Show SPOONERS CONCEIT do sou really mean it mr spoon er when you say I 1 am the best girl in the world asked miss after the young man had suggested that she should become mrs spoon er indeed I 1 do miss asser bated the young man I 1 say it again you are the best girl in the world and the loveliest I 1 think you said the loveliest without doubt I 1 think you said something about my accomplishments I 1 did I 1 said they excelled those of any other girl I 1 believe you called me sweeta A sweeter woman ne er drew breath quoted the ardent lover you used the word perfect too did you nota I 1 did I 1 also pronounced you the pink of perfection propriety and mod esty the empress of my heart the peerless one among the beauteous creatures of your sex a maiden ador able enchanting and worthy of the hand of the best man on earth say the word that will make me the hap man on earth my own dora before 1 give you an answer mr spooner I 1 should like to ask you one question A dozen if you like one will be eno gh don t you think that you have a great deal of assurance to expect a woman with all those excellent qualities to marry such an ordinary man as youa then mr spooner went homa HER MOTOR TONGUE clara s got a tongue like a motor like a motor hows she s always running people down have you not ced I 1 think dick and katharine will soon be married why dear well I 1 passed by the old porch last and I 1 heard her calling him pet names gracious and was she calling him ducky and dearest and angel facea wn w n oell I 1 should say not she was calling him dunce goose and stupid you don t mean it I 1 do and that is always a sure sign a girl is in love with a man chicago dally news D efferent mend ng yes was addicted to poker and cocktails before the mar ariage she told him it was never too late to mend and he reformed that was fine yes bit non he Is telling her it Is never too late to mend in what waya why he keeps her up until long after midnight mend ng his shirts and stockings chicago dally news intercept ng the mail college student nervously D d the prima donna get my bouquet 7 stage doorkeeper yes sir but that six foot young feller you see back there got the letter he s her son N Y weekly TAKING THEM IN TIME mistress what do you mean mima by putting on my newest boots which I 1 ve only worn once m selfa housemaid but ma am if you d worn the boots many times they d be much too large for me Flie gende beaetter Bla etter before taking customer see here you say this medicine will cure consumption you don t look as it it would consumptive drug clerk I 1 I 1 haven t begun taking it yet N Y weekly would half keep her prom se yes she promised to marry him and make him happy do you sup ose she will marry hima oh yes houston post A love match you tell me she married for love but I 1 happen to be aware that the man she married is worth a million ot course the million Is what she loves houston post his experience knicker what is the cheapest way to repair an autom bocker dynamite it and buy a new cne N Y sun fra k the prof table customer purchaser those matches I 1 had yesterday were not good proprietor of shop I 1 m very sorry sir but you never buy anything else at me purchaser well I 1 shan t deal here any proprietor f shop to his errand boy bill go and shut up the shop at once TOOK IT AS A PROPOSAL he very fond of dogs miss don t you think you ought to have an intelligent animal about the house that would protect you and she oh mr muffins this 13 so sud den th s statesmanship statesmanship Is far from tan W th doubt the wise men view it all know about what should be done but not just how to do it washington star rather insinuating ah miss lne whispered the impecunious nobleman did did you tell your paper that you had cap aured me tor one husbands 7 1 did replied the pretty heiress and and did QU tell papa that I 1 was one great piece of lucka I 1 did and what did papa saya he said oh hang the luck chicago dally new and something else stopping for a drink of water you have fine roads in this neighborhood the last time I 1 was along here I 1 went over a mile in a minute and a half farmer yes an you went over a shoat mine too durn ye chicago tribune CAME EASY you re always in debth you ought to be ashamed of yourself oh I 1 don t know if you were in my place you d probably be in debt too what place able to get credit wan ng affections angelina I 1 dont believe you love me as much as you did edwin edwin pooh nonsense what makes you think thata angelina well its several davs now since ou called me a vain and heartless little flirt and I 1 know I 1 haven t changed cassell s journal not likely to be around mr Socie tle are ou not going to call on the bride mrs Socie tle I 1 would be perfectly willing to call on her but I 1 don t want to meet her husband oh I 1 guess there s no danger of meeting him been married six weeks N Y weekly A complete understand ng the social poultice you jeaa to say you re not going to lend me half a dollard the victim Is what I 1 mean to say is that I 1 m not going to give you one QUITE NATURAL mr monk affe I 1 ve beaten you by six tricks the giraffe yes monkey aubr bated miss sparkle Is ferdy s automobile an easy runners cholly glinn sure his dad pa s the bills N Y herald proof pos live knicker how do ou know she Is homec did ou see her bocker no she dian didn t see me N gun |