|Paper||Canyon Country Zephyr|
|Rights||In Copyright (InC)|
|Rights Holder||Tonya Auden Stiles, Moab, Utah|
|Publisher||Digitized by J. Willard Marriott Library, University of Utah|
|Paper||Canyon Country Zephyr|
How Scientific is ‘Scientology? e e e e f e it An administrative error bya personality evaluator raises serious questions. By Alexandra L. Woodruff It was a warm summer evening when my friend Darrick and I strolled into Salt Lake's Scientology Center. We were on a walk hoping to relieve job stress when we spotted a large red and white sidewalk sign that read: Free Personality Tests. With my sparkling personality and his dry-wit charm, what did we have to lose? Plus it was probably the most stimulating entertainment we were going to find on a weekday in Salt Lake City. We signed up. A very pregnant blond woman sat us down in a room with walls stacked with books by L. Ron Hubbard, the science fiction author who started the religion back in the 1950s. For a complete psychoanalysis, we had to take an IQ test and a have given my experience further thought. But when I returned home, I flipped through my evaluation once more before sending it to the paper-recycling box, and something caught my eye. The evaluations last page personality test. hands. : oe In the end, I realized Scientology and I were kindred spirits; they were just as mean- I did the IQ test first and whizzed right through it. The simple math and logic questions didn't cause me much pain. Next came the personality test: 200 questions that would dissect my psychological makeup into 10 personality traits. I was getting overly confident because the IQ test was so easy. But they hit me with some rough ones: “Are you a slow eater?” and “Do you throw things away only to discover that you need them later?” Yes, I bit my nails; no, I wouldn't admit I was wrong just to “keep the peace.” The test went on and on. “Do children irritate you?” it continued. Of course, I responded. Don't they irritate everyone? “Do you ever feel ill at ease in the company of children?” Again, I marked the “yes” box. I knew these answers would bring down my evaluation a few notches, soI tried to pick up my score on some others. “If you were invading another country, would you feel sympathetic toward conscientious objectors in this country?” Certainly,I thought to myself and marked “yes” on the form. What about “corporal punishment?” Would I use it on a 10-year-old if he refused to obey? No, I decided; they may annoy me, but I wasn't going to make them pay for it with physical pain. Finally all 200 boxes were checked. seemed strangely out of place. never supposed to see. As I scanned the text I realized it was something I was What I found was not more insight into my black personality, but rather a generic script instructing evaluators on how to close the interview. It was a page Gale had intended to rip out, but somehow missed and it ended up in my “cold blooded and heartless” little spirited as I was. The script encouraged evaluators to coerce an emotionally weak person into taking a Scientology class. The prepared guidelines read, “The Evaluator now leans back and says, ‘That's it.' Incomer is hanging on ropes.” Merriam Webster dictionary defines “on the ropes” as “in a defensive and often helpless position.” Part of your difficulty is that you are people openly and giving them necessary not too capable in handling orders and directions required." u are irresponsible in your life and work. You blame your own irresponsibility on others about you, whether a boss, a fr end or a family member. You feel you hawe no control over your own life, what you are doing, what you are beilng and wi at you want to have in life. Although you feel others are controlling you, you really are gncapaute £ accepting control yourself. That can be helped with Scientology. uu are an extremely critical person. You lash out t those about you and the environment, making verbally or you a person Now, I knew I wasn't perfect when I handed over the test--I'm just your typical angsty American trying to survive the 21" century. But considering the circumstances, I figured I was getting through life pretty well. So,I wasn't expecting the dismal evaluation that came next. The evaluator, we'll call her Gale, assured me my IQ score was fine; I could be an executive or and executive's assistant. Yes, my hopes and dreams were soaring now. An executive?!?!... I really have something to look forward to, I thought to myself sarcastically. But she had started me out with the GOOD news. It was all downhill from here. in your associations with people in your life. importance on yourself and opinions to be able hers. Scientology can improve this." to Next Gale pulled out several sheets of green paper, one with my personality charted neatly on a graph and another with a brief narrative of my evaluation. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, “This is going to be harsh, but I'm just going to be really honest about this,” she started. I nodded uncertainly. “You are irresponsible in your life and work. You blame your own irresponsibility on others. Although you feel others are controlling you, you really are incapable of accepting control yourself.” It went on like this paragraph after paragraph-- I was “extremely critical,” I "lashed out verbally” and made it “impossible for people to be around me.” Then came the real kicker, “Nou are quite cold blooded and heartless. You place too much importance on yourself and opinions to be able to be considerate to others.” Those damn kid question did not help me out, but weren't there any points for honesty? Apparently not. Also, sympathy towards conscientious objectors is NOT a positive trait in Scientologists’ eyes. Despite my undying compassion for these guys, Gale told me my “complete inability to project yourself into another persons (sic) place or situation and thus better understand that person causes a great deal of difficulty for you in your associations.” All the way through the laundry list of my personality defects, she peppered the conversation with words of encouragement, “Scientology can help you with this” and “I have seen scores improve just after a few sessions of Scientology.” I wasn't about to shell out any money to people who believed I was morally, psychologically and emotionally depraved. So, I left without signing up. Darrick's evaluation was equally dismal. We discovered we were both “cold blooded and heartless;”,.. finally I understood our friendship's common thread: We walked back home, laughing and comparing notes. Neither of us was about to buy into.the sales pitch that had so obviously been made, so we had to accept the fact we would remain losers in Scientologists’ eyes. Other than a strangely amusing way to fill an evening, I doubt 1 would SO? PRINTS WHAT DO WE DO? We write custom software for the big people and the little...OK...We take that real big file cabinet full of paper and put it all into your computer. 121. 100S. #108 Moab, UT 84532 435.259.4384 800.635.5280 erson is Optimumly D, person is hancting “tan he can comfortably and capably handle, =< yuld be im a straight line indicating that the his activity with capability and certainity. The instructions continued, “If incomer says anything like, ‘what can I do about it?” Evaluator says, ‘That is very commendable. A good point in your favour...” And the script suggested, "...if you'd like a confidential tip, there are all sorts of courses and services going on here all the time...Your best bet would be to take one of the beginning . courses and discover what Scientology can offer you. Go see that lady over there." But I never asked if I could change my Daughter of Satan soul, so I didn't hear this positive and encouraging part of the interview. Nor did I get the "confidential" tip that seems to be neither confidential nor a tip. Science Matters Curious about the validity of the test and whetherI really was the Princess of Darkness, I contacted a clinical psychologist at the University of Utah to examine the test. Christina Rodriguez, Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, said she was unable to determine too much about the test because three elements need to be determined before a test's accuracy can be determined. If any one of these elements is faulty, inconsistent or nonexistent, then the test cannot be trusted as scientific or legitimate. I think Im going to be sick.