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Show / nae IE <A Nee TO 1. g,LT LAKE TIMES. Published Daily & CO. "py J.C. GRAHAM ae It is the evil of evil affairs that agents bad enough for bad business are too bad to be trustworthy. ‘circulates gratuitously throughont the city Tiottls, staitants, Street Cars, etc. other piaces and ae) THEATRE SALT the for ocramme Amusement. of WEDNESDAY, - JAN. 7 ; The difference between riding a horse and that but get riding a hobby consists in this: one can get off a horse at any time, once on a hobby, a man can never off, A little boy, Witarims. —The box of reserved open to-morrow for the sale seats at the Wilhelmj be office will concerts. prices of admission will be our first page. ‘lhe matinee 'The found on on Satur- day will beginat 2 o’clock. ——— —<@> five years old, was taken to the sea side. When he arrived it waS high tide, The next morning the tide being out, the little fellow :was found gazing with wonderous eyes atthe long stretch of sandand thedistant sea. ter a pause he exclaimed: Have you guessed how a euest when he’s toasted—Quails feels of course. “Put no fulsome compliments on my : tomb-stone,’’ said a wag. “Don’t give its sink,’’ One of the most foolish things in the world is the attempt now and then made by a company of men to keep the result of their deliberations secret. The Legislative Council of Quebec held a meeting on the celebrated question and made the most deadlock rigorous preparations to keep secret out reporters. Yet, _| the more prominent, Canada papers had a full report of the meeting next mornA competing hotel out West say gen_ jng, with all the inciderts and speeches: erously to another that ‘‘it stands with- Now the Council wantsto know, you me ay epitaffy.’’ out arrival.’’ know, ed. a SF When a Briton cet drunk in London on h’old h’ale, they say his manner is merely a little h’ex—h’ex—h’ex—centric. where the reporter was cozceal_ A little boy, wh>se father was a doc- tor, was taken to the circus one evening While one of the equestrians was per_ Caroline, under ten, walking through falling Jeaves in autumn: “Are the trees crying, mamma, _ because the summer is gone?”’ forming the little fellow said: ‘‘Y wish he would fall off the horse.’’ When asked why he made the wish he said: ‘‘ hen my papa would come.’’ Who Mrs. onceto take a kiss, Mr. thing he ought not to Miss, The tobacco trade displays remarkable elasticity. The increase in manufactured tobacco which paid duty last year has 1 A word in season is scarcely eve spoker by a manna peppery frame of mind. Little boy of six—‘‘Mamma, do ple say the Prince of _ bea good king?”’ Wales will peo- no, was 12,U00,000 pounds, the increase in the nun-ber of cigars and cigarettes being 164,000,000. Yet this vast production all ends in smoke. The head nurse, in an institution ‘oy children, calls herself queen of the baw] room. Mamma—‘‘Some persons think that he dees not promise very well.’’ . A dangerous train—Mr. George Little boby—‘‘But mamma, perhaps he Francis 'T1ain entered the New Yori ' will not keep his promise.’’ clothing store and in resounding chest Mamma to Isabel (four years of age). tone said: ‘‘I want an overcoat.’’ A Whois rather unmercifully teasing the polite attendant replied: ‘‘Let me rekitten; move your “Hands off,’’ shout“Isabel, my child you must not do so. ed Train. . ‘‘Don’t come near or touch J don’t like to see it." me. If you do you’ll die in sixty days. Isabel—‘‘ Well, Only children can come near moe and don’t look, mam live.’’ Several overcoats were brou-ht. ‘Don’t go near that,’’ he said, suddenly Scene.—Early dinner after first helppointing to his own ulster. The atPresent —GrandmamIng of pudding. tend ints started back from it as if it Christabel, Ma,mamma and children, were a torpedo ora small pox patient. aged four: ‘If you touch it ycur whole nation “Grandmamma, its very naughty to would undergo a shock that might prove | ask for anything, isn’t it?’? fatal.”’ Another salesman came up and Grandmamma— ‘Yes, dear.’’ undertook tosmooth out the wrinkleS Christabel—‘‘That’s why I don’t ask and pull up the collar of the ome he was Mamma forany more pudding, lrying on. ‘‘You’rea dead man who A little boy of seven had been ordered ever you ure,’’ cried ‘Train, whirling and to take claret by the doctor. A person throwing the attendant off his balance. dining with the family said to him: “I will preserve you,’’ he added, hold. ‘‘You should put alittle water with it; ing out afinger tothe frightened atma, ) it brings out the taste.’’ *'Phat’s very fine,’’ _ tendant, ‘‘but you’d responded seven year old, “but I prefer the the taste _leftin.’’ be carefu ] how you touch me.’’ And buttoning his new garment about him, he paid his bill and ENS I better walked out. JERRY. Auer & Murphy are daily making all ROMNEY the SEE TO SURE THE BLOCK. FALL & WINTER C700 .D rs. NEW My VICTOR SEWING MACHINE ter If you are in need of a really excellent assistant, nothing is more welcome to the busy S, JOHANSON, ”’ has become noted. “OCCIDENTAL Be which hot drinks, for the delicious Af- ‘“Why, auntie, it’s all gone down A Broardway engraver recently made this mistake: “Mr. and Mrs. respectfully requests your presents atthe marriage of their daughter. | HOT TOM AND housewife or contributes Weil Stock of Selected SULTINGs. French and English DOESKINS & BROADCLOTES. Together with a fine assortment of AMERICAN manufacturers have kept that faet in view xnd have striven to procure a machine which wou'd fully incorporate all these requirements, and the NEW VICTOR certainly is a flattering success, for it is nearly noiseless and very light running and bas a very high rate of speed. The new manner of winding the bobbir and Freneh, English and Scotch more to the comfort of home than a simple, quiet and light running Sewing Machine. The Large GOODS, Will enable my customers tz select ELEGANT SUITINGS Call and see them. stvles and Fit Guaranteed is admirable,while its self setting needle, self threading shuttle and absence of springs and cogs render it both simple and durable. be sure to see it and its elegant appearance and general advantages will make you its friend. O. H. RIGGS, Agent, Salt Lake City, Opposite Herald Office + J. L. TOWNSEND, ‘Taxidermist, Payson, Utah rr Write for Circulars, 5 DON’T TAH 132 Clark St., Chicago, fils, Is a graduate of two regular (Allopathic and Eclectic) Medical Colleges ; for 20 years has treated and cured, with unparaileled success, those diseases resuiting from youthful follies or excesses in later life, such as Lost Manhood, Spermatorhoea, Imp tency (Sexual Incapacity); also, Private, Kidney and Chronic Diseases and habits and abuses of the system. Remember that age and experience are very important. Dr. WiLLiams addresses himself particularly to those who LIAMS has sO arranged his treatment GAZETTEER For 1879-80. A. Culmer TEE Cines =~ & a Valuable Neatly Printed and Work Well Bound, S THE Only Directory EvER PUBLISHED IN UTaH, And is the most complete work of the kind ever compiled for this Territory. It is fullof INFoRMATION. STATISTICS! NAMES! OCCUPATIONS TREATISES! SKETCHES! RECORDS! NEWS! DATA! Facts and Figures. re 15,000 NAMES 22 400 Pages, FOR Times SALE —- $3.00. AT Printing AND themselves that it willafford not only BY PROPRIETORS OF THE Printing o + ° > Office, Co. PUBLISHERS. This placed PRINTING, IN HW a already COMMERCIAL PURCHASE DIRECTOR HL. have under the care of ignorant advertising charlatans from whom they have received uo benefits, and who, in fact, have done them more harm than good. Medicine, like a]) other sciences, is progressive, an] every year Shows proof of itsadvance. By a combination of remedies of great curative power, Dr. WiL- —+@>— FAIL THE DR.WILLIAMS immediate relief, but permanent cure. Do not longer delay. Contents of letters are held sacredly confidential. Address, L. R. WILLIAMS, M. D., 132 Clark Street, Chicago, I, —_— TO —_—— THE Office, JAMES DWYER. lay After ten years of active experience and gratifying success, have refitted their office with new and handsome types, borders, etc., of elegant and recent design, and trust that the merchants and business men of Utah will continue the patronage that has been received in the past. WITH UNEQUALED FACILITIES for fine printing, we can turn out better work than ever and will make it a point, as heretofore, to give full satisfaction. We import cur own HiNE STATIONERY selected sp‘cially for the wants of the trade, and with good presses can FLUELLENT PARWTING TURN At OUT Moderate Prices. 0O——- J. U. GRAHAM & Co., EMPORIUM BUILDING. |