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Show 6. THE SEARCHLIGHT Simple Lessons in Company Unionism Prof. 1. M. GREENE, Professor, what do you mean by COMPANY They most certainly do, my young ally try to call them unions. them up so that unwary But friends. in reality they Teacher UNION? Do corporations organize They organize company are only Industrial workingmen hold the bag while tycoons unions? unions, and they actu- Snipe and coupon Hunts. They rig clippers celebrate and grow fat. Do so TYCOONS belong to the racoon Not exactly, my young friends. successfully that no one suspects Professor, do TYCOONS or the opossum family, Professor? Maybe they’re called tycoons because they play ’possum them when they instigate Industrial Snipe Hunts. ever come to Utah and Nevada? Yes, Children. Colonel Jackling and E. T. Stannard are Copper tycoons who honor Utah and Nevada with their gracious presence occasionally while they inspect local Snipe Hunts and bestow a few medals instead of higher wages. Doug Moffat is a peewee tycoon who is in immediate charge of the Copper Snipe Hunt. Doug also has the job of pacifving nosey legislative tax committees by means of cham—I mean bubble-water. Professor, please tell us about Utah Copper’s Industrial It’s a pleasure, Children. State’s most pretentious Snipe ing faces, have patiently held and working conditions would spirit should move Mr. Moffat Hunt leaders. Has Snipe Hunt. Colonel Jackling had his high-pressure executives organize the Hunt. The Company roped in about 419 men who, with trustthe sack for several years in the forlorn hope that better wages find their way into the bag, the moment a benign and generous | toward the ‘‘cooperation’’, preached so vehemently by Snipe the Snipe Hunt worked, Professor? Yes, Children. It has worked very well—particularly for Doug Moffat and Colonel Jackling. It has preserved their reputations as tycoons. Of course, Doug and Mr. Cannon and Mr. Larson plant a scrawney two-bit snipe in the bag occasionally so the other 417 Snipe Hunters will not become too discouraged. Doug called that ‘‘cooperation’’—a magic word. He understood that ‘‘cooperation’’ would promote hopefulness, and would steady an arm that might grow weary holding the sack. Professor, how do Mr. Moffat and the Colonel organize Snipe Hunts? My dear young friends, the procedure is very simple. They use a decoy system invented by hunters when they put out wooden ducks. A few relatives, friends, and hatchetmen close to the bosses act as decoys. 'They build up an organization sack; give it a fancy, innocentsounding name, coat it with ‘‘patriotism’’ and ‘‘good_ citizenship’’, bait it with ‘‘cooperation”? and then induce partially blind workmen to hold it. At times the hatehetmen shout nice encouraging words to the sack holders—or have the daily papers do it—exhorting the sack holders to hold fast and keep the faith—that ‘‘cooperation’’ is herding a flock of juicy snipes toward the bag. PES 4 |