Show za fm LO alft 3 WILLIE ORDERS waiter said the man who been puzzling over the bill offart of fare the get full quick restaurant what that fellow opposite me eating lear heartily tily hamburger steak ana onions sir great scott but what an idiot hell suffer all afternoon from andt what s the man next to him eating ham and eggs sir he s another idiot anyone ought to know in this enlightened age that stuff of that kind is dangerous to eat what s the tall fellow with the red tie eating so ravenously 7 griddlecakes griddle cakes sir griddlecakes griddle cakes eh eha 9 well I 1 wouldn t want to feel as badly as he s going to in about an hour from now might just as well eat rubber as those things that old gentleman next to him is apparently relishing some thing pigs knuckles and sauerkraut sauer kraut sir the old know nothing pigs 0 knuckles and sauer kraut why he s liable to drop dead before he gets back to the office why don t people read up a bit on what they should eat and not cider stuff simply beco because it tastes good its it s no wonder you see A long list of deaths in the paper every morning what are you going to have to day sir i oi ou may bring me lobster salad and a dish of ice cream judge 01 CHEAP HEAT go 14 I 1 5 prospective boarder how is the roon room heated landlady by the solar system the sun shines in the front windows three hours every day brooklyn V eagle 1 ancient references lady to applicant for position as domestic my goodness this refer ence enre Is signed by mrs upton applicant mum she signed it lier herself self mum after I 1 id d been there a wake mum but mrs upton has been dead tor for 20 years Is that soa so 9 willi I 1 wull I 1 its wan place aether another oi 01 ve been get tin till on that char cha act ter fur 25 years an un oi of never heard before that the poor leddy was dead heaven rest her N Y weekly A mistake he ile said I 1 had no manners he iles s dead wrong you have a lot of the worst manners I 1 ever saw cleveland leader 80 60 NOW 0 what a lot of gowns tor for a short trip and I 1 told you especially to be economical well I 1 got a second hand time table kleine Witz blatt A t HOPE ON n when hen clouds are low and nights ara ar mack black and starless grows the weary track hope on f for or some day skies of blue mill bend and light the way for you when old the world and gray the day and weary grows the toilsome way hope on hold fast in your despair for skies will some day blossom fair hope on and build your castles strong have faith although the road be long the sun will soon come drifting through and blue skies light tl e way for you milwaukee sentinel COULDN COULON T CATCH THE DOCTOR A i lift here I 1 say doat doctor r what kind of medicine will cure my colda dr smart the kind I 1 prescribe ego jones ones what Is newlywed Bigg hedd 1001 ing so glum smith why the gipsy fortune teller just told his wife that she would have two husbands and that the sec see ond end one would be a very fine sort ol 01 a man J jones ones ha ha hat and Bigg hedd think thinka that Is a reflection on him I 1 sup posea pose smith oh no he thinks his wife must have been married before and never told him precocious thumper occasionally says thing that are wonderfully apropos said one statesman yes answered the other hes he s like our parrot at home it doesn doean I 1 know much but what it does know it keeps repeating until some circum stance arises that makes the remark seem marvelously apt DEDUCTION 00 0 alice I 1 rather like that young thompson he has such a good firm mouth and chin hazel goodness has he been kissing you too chicago journal no sense of humor little bobby was entertaining mr geezer while miss flipper was up stairs adjusting her back hair and div ing her face a few final dabs with the powder put puff my sister says you ain t got no idea of humor said bobby indeed mr geezer returned when hen did she say that just after you was here the last time she said she saw you lookin at yourself in the mirror and you never laffee dunst what it means pa what does it mean when it says that a man has filed a cross bill it means my boy that he ha taken advantage of his first to talk back detroit free press |