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Show 21 8 THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN OPEN DOOR ual experience is unnatural." These two men. the heterosexual and the homosexual are essentially indistinguishable in any measurement of mental or emotional capacity or ad-- , justment, but for one man, a sexual .. relationship with a woman is against his nature, whereas the other is equally reulsed by the sexual experience with a man. One can make as strong of a case for the psychopathology of the man repulsed by the homosexual experience as the man repulsed by the heterosexual exper--' ience. Most people fall somewhere in between these two extremes and are, to some extent capable of both experiences. But there is. in any given individual, an unmistakable predominance. one way or the other, in the experience of who one authentically is and what for him is shocking freakishness. There are brothels in every city where women wilt for a price, satisfy almost any desire her male customer. may have. Many men indulge ; them selves1 in - these and similar sexual trysts, but it is not an accurate portrayal of what . "natural." Many homosexuals find it as difficult to imagine anything sexually interesting in a woman as some heterosexuals do in trying to imagine any sexual interest in a man. What is it after all, tht two men see in each other sexually? Unable to cross the emotional barrier, many heterosex-- . uals imagine that the two men meet each other in some sordid, despicable place and surreptitiously do hideous unmentionable acts to each other, flee the scene, and live out lives of guilt-riddecumpulsive repetitions of the promiscous encounter. There is no doubt but what e does exist this kind of for some homosexuals. I have known and talked to such men. Unfortunately, many heterosexuals, and even some homosexuals, think that this is essentially what homosexually is and make the erroneous generalization as J. Reuben Clark did, calling homosexuality "that filthy practice. Were his naive perception correct, I would agree with him. His statement reflects the misconception that homosexuality is no less of a complex interplay of emotions, affections, identity, needs, aspirations and sexuality than is heterosexuality. For most of the homosexuals I know, the feelings for one another are the most deep, warm, genuine expressions of love and compassion that two human beings are capable of sharing. Like heterosexuals, most of their affections are not explicitly sexual, nor is their relationship, when sexual, any more oral anal, or prone towards fetishes than is the heterosexual experience. Many navie heterosexuals imagine that a homosexual relationship is a transposition of the heterosexual relationship with one man playing out the feminine role while the other takes the masculine role, particularly in their sexual relations. I know of few such cases. Unfortunately, many of the movies, magazines, plays, novels, and now even TV shows capitalize on the distorted homosexual stereotypes acceptable to the heterosexual audiences. And much of the current gay literature caters to the more visible proponents of a life-n, life-styl- sado-masochist- ic -- rethe "normal" is than genanymore lationship eralizing in the same way from man-woma- . n the homosexual baths to what the "normal love relationship is between two men. Those moralists who would destroy the love between these two men have paradoxically fallen into their own moralistic trap, demanding that sex becomes the prime consideration in a relationship, not love. And for the how practical, let alone is it to destroy or to ethical, fabricate love on the analysts couch form a criteria arising largely from the erotic? Is there not good reason to be alarmed at t, pscho-therapis- Dr. Me Brides preoccupation with the sexual in treating one of the most complex human experiences? Suppression breeds lonliness The heterosexual who is unable to understand homosexuality demands that the homosexual repent of his homosexuality and then observes, as does Dr. Turner with "special hushed solemnity," that homosexuality is one of the most difficult thing to repent of. I pose its corollary. Is it poss-ible, if hypothetic- or commanded, repent of your heterosexuality? If you were to awake tomorrow to a world where heterosexuality was outlawed and you were required to repent of it, just how would you go about it? What would you do about the tremendous backlog of heterosexual desires, experiences, loving relationships, even your earliest childhood memories, attachments and What would if do were further reyou you dehomosexual to quired develop sires? How easy would this be for you and how would you go about it? Could you even attempt it? Minor considerations and differ ences aside, this is precisely how the homosexual experiences the demand to change, three or four right good counseling sessions would do it for you? There are young men whose counselors believed they had changed after three or four sessions. You may realize the absurdity of this, but do you think that thirty shock treatmentsvfhile you