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Show =e ar Vi he 46 ime, aE RAT ARC Weis LAKE DailyTIMES. ‘sALT Published ‘By J.C. GRAHAM'& It is the evil of evil affairs that agents bad enough for bad business are too bad to be trustw orthy. COS ‘-culates gratuitously throughont*the city roils, een, Street Cars, etc. Programme for the SALT House DAKE THEATRE and other piaces adie Amusement. ot THURSDAY, - JAN. 8 : The difference between riding a horse and riding a hobby consists in this» that one can get off a horse at any time, but once on a hobby, aman The dove was put on the ffy. A Sunday school teacher was telling the scholars whut a glorious thing it was to have one Sunday a week. ‘Turning to a boy in the class, he asked: ‘‘Suppose you could change the days of the week, on what day would you have Sunday come, my little man?”’ The boy sa.d, ‘‘If I was bossing the business I would have Sunday come on = €hristmas.’’ A little squint eyed Chicago pranced up to his mother one day boy *‘And you trust answered the me now mat- don’t you ma?’’ ‘Ves, darling,’’ she again replied “Then,’’ spoke up the little innocent, ‘‘what makes you keep the cookies locked up in the pantry the same as ma?’ : A strange look entered | : mother’s | eye, the ever, as she endeavered to solve her little. son’s deepness with the heel end of her slipper: At a church entertainment in Brysn, ium punch was smuggled in ascold tea. The desire for tea was great. An editor of the Fort Plain Register has his office and residence connected by telephone. Yesterday, Mr Skidéd, of Little Falls, au old friend, called on the editor and expected to remain for dinner, The editor hurried to the telephone and shouted to his wife: “Mr. Skidd willbe up with me to dinner, lay an extra plate. Now,’’ to the sea side. When he arrived it was high tide, The next morning the tide being out, the little fellow was found gazing with wonderous eyes atthe long thedistant sea. its One of the most foolish things in the world is the attempt now and then made by acompany of men to keep the result of their deliberations secret. The Lega secret said A little boy, whose father was a doctor, was taken to the circus one evening. While one of the equestrians was per_ forming the little fellow said: “‘T wish he would fall off the horse.’’ When asked why he made the wish he said: ‘‘Then my papa would come.” 'Thetobaceo trade displays remarkable elasticity. The increase iv manufactured tobacco which paid duty last year was 12,600,000 pounds, the inerease in the number of cigars and cigarettes being 164,000,000. Yet this vast production all ends in smoke. room. is a The mirage on the ocean isa sort of sea gull, in that it deceives the sailors. Ah! brethern it is the drink instead of A moving time. Just way. the makes an tale —that of a bull in place for labor and to weigh’t. arfly babies—Rocka- Lord of love, look down dead drummer. from above If you are in need assistant, nothing is busy housewife or the comfort of home manufacturers have view snd have striven ehine which would kept that procure a ma- fully incorporate all these requirements, and the NEW VICTOR certainly is a flattering success, for very We have a fool to teach dur school, A good place for match The men who take up the cause of the pvor Indian are noticed invariably to be bald headed. Tbousands of base deceivers are hung every night—on the back of chairs. _. (he weather wasso hotin on h’old h’ale, they say his manner Kentucky ~ Jast summer that the farmers where ob- Tic, HW TAH DIRECTOR is h’ex—h'ex—h’ex—cent- AMERICAN For ELEGANT SUITINGS Call and see them. Stvles and 1879-80. 