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Show THE BULLETIN - THE MAN EVERYBODY KNOWS Yet No One Has Ever Seen Him! Filet Chair Set With an Initial UNCOMMON 1 AMERICANS Lull By ELMO SCOTT WATSON once BRUCE a BARTON book which be-;ca- liy Elmo a best-selldespite the fact that more than ten million copies of the Bible are printed and distributed every year, not to mention 'the fact that the New Testament is available in 316 languages and dialects. For his book was the story of Jesus Christ and he called it "The er Scott Watson i Dictator Early-Da- y T - eftMen "'v? ONG before Mussolini or Hitler were born, an American gave of "how dictators s get that way." His name was Frederick Hubbard and he was lieutenant-governo- r of the state of Illinois at the time. In 1825 Gov. Edward Coles notified the lieutenant governor that he would leave the state the next month and that Hubbard would be responsi ble for the executive duties during his absence which would not exceed three months. But Cole came back sooner th;in he had expected. The lieutenant-governohowever, was so well pleased with the job that he decided he would like to go on governing. So he announced that Coles, by his absence, had "abdicated" and that as lieutenant-governothe legal successor to the governor, he. Hubbard, was now the governor. Coles paid no attention to this but returned to his duties and was recognized by all the ex ecutive officers as governor. Undiscouraged by this fact, Hubbard issued a commission as paymaster genera to W. L. D. Ewing and when the secretary of state refused to sign it, Ewing, prompted thereto by Hubbard, appealed to the Supreme court to issue a mandamus forcing the secretary to sign the commission. The court refused so Hubbard next appealed to the legislature to support him in his claim to the governorship. When it came to a vote, only two legislators came out openly for the "pretender" and after a while Hubbard decided to abandon his plan of becoming "governor by a demonstration Adol-phu- Man Nobody Knows." I sing of the man whom everybody knows but whom no one has ever seen. Come to think of it, that should be 'mcn" rather than "man," for there's more Ihsin one cf him. r, Take Elmer, for instance that is, take him if you can find him. If you can, you're a better detective than the members of the American Legion. They've been trying to locate Elmer for the lost five or six years and thoy haven't succeeded yet. r, Watching the Legion Elmer's fame spread from the Legion to the country at large. New York newspapers reported that the city was "in the grip of a new wisecrack having to do with the whereabouts and health When the Legionnaires descend upon a city for their annual convention, it's only a question of time before some "buddy" raises his voice above the hubbub of hotel lobbies and corridors to utter the bellowed query: "Where's Elmer?" From that moment on, until the last veteran leaves for his home town, there's scarcely an hour, day or night, when that question isn't being repeated. What if it's never answered? They keep on asking it just the same. Second only to the ignorance of Elmer's whereabouts is the baffling mystery of his identity. Who was this Elmer, who gave the Legion a slogan, a watchword, a rallying cry. Rare, indeed, is the Legionnaire who can't answer that question, even though the accuracy of his answer is doubtful. "Sure, I know all about him," one of them will assure you. "He was a fella from Massachusetts and he brought his of Elmer." reader wrote to the Herald Tribune in protest against this "malignant growth" and "contagious stupidity." But the scorn of highbrows has never yet halted the spread of a popular phrase and "Where's Elmer?" seems destined to become a familiar American byword, its common and widespread use enjoying a curious revival each year at the time of the annual American Legion convention and immediately thereafter. Elmer may never be found nor his identity established but enduring fame is his as the prime example of the man whom everybody knows but whom no one has ever seen. Have you a friend named Dal-to-n and, if so, have you ever "Curse laughingly exclaimed One highbrow "There Goes Old John Santa Fe!" wife with him to the Detroit convention in 1931. The night before the big parade, he got separated from her somewhere on Woodward avenue. No, I don't think he ditched her deliberate but I guess he spent the night celebrating. "Anyway, the next morning, she kept the telephone wires hot calling up his mates and asking 'Where's Elmer?' The Massachusetts boys tried to help her out by calling for Elmer all along the parade route. Pretty soon everybody was yelling 'Where's Elmer?' And that's how the whole thing started. "What was his last name? Don't think I've