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Show Besides, believe you me, the gifts are not all I remember. They are what I try to focus on, along with memories of the rays of happiness, hope, and well-being, momentarily unshadowed by the overhanging cloud of deadly disease. For anyone who has been a caretaker there are the painful remembrances that you try to forget, that you - rightly or | Norma peace of mind. do. Nunn (W) 259-5021 wrongly - never share with anyone for the sake of your loved one's dignity, for others’ My mother would say that we do the best we can, and that is all we can H) 259-7275 She is right. _ sl Contur, a For the first year after she died I felt invincible, despite moments of overwhelming despondency. I had seen death, felt its touch. I had faced one of my greatest fears and survived. E Zl. I lived with a heightened appreciation of the present - realizing that it is all any of us are guaranteed. I could still clearly remember the moment of my mother's death, the UALITY REALTY 505 N. Main St. 259-5021 FAX: (435) 259-8387 unmistakable movement of her soul to another place, the presence, somehow, of my father; the utter amazement of witnessing this event. In the wake of her absence, in my naivete, I decided that my best commemoration would be to “live fully”, whatever that meant. After a time, I came down to earth. I passed out of that special designation that affords extra understanding, extra time, extra gentleness to people experiencing loss. The allotted period for grief passed (about one year it seems to me), and it was time to get on with life. It was about that time that living became difficult. I didn't feel any better. In fact, quite frankly,I felt worse. The anesthesia had worn off and I was faced with absence. Perhaps it was partly due to the fact that this was the most recent of a series of losses that seemed My nephew's arrival six years ago was the first birth in our family in a generation, and a soothing balm to our rent hearts. I fell in love with him from the first moment I saw him, but not without the sad realization that he could be lost to us, and not without heartache that he would never know his maternal grandmother. LOG BUILDING (015) equipment for $29,000. (1000) My sadness over my mother's death is particularly strong when I remember that she did continue to take care of my sister and me to the very end. While we did much for her, she did give us one last gift. That gift was her death, which was quick and easy (relatively ATOMIC TRANSFER CC. “VEHICLE SHUTTLE SERVICE ' speaking, of course). We did not have to endure watching her experience months and months of slow but progressive physical deterioration and rapidly escalating levels of pain. At the end it took her just five days to progress from cognizance to death; an astonishing transformation that could only have been accomplished by her particular determination. I wish she had possessed that same determination to live. When grief would lead you to a grey, dreary world, my mother's death day heralded the bluest skies, the brightest flowers, the noisiest birds. As though reassurance of the _ | Are you planning a river trip or mountain bike ride in MOAB or the CANYONLANDS AREA? SAVE YOUR VACATION TIME. Let ATOMIC TRANSFER take care of your vehicle shuttle. Spend your time on the river or bike trails NOT on the highway. On the day of her memorial service the wind began to blow, a real chinook that raised the sand and scoured the-rock. Blow sand, she would call it. When spring brings those days back to us each yearI call them my memorial days. I use them as reminders that my mother, and other loved ones, are not entirely gone; it's just that we were left holding them in our hearts instead of in our hands. ooog BOOK , magnificent stone fireplace, TUCKED AGAINST RED ROCK_C**IYONS with panorama views overlooking Moab. Terraced low mainte! bdrm, 2 baths, large country kitchen and screened porch. Very well in.——<zand priced right at $109,000. (018) WELL BUILT BRICK HOME on great corner lot. Mature landscaping, room for RVs, close to schools and churches in excellent family neighborhood. $119,000. (024) RED ROCK SPIRES ON THIS 12.41 ACRE PARCEL overlooking Arches National Park. Adjoind BLM and State lands with frontage on US 191. Panoramic views of the La Sal Mtns. Terrific value at $150,000. (019) BE YOUR OWN BOSS!! Great Mom & Pop turn key business. All stock and to come, tsunami-like, through our family for a time. y nephew's arrival six years ago was the first birth in our family in a generation, and a soothing balm to our rent hearts. I fell in love with him from the first moment I laid eyes on him, but not without sad realization that now he could be lost to us, and not without heartache that he would never know his maternal grandmother. I felt the same when my niece was born and I think these were the first times I fully “got it” about life. I know this is not news to anyone, but I realized the trick is to understand that you cannot have love without loss, and to go ahead and love in the face of that knowledge. For me, the ability to do that, along with breathing deeply, standing tall, and enjoying the present, is “living ' fully”. Yikes! Easier said than done sometimes. living part of life might come in handy. WRAP-ARO mezzanine and partial basement. Almost 6000 sq. feet concrete parking and low maintenance landscaping. Heart of Downtown Moab. Great visibility. C-3 commercial zoning. $589,000. CLIFFS Moab's only bonded vehicle shuttle service: CARL ANDERSON CHRIS KAUHI (435) 259-7062 Check out our internet site at: www. y or e-mail us too at: atomic@ b lands.com HOMESTEADS Thompson Springs. | Utah | |