132 Clark St., Chicago, Ile, Is n graduate of two regular (Allopathic and Eclectic) Medical Colleges ; for 20 years has treated and cured, with unparaile) BUCcess, those diseases resuiting from youthful follies or excesses in later life, such as Lost Manhood, Spermatorha@a, Imp (Sexual Incapacity); also, Private, Kidvey ard Chronic and habits and abuses of the system. & This Valuable Work Well Bound, IS THE Only Directory EvER PUBLISHED IN Dr, Witiiams UTAH, And is the most complete work of the kind ever compiled for this Territory. It is full of INFoRMATYON. STATISTICS! NAMES! - OCCUPATIONS TREATISES! SKETCHES! RECORDS! NEWS! DATA! Figures. NAMES 22 Times SALE $3.00. AT Printing AND BY addresses him- PROPRIETORS ‘OF THE Printing Otice. (cg After ten years of active experience and gratifying success, have refitted their office with new and handsome types, borders, THE Office, JAMES DWYER. etc., of elegant and recent design, and trust that the merchants and business men of Utah will continue the patronage that has been received in the past. , UNEQUALLED FACILITIES WITH for fine printing, we can turn out bet- ter work than ever and will make it a point, as heretofore, to give full satisfaction. We import cur own EINE STATIONERY selected specially for the wants of the trade, and with good presses can EXCELLENT PRINTING TURN FOR tency Diseases that age and Co. AW and Remember self particularly to those who have already placed themselves under the care of ignorant advertising charlatans from whom they have received u0 benefits, and who, in fact, have done them more harm than good. Medicine, like al) other sciences, is progressive, an] every year shows proof of its advance. By a combination of remedies of great curative power, Dr. WitLIAMS has 50 arranged his treatment that it will afford not only immediate relief, but permanent cure. Do not longer delay. Contents of letters are, held sacredly confidential. Address, L. BR. WILLIAMS, HM. D., 132 Clark Street, Chicago, Ul. Times Culmer Printed Fit Guaranteed DR.WILLIAMS THE PUBLISHERS. Neatly GOODS, Will enable my customers tz select GAZETTEER |400 Pages, When a Briton get. drunk in London merely a little N makers—The school of design. Together with a fine assortment of PRINTING. PURCHASE IF 15,000 And pay her twenty dollars, No matter how hard the times may be FAIL TAK DOESKINS & BROADCLOTHS. experience are very important. TOWNSEND, Taxidermist, Payson, Utah ee Write for Circulars, ey DON’T Selected Well and Stock of Large light run- J. LL. TO FALL & WINTER GOODS. in to it is nearly noiseless and tt hp di, A AN SULTINGS. French and, English — The fact BLOCK. GOMNEY French, English and Scotch of a really excellent more welcome to the contributes more to than a simple, quiet and light running Sewing Machine. S. JOHANSON, My —& Facets and Upon us little scholars, bees cell all the honey they make. liged to fan their wheat. IN EW a. f. XD. ! An Indian occasionally row escape. to SEE WicTonR SEWING MACHINE 'vhe head nurse, in an institution fo, children, calls herself queen of the baw toon. _ The grocer’s motto—Learn THTE TO +o plainly heard: “You tell Mr. Skidd we don’t keep a hotel on washday,.’’ Mr. Skidd excused himself for a few moments, and was next seen eating fried clams in the restraunt on the corner, crops SURE ed. proach the instrument these words were drum Bt ning and bas a very high rate of speed. celebrated deadlock The new manner of winding the bobbir is admirable, while its self setting needle, question and mide the most rigorous self threading shuttle and absence of preparations to keep ‘out reporters. Yet, |springs and cogs render it both simple the more prominent Canada papers had and durable. Be sure to see it and its a full report of the meeting next morn- elegant appearance and general advanting, with all the incidents and speeches. ages will make you its friend. O. H. RIGGS, Now tne Council wants to know, you Agent, Salt Lake City, know, where the reporter was_ conceale Opposite Herald Office the editor, ‘‘Mr. Skidd, you way conthe ‘eat that prostrates the most of ’em. verse with her.’’ | Good tune for an old smoker—SiptAs the gen‘leman was about to ap- Of course the best ee Af- ter a pause he exclaimed: “Why. auntie, it’s all gone down sink.” islative Council of Quebec held the delicious hot drinks, for which the ‘OCCIDENTAL ”’ has become noted. neve! five years old, was taken stretch of sandand HOT TOM AND JERRY. Auer & Murphy are daily meking all this meeting on the week and said: ‘““Ma, hain’t I been areal good boy sicne I begun going to Sunday school?" “Yes, my lamb,’’ lerna fondiy. can get off. A little boy, Ark— the in They played base bal] aes —_-—- ae At OUT Moderate Prices. J. & GRAHAM EMPORIUM & Co., BUILDING, |