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Show THE OGDEN VALLEY NEWS Page 6 Volume II, Issue IX 1 May 2000 Counselors Spot Warning Signs, Boost Low Self-Esteem of Teens by Lyssa Haldeman Student Reporter Taking a look back and remembering the horrifying events occurring the last few years at West Paducah, Jonesboro, Littleton, and Georgia many questions were left unanswered, especially, “Why?” There are many stories told by friends and classmates that the terrorists were taunted, called outcasts, and criticized at school. Were they victims of an ever-growing problem, low self-esteem? What are some warning signs of low self-esteem, and how can one work on improving one’s self worth? According to the National Association for Self Esteem (NASE), self-esteem is the degree to which people apply value to themselves. There are two basic responses to low selfesteem: feeling down on oneself and feeling angry with a need to get even. NASE states that there are several visible warning signs that may be evidence of low self or poor self-esteem. ● Feeling overwhelmed by the pace of life. ● Feeling like a failure relative to everyone else. ● Staying where it is safe, being afraid to try anything too new. ● Behaving timidly and unable to assert yourself. ● Overly depending on others to look after you. ● Putting little effort into things because you doubt you can be suc cessful. ● Putting yourself down constantly. ● Losing your temper quickly. ● Being quick to pick a fight. ● Constantly finding fault in the world. ● Being negative, nothing is good, everything is horrible. ● Taking things out on others. According to Mr. Johnson, a counselor at Weber High School, some other signs of low self-esteem are “failures in school work, comments that students are not important, not caring about anything around them, a decline in grades, and withdrawl from activities.” NASE states the first step to helping those with low self-esteem is recognizing the problem so that the person can make lifestyle changes to improve how s/he feels about him or herself. According to the website “Participation in Building Self-esteem: The Eight Keys to Change,” there are a number of factors that contribute to the poor self-esteem that inhibits learning and obstructs the change process. Some ways of improving this situation are to make several personal changes such as trying not to compare oneself to others. Instead of comparing oneself to others, notice differences, don’t judge them. Try to remember that each person is unique with their own qualities and values to offer. The first step is to surround oneself with people who are positive and affirming. Negative comments and actions will only make people doubt themselves and their abilities. Johnson states, “Negative messages from peers and adults, constant putdowns, rejection, non-acceptance, and students being afraid that maybe they are a little different so they conform to what they think their friends want them to be, cause teens to feel inadequate.” NASE also encourages people to be aware that constructive criticism can be positive and necessary for improvement. A mistake does not make a person a failure. It is a sign that s/he is growing. Treat a mistake as an opportunity to learn. Try not to fall into the low self-esteem traps of blaming others, denying one’s mistakes, hiding them, defending one’s behavior, or criticizing oneself for not being perfect. NASE suggests that when making improvements on self-esteem, erase the feeling that there is something wrong and it needs to be fixed. Instead, focus on one’s strengths and talents, the gifts that a person has been given. Then develop these talents and grow from the foundation of strengths instead of a foundation of weaknesses. “It is important to educate adults, fellow students, and parents to be more tolerant people. To build self-esteem, you need to build from the inside and work out,” states Johnson. He also adds, “Positive strokes work on giving students with low self-esteem a boost, but it is important that you are your own best friend. Remember that the people you associate yourself with aren’t going to be with you forever, so you need to focus on building your own self.” One method to help boost self- MASTER MUFFLER & BRAKE 2017 Washington Blvd. Ogden, UT 84401 Your Fast & Friendly Service Center for: Emissions Testing Oil Changes Brake Repair Suspension & Steering Custom Performance Exhaust Emissions Failure Repair Foreign or Domestic children correctly and tell them when they could have done better? According to Karen Owens, author of Six Myths About Self Esteem, they should explain to their child that he or she has done well and can do even better the next time or acknowledge the effort shown and help their child plan for a better performance next time. They shouldn’t answer a statement of dissatisfaction with praise. “It is important to tell the person that he is still a good person despite failures or mistakes made. Their human worth is very important,” Johnson states. According to Karen Neustadt, staff writer for Keeping Your Balance, a magazine that promotes self-esteem, “Trash those stereotypes. If you feel defeated, you soon will be. And if you think of yourself as a victim, others will too. You’re as good as anyone else.” With a positive attitude and a willingness to improve, a person’s selfesteem can continue to reach new heights as s/he begins to feel better about himself, his or her abilities, and who s/he is. Note: Lyssa Haldeman is The Co-Editorin-Chief of the Warrior News at Weber High School. Senior Meals Meals provided at the Ogden Valley Branch Library. May 4: Mustard Glazed Hamloaf, Augratin Potatoes, Sunshine Cabbage, Waldorf Fruit Salad, Cherry Pie and Potato Roll. May 11: Roast Beef with Gravy, Whipped Potatoes, Orange Glazed Beets, Pineapple Coleslaw, Cantaloupe and Sweet Roll. Mother’s Day Brunch Sunday, May 14th, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Come and celebrate your Mother or Grandmother at the Hungry Wolf Restaurant’s Brunch Buffet. We will be serving all of her favorites and yours. Adults ..................$12.95 Children ................$6.95 NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY 399-3788 esteem is each night before going to bed, write down 10 things that one felt were successes for that day. They don’t need to be big things. They could be kindnesses showed, feelings expressed, or commitments honored. Be sure to reflect on previous entries and feelings of achievement. Many parents wonder what they can do to ensure that their children grow up to be successful, happy, and secure with themselves. According to NASE, the answer to high performance is usually praise. Many parents believe the more they praise their child, the more self-esteem their child will have. Most children realize when they have truly earned their parents’ acclaim or when the parent is simply manipulating them. This leaves many children either feeling that they can never live up to their parent’s expectations and feelings, or that they did do the right thing but maybe a better course of action should have been taken or a better effort should have been put forth. “You need to be truly sincere when you praise others; make sure to praise them on such things as their qualities as a person and not worldly possessions,” Johnson states. 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