Show — Me COLLEGE OP EASTERN UTAH In Brighter Schizophrenia by ega Just And She replied "Well said No the young lady because" is it why "Young lady to drink Coca Cola?” So I asked “If ft's horrible-sinf-ul to drink coke and to smoke And the young fady knowingly to Is it horrible-sinfu- l then replied "Because if you put a drink why whiskey?” pfooe of meat 4n it over night the And riie replied— very angrily of bit aoke will eat away every "Because if you drink you go ft" beat your wife end home and said 'Oh?" I looked ait me as And she kids" So she said—very indignantly if I had knocked down that poor "You don't believe me! Go ahead blind little old lady again and looked at say it!" She then was Jumping up and down on top me os if I wore a fiend that Just with dirty old combat her of loved to run around knocking bents dawn blind old ladies ariiamcd of myself i I like old Indies so I wry hum-M- y so I I felt "I'm not married mumbled said "I believe you" But I and I ain't got no kids” hpd my fingers crossed Well you'd boat them if you tiler face then became radiant said did” She accusingly "You X&n sure the groat Apostles wore drunkards are all the same you that look when a lamb fell to his go out smoke drink and carry knees and wailed "I repent then go home and beat on T repent!" your wife and kids" So I cont inued “Iben this anti-ock- e "But I don’t drink" Said I— oamoaign was started by the moat industry to preserve meat?" very very humbly said "Do you pray?" :"Ot course not silly!" she d So she And I said “Only when I want with a martyred look on her face "I meant that if you drink something" So riie said "Yoouuu -- L(hcre She trembled si Witty and should go to church and pray to that heaven)— raised her eyes u that Mould it will eat away every Sunday" am not And I said "Ieeee your stomach end everything somewant I only greedy I looked down at my stomach that so month— or a once in horror expecting to see a gaip-to- thing So she said— very haughtty crevtne Where my naval once is NOT what I meant" "That was so still It peaceably ipsted I said "Oh" There I felt like falling to my Then the young lady said 'You knees and giving thanks for beare a dirty little lamb I shall ing alViwed to keep my stomach for you" Instead I asked another question pray "If drinking coke corrodes your So I said "Amen" Then I stomach then what docs smok- checked once again to see if my do?" naval was still Intact ing And She irrid— very smugly "It gives you earner" Takes On ‘ 'Groat Censor's Ghost!" said I Pep Squad suppressing a shudder Dorm Basketball Team She continued “It's even more horribfctsinfiil to smoke than No in the Women’s Gym the drink coke TCI sure be gfad when Today of CEU will play the the government makes Nhcm nasty Pep Squad basketball team in ft vanity cigarette manufacturers put a noon-time game fifciril and cross bones on the pack- M Squad mcmberi Maggie HousGo I asked—vary innocently of ton Taylor Chipman Janet Mott and Don Jordan will fake on course "Why doesn’t the govern- such dorm stan as Dennis Sakas ment make them nasty coke man- Steve Peyton Mike Casseras ufacturers put skull end cross Richard Bird and Steve Bowden bancs on their bottles? It’s better Others playing for the Pep to have cancer than to walk Squad are Barbara Allred Linda without a naval" I patted Hall Mike Bianco and Alice Addy Don’t miss this one my naval reassuringly 6a Flrday January 21 1914 Utah Omb News oooooooooeooooooooooecj Squawks & Chirps Lambda Delta Sigma Z hor-h8Ue-in- ful - -- On Wednesday Lamba Delta held its pledge ceremony for winter quarter The initiation ceremony will be held on February 2 Those pledges who didn’t attend e initiation fall quarter may members by attending this ceremony Initiation is necessary for membership! The regular meetings of Lambda Delt will be held every other Wednesday for bo-com- the rest of the quarter Pi Gamma Chi This week at the regular noon meeting of the sorority the freshmen members received their new blazers Delta Psi Omega Tomorrow Delta Psi members will attend the University of Utah's production of Mary Mary Intercollegiate Knights re-pSie- g ‘ nd The Stags With the owning of a new quarter the mens’ dorm or correctly referred to as Aaron Jones Residence Hall has begun a new phase In the history of the dorm or for that matter in the history rtf the school JSach quarter the boys elect a president and four senators for the purpose of self government This quarter’s president is John Roberts who In the riinrt time gpan of a week has obtained discounts for the residence of the hall from many of the downtown merchants in order to help the boys keep within their budgets 'Ibe dorm should be a home away from home and John has done everything possible to make it that way On Tuesday January 18 John presented a petition to the housing committee on behalf of the boys to obtain a color television This petition stated that each boy would ndd to his fee for room and board one dollar every month In order that the set would not have to be paid for by the school The dorm too has been going without a paper and now if they can obtain aid from the senate will be able to take the morning and evening paper It looks as though progress is coming After two years of inactivity the intercollegiate Knights Golden Eagle Chapter of CEU has been reactivated The officers of this organization are Garth Johnson Duke Angelo Kontas - Worthy Scribe Mike Scmpkin - Worthy Recorder and Craig Ilobi -Chancellor of the Exchequer Other members are Art Reid Richard Hansen Tom Gonzales Leonard Aovagi and Gregg Pasric The advisors to the dub are Dean Carver and Dr Salvatore Ski Club On January 22 and 23 the Ski Club will embark on another of its many ski trips this year Club President Dennis Sakas said the dub wil ski at Alta this weekend both days Everyone who wants to come along is Invited The dub will leave late Friday night or early Saturday morning Dear Editor: Since the second week in October I have taken on the task of Freshman class president I use the word task as it was intended to be used for the Job is truelty a task not only for me but also for the rest of the class officers It is a known fact that the FVesh-ma-n class numbers almost 370 this amount of people with and around me would think it passable to obtain help on some if not all of the class projects So far this year the officers have carried the entire load for the class and now I fed It is time for the students to take part We were elected to serve and lead the class but how can we if there is no one to serve or lead The Ftariunan class assembly is slated for January 31 and all frerivnan arc urged to participate lets show CEU that there is a Freshman class and that as long as CEU exists our freshman class will be remember as the best Sincerely Steven Dougherty Frerivnan Class President Editorials Spoofed By Editorial Writer This is an editorial designed for all of you who normally don't read editorials This is an editorial for most of the student body It be apparent that not many people reed editorials In Sophomore Class fact I would go so far as to say Jim Keller Sophomore class that no me is reading this Now nrraident has announced that the taking that into consideration one Sophomore class will present its would normally assume tint I assembly on Tuesday February would change the name from an 8 Further notice will be given editorial to something rise so peofor those who want to participate ple would read this editorial But seeing as how this editorial Is for Girls Dorm those of you who don't read ediA meeting was held this week torials if I changed the name It by the dorm members to discuss would not be an editorial and dorm problems They also elected there for defeat my purpose So a dorm reporter Jill Cox is dorm I must leave this as an editorial president and Barbara Allred s and realize that no one wiH read it Now knowing that no (me serving as vice president Blue Debs The drill team will sponsor a tea for the Stepperetts and Flag Twlrlers from Mesa Jr College would will read this editorial me to loaf and not my message to those don’t read editorials even reading this — prompts put across of you who and aren’t Don Jordan today at 3 PM In the Union n Tiding The Blue Dd have accepted an invitation to march at Mesa on February 11 Freshman Class A meeting was held on Wednesday evening to mike plans for the assembly that will be presented on January 31 AH those attending this meeting were given a part Staff Editor Kitty Horsley Steve Dougherty Tom Jensen Photographer Columnists Don Jordan and Pat Ortega — Jane Spencer Reporters and Don Jensen Advisor Dean Walton Ass't Editor |