ever heard. Better ask some of the Massachusetts gang. They ought to know." "No, he wasn't one of our outfit," a Bay Stater will answer your question. "And it didn't start at Detroit, at all. It all began out in Portland in 1932. A delegate from Iowa got lost from his buddy whose name was Elmer. He kept yelling 'Where's Elmer?' until a lot of others took it up. Then the radio man who announced each day's proceedbegan ings over a asking the same question and pretty soon everyone there was yelling 'Where's Elmer?' I don't think they ever found him, but maybe some of the men from Iowa can tell you who he was." From Many States. Inquiry among the Hawkeye leads the Legionnaires only questioner to another state and confirms the elusiveness of both Elmer's whereabouts and his identity. He was a North Carolinian, a Californian, a Missouri-aa Vcrmonter, a Texan or a native of almost any other state you care to name. He was still being sought at Chicago in 1933, at Miami in 1934, at St. Louis in 2935 and at Cleveland last year. After the Chicago convention loud-speak- er n, you, Jack Dalton!" Or, for that matter, haven't you at some time pronounced that anathema upon some one, whether his name was Dalton or not? Who was this Jack Dalton, whose name has come down to us as the symbol of villainy? Several years ago William H. Dalton of Connecticut, whose friends had nicknamed him "Jack Dalton," became curious about that and tried to find out who his namesake W8S. He received a variety of answers from people abnong whom he inquired. "He was one of the Dalton gang of outlaws," said one. But the difficulty with that theory is that not one of the three Daltdns, whose gang was wiped out at Coffey ville, Kan., in 1892, bore the name of John or "Jack," nor did any of their six brothers who were respected citizens and had no share in their careers of banditry. "He was once the official rat catcher of the city of London," declared another. "He was a character in a book written by Charles Lever," affirmed still another. A number agreed that "he was the villain in a melodrama which gave a thrill to Americans of the Civil war era," but they were unable to be more specific as to the name of the play or the date. However, by following this lead, Mr. Dalton and others, notably Roy Day, librarian of the Player's club, brought out the interesting fact that the villain in the famous melodrama, "The e Man," produced by Tom Taylor in London in 18G3 and in New York in 1864, was named Dalton. But he was called "James Dalton, alias Downey, alias 'The Tiger.'" The Typical Villain. Just when or how Jim Dalton became Jack Dalton is unknown. But he has come down to us as Ticket-of-Leav- Parade in Chicago in 1933. the typical villain you know, that tall, dark man with the white teeth which gleam beneath his long, black mustache as he hisses at the shrinking heroine or the manly hero "Ha! At last, I have you in my power!" So when you exclaim jokingly "Curse you. Jack Dalton!" you are perpetuating his fame another man whom everybody knows but whom no one has ever seen in real life. If you've ever traveled in Texas or elsewhere in the Southwest, you've probably heard about Old John Santa Fe. Everybody has, even though it would be difficult to find anyone who has ever actually seen him. One of those times when the train on which you're riding stops in the outskirts of a town, ask the conductor or the brakeman if you've arrived at the station yet. The chances are that he will answer "Nope, got to wait for Old John Santa Fe, you know." For Old John is the fellow who always has to be ahead. If he isn't always ahead, at least he thinks he always ought to be. Just what was the genesis of Old John Santa Fe is unknown. According to one story, he was born as the result of a situation in Forth Worth, Texas, where the "Cotton Belt" and the Santa Fe lines intersect and the "Cotton Belt" uses the Santa Fe station. So when trains on the two lines are approaching the station at approximately the same time, the "Cotton Belt" train, even though it should be nearer to the station than the Santa Fe train, waits until the other pulls in before drawing up to discharge its passengers. From this practice, presumably, the mythical character of Old John Santa Fe and the tradition that he "always has to be ahead" was created by the railroad men and by them made familiar to the public. A Perpetual Plaintiff. Mention of Old John Santa Fe suggests another famous John whom everybody knows but whom no one has ever seen. In one of the early books of English legal forms, a typical case of ejectment was cited in which the plaintiff, to whom the name of John Doe was given, brought suit to force the defendant, a certain Richard Roe, (also a fictitious name) to vacate property