Show Thursday January IS The Eagle 1990 Two local psychics offer summer months as people try to take over the Mount Olympus Spring Water Co The National Guard will be called in to intervene I predict that Mikhail Gorbechcv will meet with an unfortunate possibly fatal and highly suspicious accident that will be the tall of his power The Soviet government will tighten its reins on its people once again and the word "glasnost" will become a word that was only used in the eighties I the great Travmundo predict that Elvis Presley and Bruce Lee will return from their honeymoon a happily married couple but will break up after it is discovered that Elvis has secretly been seeing Yul Brenner Also I predict that this year it will be discovered that Elvis has really been dead for all this time I predict that the Coca-Col- a Corporation will merge with McDonalds late this summer and will rename itself McCoke This of course will be mistaken for Manuel housing department Noriegia's cocaine operation which enin the I predict a major drought is also named McCoke and stocks tire state of Utah this summer that will plummet to an all lime low will kill the livestock and deplete The great Madame Gindini We will "medium-at-large- " winter this whose talents are reserves grain have to put our bricks back in our often summoned by reliable newstoilets and the watering of lawns papers such as The National Enquirer will become strictly prohibited and The Star has also made some ascommon be a will riots Looting and tonishing predictions for the future: I predict that within the next year sight in Utah during the long dry n CBS will hire Zsa Zsa Gabor as the host of a new late night talk show after cancelling the Pat Sajak Show Despite the show's classic "slap"-stic- k humor it will fail miserably CBS will replace it with "Late Night with Mr Rogers" Liberace who really isn't dead will show up to sign autographs at a local grocer's market in Magna Utah John Elway will get brace to correct his buck teeth and have them Jill knocked out in a game against the Scahawks In a major earthquake in California triggered by Rosanne Barr jumping on a trampoline in her backyard the stale will tear apart from the rest of the continent By the way if any of you would like to purchase any beach front property near Reno Nevada I can get you a really good deal On a killing rampage Freddie Krugar will move from Elm Street lo a new location where he will take out David Maria Bob Grover the Coookie-Monstand Snufflcupagus in a "Nightmare on Sesame Street” KSL's Craig Bolcrjack will be standing in the unemployment line in 1997 when Eagle Sports Editor Richard Hickmon takes over his job as sports anchor Ted Turner will be sent to Bclvicw Mental Hospital after he tries to colorize NFL referees which banned the sale of presliced bread during WWII went into effect The measure was aimed reducing the demand for metal replacement parts at Church President David McKay died at age 96 own minor Stephanie Bogdln staff writer by With courses ranging Grom managerial economics to teaching in public a distance educaschools Corn-Ntion program offered by Utah Slate University is proving beneficial to area residents et was designed to educate unable to attend other are who people institutions or whose occupations interfere with schooling Gasses both day and evening last two lo three hours once a week This program follows regular university requirements and 186 credit hours are required to graduate "The goal is lo provide bachelor and master degrees lo local residents and allow them to continue from the College of Eastern Utah" Dale Edwards program director of the Kellogg Resource Center said Com-N- et students can reThrough Corn-Nceive bachelor degrees in psychology and business administration An extension division of USU allows students to earn bachelor degrees in elementary education A master's degree can be earned in business administration Students are able to choose their Two processes visual and audio form Corn-NThe visual process slow-scan television which uses a produces numerous frozen pictures movement anAfter each slow-sca- n other frozen picture appears During the audio process the student is able to communicate with their professor through a microphone Corn-Ne has been operating 10 to 12 years Locally the program marked three years in January Seven students completed requirements and graduated last June the first students lo graduate Fifty students are currently enrolled and additional graduates are expected this summer Because oi the limited degree choices Edwards would like to see broader degree offerings "Not everyone likes psychology elementary education and business administration" he stated "People are interested in other areas" If you are interested in Corn-Ncontact Dale Edwards at the Price Library downstairs USU accepts credit earned at CEU Requirements include meeting the class requisites and acceptance to USU et State-wid- et et Education hopes for big piece of state coffers i -- by Cordy West j i J A four percent increase is for hoped yet the actual results may Grom is requested The cost what vary is also increasing benefits of health for faculty and state funding is expected to cover the increase Further expectations from the slate legislature are on CElTs agenda only e request for funding to imthe collection of books and auprove the tomate library at a cost of is $400000 another of CEU's concerns Updating the computer operations for administrative needs student services and registration purposes and funding for instructional equipment are also requested solely from CEU Although the exact number of dollars may not be met Torgerson feels that some funding will be received fat each area Over all he feels that this year is a good funding year for CEU except for the faculty salary increases that are being sought He hesitates to believe that the legislators will to tally fund the faculty salary increases that are needed vices etc news editor tion es 0 distance education ! Troy Hunt placed third in persuasion communication analysis and prose interpretation and fifth in drama interpretation Daniel Es per son placed first in poetry interpretation and fourth in duo interpretation Brian Hunt look first in informative speaking Aimee Anderson third communication analysis Brian Dawes fourth duo interpretation and Dcr-al- d Anderson fifth impromptu speaking CEU won 14 trophies UVCC 12 Dixie 9 Ricks 6 and Snow CSI and SUSC 1 Shortly before Christmas the debate squad along with Carbon High School jointly hosted a high school invitational Over 300 high school students Grom 39 debate teams across Utah participated Orem High School was the first place sweep-stakwinner in the Eastern Utah Invitational division Carbon placed Speech Tournament in the division first and Beaver placed first in the division at offers long et The CEU Forensic Squad placed first overall in their own debate tournament at CEU Jan 12 13 Joe Carver took first in CEDA debate and persuasion third in informative and After dinner speaking and fourth in impromptu speaking Brian Hall placed first in CEDA debate and after dinner speaking and third in drama interpreta- - Marvidikis Photo James Cook english navigator discovered the Corn-n- et by Gina Howard anothar apaach maatstephanla pt 1970-LD- S feature editor Dan Etparaan practlcas hla malarial for yat 1778-Ca- Hardy of Laurel and Hardy fame was bom bakeries cr 4-- A er 1943-Legislati- Debaters take top honors 3-- A 1892-Oliv- Hawaiian Islands forecast for the future multi-talente- 3 Today in History What will happen to Mr Rogers Utah and Coke: d and The amazing extraordinarie ever popular psychic Travmundo will attempt to thrill you with his predictions for the upcoming year Mr Travmundo gained his supernatural abilities at a young age He was riding his bicycle in the rain one afternoon and was struck by lightning Thrown from his bike into Travmundo was hurled head-oan oncoming train Six months later he regained consciousness and had the seeing power I The following are his predictions for the coming year: I Travmundo predict that within the next year there will be two major shake-up- s on the CEU campus The first shakcup will come from a big earthquake in eastern Utah It will register at least 70 on the Richter scale and the epicenter will be sorflewhcre in Emery county The will be within second big shake-u- p the administration of CEU It is not coming in very clear but I believe that a major scandal will rock the Pfle As the state legislature meets this month teachers and school administrations are watching closely CEU is among those educational facilities that have much to gain if the state's congressmen succumb to public pressure and appropriate the needed funding for Utah's schools Specifically CEU has focused on two major goals for the next year Robert Torgcrson CEU vice president said Funding is needed to increase the number of faculty to accommodate the growing number of students However as the school increases its faculties college support services must also increase to meet this demand For instance an extra physical plant worker or a janitor may be needed This total growth increase is estimated at $280000 in funding needed from the stale fund The second a moderate increase in e employee salaries is also a concern This includes teachers administration college support ser stale-wid- One-tim- |