 23——-Suitable 24——Black 26—Title 52——Kind of cigar 55—Bare 28——Leguminous plant 29—Velocity 57—Unit of time : 381—Enclosure $2—Same 60-—-Rhetorical decoration 35—Wash lightly 38—Apparent 62—-Standard 64—Daily 66—Intent 41——Agzitate E - 43——Nonsense 68—Encroach 69—Genus of ¢ais 44-—Caustic 47—Church bench 70—Divert 72——Lowest point 48—-Kind of fish %3—Duty %4—Tibetan ox 75—Tear 50—Boastful ‘behavior 51—Viper 78—Personal pronoun 7 7—=Mimie 53—-Chopping tool 54—Kind of cheese 8i—-Conclude — -80—Unit of surface 55—-Suitable 56—Repulsive 87——-Beones 58—Petty quarrel 59—Title | 86é—Slar (nusic) 89—Intelligence , 90—Rule 61—Coin 63—Dipper 93—Babble 94—Kor trial (as a jary) 63—-Eleroic poem 67—Suitable 95—Cleft hoof (dial.) 97—Dense 69-——Soft hat T1—-Happened I—Chart MM-M i$ OX TAIL SOUP— BUT THE OL’ LADY DIDN'T PUT ENOUGH SALT IN ise : YUL : icua THE il’ MERCY! I FORGOT TO SOUP! IM THOUGHT SHE DIDN'T SALT !! AS A RULE . OL GAL WICKED SHAKES SALT S A SHAKER! NEARLY SALT THE GLAD IT OF IT HEAVENS! I HAD NO IDEA I PUT SO MUCH SALT IN THE SOUP — (T's TERRIBLE !! IT’S OKAY Now !! SALT! WHY I TASTED THE SOUP AND IT WAS SO FLAT I SALTED {T MYSELF — H/M! (IT TASTES UKE THE ATLANTIC OCEAN. TSK ! TSK! ds ch ;y Saas hi Oe peti ; s UP! FUNNY IT ENOUGH WELL, boiiNaS " FiIK IT oF etet Ae i 7 RIT ¢ Bat © The Ars Newsrapera aren Ss A “we Sis S A 7. ce : Ea ee adeaebere : j picket a aei 4 ; ayys. Oversight Bill—Oh, I say, old chap, did I borrow $5 of you last week?. Jim—No, you didn’t. Bill—How careless of me, Could you let me have it now? “How does your wife new neighborhood?” " _. “Net very well as yet. she’s not well enough with the other married the block to talk about like Customer—Have you pork? Butcher—Good pork? A Spinster’s Philosophy ter you She—Who was it said that one man was a good as another? Some Socialist, I suppose. He—No, some old maid. NERVE, All Just Alike A slightly hilarieus guest at a party embraced a strange woman by “So you have joined a golf club.” *“T had to do it. The only chance of seeing some of the men I have | to do business with is to get ’em on MAYBE the ..;~“nie, mistak e. zed: thoughte madam,”He he apologi said, “but 1 “Excus 4 you were my wife.” “You're for any woman to have, you _ brute,” said the woman, “There,” one, _| a nice sort of husband exclaimed triumphantly, “you clumsy angrily. the talk golf links.” pork Say, that will make chicken salad could buy. than any bet- Chelsea I’m a mail carrier.— HEH, HEH, just Goat “I face from “It ever, ob don’t see how Mary had the to take Carrie’s beau away her.” was her face that did it, howI am sure.” ‘a f 3 $ : 2 mul i} Mm | (oa Q ty the stock - Stating the Facts “Among the prettiest girls present was Brigadier General Blazer,” wrote a young reporter in his ac- of a party. The next day he was called to the editor’s room. “What do you stuff like tor. “Well,” mean that?” explained where by writing | demanded he the edi- : reporter, the was.” in Sheepskin A negro was telling his minister that he had “got religion.” ‘Dat’s fine, brothah; but is you sure you is going to lay aside sin?” asked the minister. “Yessuh, Ah’s done it already.” “An’ is you gwine to pay up all yoh debts?” “Wait. a for playing market.” “that’s like her, too.” (is scheme count HEH jovial The Nerve “Mr, Jones,” commenced the rather timid-looking suitor, “er—ah— that. is, can—or—I—will—you.” “Why, yes, my boy, you may have her,” smiled the girl’s father. — The young man.gaped. “What’s syoa i “My Record. 154——Herb *“It didn’t work.” “What didn’t?” minute, Pahson! You “Early Settler” “Who is that man?” _ “Oh, he’s tlers.”’ “An early of “Is Brown a wise politician?” “Sure thing; he won’t even open be his his bills promptly the month.” pie.” mouth to a piece of pumpkin more one “That than may our settler? early Why, he setcan’t thirty.” be. But he on the pays first all of - 155—Onion-like Vertical. plant 1I—Ratchet check > 2Expand 3—Waver 4—Burn with liquid 5—Greek letter 6—Crooked 7-—Sudden break . 