belonging to the aforesaid Doe. It's probable that there was once a real John Doe and perhaps he was a clerk or other minor official of the Court of the King's Bench in which the action of ejectment originated. If he was a real person, the facts about him have been lost in the mists of antiquity but that doesn't mean that he and his opponent are any the less well known. Until 1852, when ejectment was abolished by the Common Law Procedure act, Messrs. Doe and Roe were involved in every case of this kind. Even after that date they continued their litigious course, both in England and in America, to which they apparently migrated at a very early date. But John Doe wouldn't be so unfavorably, as well as widely, known if he had been only a party to civil actions. Unfortunately, however, he hasn't. Poor John Doe! What a host of crimes have been committed under his name. Is a public official suspected of being recreant to his trust and accepting bribes or otherwise involved when graft and corruption rears its ugly head? Immediately the grand jury meets, brings in an indictment and issues a warrant. Whose name is on it? Who else but John Doe? When the district attorney decides to suppress gambling or clean up illegal dispensing o f spiritus frumenti, whose gambling dens and illicit stills are raided? John Doe's, of course! A man is found murdered (with a "blunt irstrument," no doubt). Docs the crime go down in the records as having been committed by a "party or parties unknown"? For a little while, perhaps, but when the authorities are ready to accuse some one of the crime, the first man they think of is our old friend, John Doc. Sometimes, by way of variation, he is given an alias as "John Jackson" in New York or "John Den" in New Jersey. (Incidentally, is the "Joe Dokes" or "Doakes," whose name one hears so frequently these days, a descendant of the immortal John Doe, or is he just "a couple of other fellows"?) But the most places it's John Doe who is selected as a "fall guy" on whom to hang all manner of crimes and misdemeanors. He must be the master criminal of all history for, although often accused, there is no record of John's ever having been placed on trial or sentenced to prison or condemned to be executed. So year after year he goes on his nefarious way that is, if you can believe the warrants. Is it possible that John Doe has been able to escape punishment for all the crimes laid at his door because he has had the services of a "Philadelphia lawyer"? Of course, you know about that attorney. You've heard him referred to in such expressions as "That beats a Philadelphia lawyer" or "It would take a Philadelphia lawyer to figure that out" or, as the saying is current up in New England, "Three Phil-- John Doe and Richard Roe. adelphia lawyers are a match for the very devil himself." All of which are a tribute to his astuteness, sagacity and unusual ability, even though the last quotation carries with it an implication of sharp dealing. In doing so it does a grave injustice to the memory of the "Philadelphia lawyer" whose ability was responsible for the origin of that expression. He was Andrew Hamilton and away back in 1735 he was called upon to defend a printer and publisher named John Peter Zenger charged with criminal libel against the colonial governor of New York. So skillful was Hamilton's defense that Zenger was acquitted and his acquittal is now regarded as a milestone in the history of the fight for the freedom of the press in this country. Since Andrew Hamilton, his "Philadelphia lawyer," was given credit for this epochal victory, the highest praise that could be given an attorney in the early days was to say that he was "as smart as that Philadelphia lawyer who defended John Peter Zenger." Gradually the circumstances under which that accolade was won were forgotten and only the symbolism remained in the various terms of reference to a "Philadelphia lawyer." e Western Newspaper Union. usurpation." Later he decided to win that hon- or by more legal methods and during the campaign he made a speech which has become a classic in American political history. He said: "Fellow-citizenI offer myself as a candidate before you for the office of governor. I do not pretend to be man of extraordinary talents; nor do I claim to be equal to Julius Caesar or Napoleon Bonaparte, nor yet to be as great a man as my opponent. Governor Edwards. Nevertheless I think I can govern you pretty well. I do not think it will require a very extraordinarily smart man to govern you; for to tell the I do not think truth, you will be very hard to govern, nohow!" P. S. He wasn't elected. s, fellow-citizen- Iiimaltirtri mwah-iiiiii- i Pattern 1399 Grand, isn't it that big, stunning initial adding that definitely i of