Show gross deception have you heard that clara brown was awfully deceived in her hua hus band good gracious no well I 1 im in not surprised I 1 guess you 11 remember I 1 said I 1 never liked his looks that a tunny funny why you said you were sure he was much too good tor for her mercy how could you have mis understood ander stood mel me I 1 said she was much too good tor for him well clara married him supposing he was a bookkeeper and now he turns out to be A bigamist A millionaire land OF COURSE LO 11 the politician my motto Is the same ame as yours the banker same as mine the politician yes same as you yoli have on your door push D PI little wife vowed she would leave he wears a look of woe and A nd why does this poor husband grieve because she did not go A non sequitur A promo promote tev from some indefinite section out west was trying to sell a penn avenue clerk a few shares of stock but the clerk was not acx lous to invest why should i I 1 buy stock in your mine my dear man were we re right next to the skinned cat which Is producing fabulous tabu loua wealth yes and I 1 live in a boarding house which Is right next door to the mansion of a steel millionaire but that t make me worth any thil ehlig g stating a fact scribbler says he Is thinking serf busly of writing a book I 1 m glad to hear that he Is think ing ng ot of it seriously why so considering the high cost of white paper writing a book Is not a task to be approached in a spirit of levity here herel herell very meek husband I 1 just finished writing your speech tor for the club ma riah his ills wife not so meek what s the subject very meek man the lady who will strike her husband Is no mail man satire candor no man ever exhibited now that you have made 50 1 I suppose you are going to kaep right on tor for the purpose of trying to get a hundred millions no sir you do me an injustice I 1 in going to put dut in the rest of my time trying ta get my conscience into a satisfactory condition IN TOUGH GARB ahr bluick 11 ra ao rf dom T if DON T li K e COOK jinks the old saying about wolves in sheep s clothing comes back to a man blinks when jinks when he orders spring lamb in a cheap restaurant I 1 it well supplied what if the rain his top piece wets he won six lids on lection bete bets valuable testimony did your invitation develop any facts yes replied the inquisitor we bave lave every reason to believe that the ILli ingwers given to our opening quee ques ions aa as to the name business and residence of the star witness were bom complete and absolutely accurate A MODERN PROGRESS A noted english parliamentarian tossed back his thick white mane of hair stroked his white beard and said in broad scotch accent to a new york reporter the rise in world wages has haq been great but the rise in world prices has been greater we have had progress but it has been progress in the wrong direction 11 A tourist was traveling in your V 10 tar far west As he inspected an indian encampment he said to his cowboy guide and are these indians progress ing betcher detcher life the cowboy an es taking a fresh chew of co betcher life they re progressing all their medicine men are patent medicine men now large enough salesman carpets this way madam are your rooms of good eize size customer we live in a flat salesman oh ohl carpet remnants two aisles to the right modern conditions now this Is a witch s test said the young man who was the life of the halloween en party and in performing it I 1 must pretend to ride a broom stick I 1 in sorry but we haven t a broom in n the house faltered the hostess would it work with a carpet sweep ell er just a game didn t itell I 1 tell you what I 1 d do it I 1 caught you drinking those cocktails again honest dad I 1 in just playing a halloween en game i A halloween en game yes ducking tor for cherries MOURNFUL NUMBERS earile earlie what are mournful numo hers aers dad his ills dad figures in bills tor for haster easter bonnets my son what a faffer wrote I 1 remember I 1 1 remember the bouse house I 1 w wa born the little window where my son came creeping in at morn something brilliant styles my wife got off a brilliant thing last night after we got home from the opera myles yes I 1 suppose she slept with that string of diamonda dia mooda mccols about her neck immaterial no man can inherit education well what of it it if a man inherits money he can hire all the aduca tion be hell 11 need and not have to pay it big wages either A mean thrust A great many women want the tho name ot 0 my dressmaker drese maker wheezed the blonde lady but I 1 won t give it to any of them your dressmaker I 1 had alway always supposed you patronized an upholster i er responded the brunette dame mostly wind what kind of a man Is squire sim mona mons anyway 01 well tell you you ve seen them snow storms along airly airey in thi winter when there 0 a good deal 01 0 wind but not much sleighing that s the sort he Is judge her idea patience you know away back in III past ages letters used to be written on stone patrice mercy that must have been terribly hard on turtle soup redd my automobile Is no good I 1 cant sell it tor for anything greene why don t you get it to turn turtle then you might sell it tor for soup As A prophesied the soothsayer we tried to spell clairvoyant and couldn coulden 0 t said that she would marry a poor man but she married a millionaire I 1 know it but everyone who heard ot of the marriage exclaimed poor mani mant of course not lady these souvenir spoons look like forks dealer of course ma am you wouldn t have souvenir spoons look W like spoons would you |