Show September 15 Monday 1SI THE CARBONICLE Pago 3 Home-Tow- DEMETRIOUS THE PHILOSOPHER By PAPPAS In gazing into the realm of the k of our Creator For it is within this mass of grayish matter that we contrive and conceive all our actions and decisions It Is well that this device if we may call it that has abilities devoid of merely our thought processes and can function in part completely apart An human mind we find the cleverest handi-wor- example of this is the faculty wc have for forgetting pain like the soldier who charges into battle even though he has been wounded and felt pain for this same act Yes it is odd— how even though wo know pain can come we go on doing the same things Wait! Wait! What am I beating around the blasted bush for? All I'm looking for is a clever opening line like— well like "Oh no! Another year of rocks" "Spring has sprung the grass is riz and right here again we is” starting another school year What better way than to start with the Jokes that were left over from last year Number 1 Baby Corn—"Where did I come from Mamma?" Mamma Corn— “Hush darling the stalk brought you" What better way than to start with a corny one! Number 2 Fred— “Hey Carl I need that pen you borrowed” Carl— "I'm sorry but I lent it to Hunt Why? Did you have to use it? Fred— “No I don't need it but the owner wants it back” Number 3 Passenger— "Which end of the car do I get off?” Conductor— "Either one It stops at both ends” Number 4 One of the boys staggered out of the El Rancho at 4 am — "What is that strange odor around here?” Sam holding the door open — "That buddy is fresh air" Oh boy puns! Number 5 Cannibal Cook— “Shall I stew both these cooks we captured from the steamer?” Cannibal King— "No one is enough Too many cooks spoil the broth" Nubmor 6 Sim— "Did you say you knew Art?" Jim— "Art who?" Sim— "Artesian" Jim — ‘"Oh yes I knew Artesian well" Number 7 Hank— "I'm so sore from running that I can’t stand or sit" Mack—“If you're telling the truth you’re lying Number 8 Pizzuto— “I went to bed last night and dreamed that I died" Jones— "And the heat woke you up?" Number 9 Wins Scholarship Miss Brenda Migliaccio has been awarded top honors in the Miss Utah Contest as the most talented dancer The award was a two year scholarship to any college of her choice Other scholarships were awarded to the most talented pianist and to the most talented dramatist in the contest which was concluded in Salt Lake City in June Brenda achieved her success with an act featuring an oriental dance a hula and a tap routine Brenda competed with approximper cent of the ately seventy-fiv- e fifty-fiv- e contestants for this award Brenda has made Carbon College her choice and will begin school today Carbon Fire Brings Complications Carbon College gymnasium was the scene of a fire on July 13 How the first started is a mystery The stage flooring and bleachers were almost completely destroyed The walls offices dressing rooms and basement portion of the building were not damaged excessively Many activities have been curtailed because of this disaster All assemblies requiring motion picture equipment have been cancelled and all physical education classes arc being carried cm outside The National Guard Armory will take the place of the gymnasium until the building is repaired Practical Nursing Starts October 13 The fourth class in practical nursing will be established at Carbon College and will begin the year’s work October 13 Applicants will take aptitude tests at the college September 17 and meet the committee on admissions th following week Dr Aaron E Jones president of Carbon College states that it isn’t too late to apply for admission Forms for making application may be obtained at the college office Those who apply should be between the ages of 17 and 50 They should have completed two years or more of high school or be able to pass the high school level development tests They should have good health and be able to give evidence that their children should they have any will be properly cared for while the stndent is in school or in training Those interested should act quickly Dr Jones states because the time for selection of students is rapidly approaching Broudbents Fine 12 Same teacher a few weeks later—"Gus" Gus— "Yea" Tench— “What’s this?" —“It’s bean soup” Teach— "I don't care what it's been What is it now?" Well now we must end culturally so I’ll end with a fable Once there were two little worms One was naughty and the otlier was good The first was lazy and stayed in bed late The other was always up early — young man about town "Girls” “How do you know?" “Well a girl knows when in love with a boy but a boy doesn't even know that the girl's in love with him or what and doesn’t know much of anything— so girls arc more mature" —Exchange formerly (BUCK'S SPORTING GOODS) managers - WALK ON AIR HOWARD Jolene's Shoes JUILET — ME 22 W Main 10 Price Devasting Damsel KELLEY’S Price Drug PLACE — Perfect Meeting Sanitone Dry Cleaning Is and GARY BUSS SEARS No Matter How Active I You are All Day Your Headquarters the Latest in enjoy HI-- FI the delicious RECORD PLAYERS New Treats and Eats RADIOS RECORDS at the the Finest FREE DEUVERY - - Price you'll Quality Cleaners Price Bliss Sporting Center “Who matures faster girls or boys?" For ROMEO Foods East Main slit-fall-s Archie— “How come a woman has never been president?" Stubby— “Don't you know the President has to be over 35?" Number 10 Anctte— "Did you ring sir?" Irate Tourist— “No I was tolling I thought you were dead" “Now then can you give me a room and bath?" Anette— “I can give you a room sir but you will have to take your own bath” Numlier 11 One of the new teachers talking to Gus — “I'll have some raw oysters not too large nor too small not to salty nor too fat They must be cold and I want them quickly" Gus— "Yes sir With or without pearls?" Number Girl n 77 EAST MAIN Milky Way Shoppe PRICE I |