personal touch to a chair-se- t string! Select your initial from the alphabet that comes with the pattern, paste it in place on the chart, and crochet it right in with the design (it's as easy as that!). You can, of course, crochet the initials separately as insets on linens, too. Pattern 1399 contains charts and directions for making a chair back 12 by 15 inches, two arm rests 6 by 12 inches and a complete alphabet, the initials measuring 3 Mi by 4 inches; ma terial requirements; an illustration of all stitches used. Send 15 cents in stamps or coins (coins referred) for this pattern to The Sewing Circle Needlecraft Dept., 82 Eighth Ave., New York, N. Y. Please write your name, pattern number and address plainly. iiQClflQ Ice-Bo- 1 pound s By Janet Gaynor Movie Star Cookies butter i cupfuli flour cupful- - sugar S ecca Dates and nuts to suit lVfc Vanula flavoring Cream the butter and sugar. Add the eggs, one by one, beating the mixture meanwhile. Add the five cupfuls of flour gradually while beating the mixture. Add the dates and nuts, which have been previously chopped into small bits. Add the flavoring. Shape this into a roll. Put in x the overnight In the morning slice into thin layers, making the cookies, and bake in a moderate oven. ice-bo- Copyrlahl. WNU Bervleo. s, Yankee Saint ANE hundred years ago they Ganuina spray la quick, looked upon John Humphrey daath to moths, Bias and insect. Noyes as a madman, a crank, a Guards your health, pro facta your heretic and an immoralist. But tonoma of annoying houaa dothing.rida day the historians speak, of him bold pasta. Haa a daan,f rib odor, will as "a Yankee saint," a "true not (tain. Fall satisfaction guarantaad genius" and "one of the noblest pioneers America has ever produced." Born in Vermont, Noyes was educated at Dartmouth and prepared himself for a career in law. But the religious fervor which swept the country in the early 1830's seized him and he entered Andover theological seminary to prepare himself for the ministry. However, after ob2137 taining his license to preach, Noyes WNU W began to rebel against dogmatic and Variable Clime professional religion. Becoming Love is a pleasing but a various known for his heresies, his license was taken away from him. Then clime. Shentone. he announced he was going to establish a kingdom of God on earth and he founded the Putney community in Vermont There he put into practice his philosophy of Christian Communism which included the most intimate relationships of living. Because of "The gaa on my atomach waa ao bad Evan my these daring experiments, Noyes I could not aat or aleop. heart aeemed ta hurt. A friend eug. was repeatedly persecuted flret doaa I took by seated Adlerika. The Now I aat aa I brought ma relief. groups of reformers and more than wiah, aleep fine and never felt batter." once he narrowly escaped imprisonMra. Jaa. Filler. Adlerika acta on BOTH upper and ment. Finally, he moved his colony a while ordinary laxatives lower to Oneida, N. Y., where it became act on bowel the lower bowel only. Adlerika famous for the successful industries Rival your ayatam a thorough bringing out old, poleonoua matter it started. that you would not believe waa In your In 1869 Noyes inaugurated anoth- - ayatam and that haa been caueing gaa atomach, nervoueneae and er experiment which brought down Rune, eourfor monthe. storm of a fresh him H. Li Dr. Shmtb. Ma Ttrk, nauNt protest upon to from the exponents of traditional "In MUto fmtlufi ' Olva your bo wall a REAL cleamtng morality. He called it "stirpicul-ture- " and aee hew good you which was nothing more than with Adlerika fail. Juat on apoonful rellevee GAS for scientific of a program breeding and stubborn conetlpation. At all the human race long before the Leading Druggists. word "eugenics" had been coined. The results of these experiments are said by actuarial experts to THE CHEERFUL CHERUB be unparalleled in the records of modern vital statistics. When zm poor with In 1881 his Oneida community was a to and by corporation changed p&th beset the time of his death five years later there was little left of the By original idea of the community but its name. During me dexi nau cen1 tury the name of John Humphrey Noyes sank into obscurity. Then his TraO&zines biography was written by a modern scholar who has declared: "HowITHev me ever obvious his defects remain, John Noyes possessed the attributes of genius . . . Such a life has seemed far more worthy of commemoration than many of those more celebrated, more honored by the lation and the world, yet who never lared, as Noyes did, to translate .deals into the reality of living." car-ta- in Stomach Gas So Bad Seems To Hurt Heart SJ ssgBjsjgBssssssa I till collectors jtclthy the quarter retd mtkt jo wealthy. feel |