8—Kind of poplar 9—Head 10—Supplement 1li—Past 12—Dullard 13—Clerzyman 14—Raise up 15—-Head 20—Raise up 22—Compassion 27——-Numerical 29—-Yellowish 98—Luxuriant _ 25—Front hair 102—-Cause | destruction 105—Discrimination '110—Boss of a shield 1138—-Handle of ax 115—-Common tree 117—Biblical character 119-——-Emtrance 121—Cireuit breaker —~ 123—Duty 125—Against _ * 127—Entrance 128——Muscular spasm 131—Split 132—Dry- . 129—Morta! 133—Soon 135—Search thoroughly 186—-Proceed on 138-—-Scant 139—Heed : portion . - 143—Yelp «=. 142—Born 145—Condensed moisture 146—Negative particle - — ec RT oe Solution (PLOT Tees IPIEWEESIAIPRIEIGIAIOSSCIRIOIP| AGPloleiciHmeRIAINIS|AIcIEaGION IL[EBBO} WIHIE TREAT IRIVESAIP TEE |SIOINESEIAIR ILI IN| TL BRUBESIP EVE IDEA RSC IOIRIRIAIL te TP TIORANG@AR] t [NIS|E Big) Reb Ee s HIUIRINGRIF IUIDIGIE BAA ICIR{ i [D) YEESIRIA[VIAIDIORNA|S iP B AI IE] PeMIEIEIT BBUCIL yea T(t FIERY Ra A[DIL ie me [PiO|S Bar 1 7) Apa [0 YT NIA IGTH JT eM IE MARU REHIAIRIRYSRIAIP IE] BSUIPISIRIA DBP Be slulR |: INI OISTE NAM] | INIOIRESISIE NID] - ISIE RRP IAICRBRICISIEICIT REGES SSACE IL ILIC MWe | IREMIEIT). SRAIBIElT MEOIN|UIS A o aU] i Pied BEGIAIGIE OIRIMEREINIS 3 HWUBRE:-£& nie base brown ‘MORE SATISFACTION CANT ; 99-—Regular 101—Stupefy 104—-Measure 108——Halo : 134—-Muscular strength 137——Storeroom for foods 140—City in Nevada 141—Black 144-—-Corroded : 145—Take principal meal 147——-Carry 148—Unit of weight 149-—-Obliquely 150—Waste 151—-Depression 152——Seaweed 153—Antiquity I’ve lamb 109—Burden 132—Incarnation good She’ll Get Tired Fortune Teller—Beware. A dark woman is following you! Walker—Well, she'll soon. get tired of that. When Silence Is Golden “How is it,” asks a writer, “that widows always seem to marry again?” It would be unkind to put forward the theory that it is be cause dead men tell no tales.— Punch Magazine. any tool 1li—Measure 112—Personal pronoun 114——Beverage : 116—Regular 117—-Measurement of type (pl.) 118——T'witching 120—Krom this place 122-——Swagsger : 124—-A Biblical character : : 126—Exhausted 128—Fascinate 130—-Pertaining to a division of Greeks Confusing ‘got some the You know acquainted women in them.” Ry Uf. said Jones know you.” 84—EEngraving 107—Instigate z . ° 3 ; RS <e rareid eae pel 7 g kh “Certainly not, sir,” sharply. “Why I hardly “ His Only Chance “Allen has a good plan to get back at his wife.” “What is it?” “When his wife won’t let him talk back to her he talks to himself.” ten dollars.” I |e ain’t talking religion now—you is talkin’ bissness!”—The Tatler Magazine, (| he asked. you could lend me ; i Have whom?’ “My daughter, of course,” replied Jones. “That’s what you mean. You want to marry her, don’t you?” “Why, no, sir,” said the young. man, “J just wanted to know if 5 te ne that? (archaic) 7S——-Harass 82—Lively §5—E'rench military cap 86—Conclude 88-—Inferior _ 91—Dispatch 92—Husband or wife : $4—Logging boot 96—Execise 98—Caustic 100—Russian ' 10i——Beautiful girl 1038—Dam * 104-——Assemblied 106—Small bottle i i iy : i : 74— Lively 6—Swelling due to fluid T9——Korage plant 88—Censure cba Sa EA aes Sa ; es 2 j Aisne oe a bos Ss eR a ien - Re ca ‘ ees AEC es SPR Se re RSLS. RRO : ee Re RE . Horizontal. 4—Eject %—Undermine 72—-—Cipher ~ Om — — ne! Lil iwi . 3 : ot GT SEFORE \ Om ; TO HIRING THE SAM AT THE HOTEL? coe ENOUGH IRA KNOWN ABOUT IT EXCEPT FOR THE WRITING? WRITE ANOTHER PIECE, MR. STIBBETS, WILL YOU TELL WHERE “THEY FROM IN LIKELY THE COUNTY TO SEE “THAT, XHIBIT BUT THEY WOULONT FOR 10¢-- IF YOU TOMORROW PLL TELL’EM eo THIS AFTER NOON | 'EM OUTA THE WINDOW: VM never . By GEORGE STORM ‘OF COURS E, FOLKS HAVE BEEN YUL BE TAKIN’ EM our OF RENTING ME THE SAMPLE’ ROOM TO SHOW OFF THEM SKULL BONES FROM “THE. «---- MIGHT AS GRAVEL. BANK WELL GO, BY THE GAZETTE A nature makes a mistake, © The Bell Syndicate, Inc.) BOBBY THATCHER— Further Publicity Desired OFFICE, AND BE TAKING matinee, 2 It’s soaked with tears. CROSSWORD PUZZLE tbe the Wifey—I never before enjoyed a play so much. Just look at my hand- Knows the Bee Teacher—And what lesson do we learn from the busy bee, children? Boy—Not to get stung.—Answers Magazine. IMAGINATION g } don’t me, f assure you I was taken by surprise when you accepted me.” “No, Johnny, you weren’t taken by surprise—I took you by mistake.” ices =< BEA iC} i a HR | & ‘{e) i ac iEBX) — |