looked at naked women, would extinguish your heterosexuality? required ally that you self-concep- Let's suppose that you take this hypothetical demand seriously. After several years of deteimined effort you realize that your of women)? (2 Sam 1:26) behind these forms of entertainment and publications give the general public a grossly factors distorted view of what homosexuality really is. As society is becoming more informed and the not-so-visib- 4LA le but typical homosexaul more insistent on being accepted for who he really is, movies are changing, novels are becoming more true to life, use of the homosexual as a source of comedy less derisive, and much of the gay literature is taking on a more responsible and. mature character as contrasted with its militant juvenilism and ear steadfast to your remain conviction, but you face old age sense of with an loneliness and unfulfillment The question now needs to be asked, Is such a life really morally ever-increasi- ng neutral?' ABSTAINING NOT THE ANSWER Recommending to the homosexual that he abstain from the sexual expression of who he is. has consequences. It cuts him off from the only real possibility open to him to far-reachi- ng experience love. The more frightening fact is that it fact that he is coming to accept the homosexual but he has also attemped several cures. Now, as he approaches middle age, he is statement for him? Why is it that the only ones we ever hear make such a catagorical claim are people who have never been homosexual? homosexuality and open up he really is. All of his years of abstaining and denial have taken their toll on him, but the most dramatic change for the better has taken place recently as he has straightforwardly fallen in love with another man. He is at last allowing himself to love and be loved, and his personality is Brethren have cured? What a his finally able to faceto who homosexual desires are, if anything, experienced more p intensely, and you are as adverse to homosexuality as ever. You then decide to abstain. Your resolve requires a supreme effort Your dreams and fantasies refuse to be suppressed. Your daily routine brings you constantly into contact with attractive women. The longer you abstain, the more persistent your desires become. Since you cannot have a woman and you don't want a man as your intimate companion, you maintain a limited rapport with both. Your social life, though it consumes much of your time and energy, is kept at a safe distance emotionally. No amount Whereall.-,e- . maturing, and a soul, starved for all these years, is at last being nourished with affection and love A telling these- jl - .men, the1 tremendous opportunity the warming, expanding, and contrast is presented by two young men in Europe, both converts and homosexual. One is interesting and fully engaged in experiencing a rich and rewarding life, bit he has been excommuni- - Church has to show the entire world that is has discovered the method by which homosexualtiy can be cured. This method is so accessable that all that is necessary is for the homosexual to really want to change and sincerely follow a few simple steps. Why is it that the Brethren cannot grasp the fact that many of us have already done all they say and much more? Do they not realize that most young men will have already gone to extreme lengths to understand and change their situation before they would go through the terrifying and perhaps himiliating experience of actually telling their bishop that they are .1: Unthe entire Book of Mormon there is hot one single reference to homosexuality." unquestionably condemns him to a life of loneliness which cannot and is not ministered to by any facet of file Church or society. No amount of temple going, priesthood meetings, home teaching, or special interest activity will ease the loneliness. This can only be realized through a mature loving intimacy. The men whom I know who have followed the course of abstention have a cated because he is sexually active. The other young man dull, drab, and for the most part, friendless. Even his apartment has an appalling staleness. All his spare time is spent in Church activities. Why? In his own words, "Because it keeps my mind off sex." A friend who recently visited them described this conspicuous contrast between these two men is and expressed a well-found- ed homosexual? It is a desperate, last resort effort. They come away bewildered and disillusioned. They begin immediately to figure out how to ease the bishop oil And, of course, the easiest way is to convince the bishop thatthey have changed. That's whan the bishop wants to believe afterall, and he would be the last one to challenge the young man on this point He is only too relieved to be rid of the problem. . . Over and over again in the literature appears the documented failure. Nowhere, not even once, have I found a substantially documented and extensively p case history of the cured homosexual. In all of, my, research, I have found only one followed-u- individual who made any kind of an effort to demonstrate he was cured. I began to read his t? and what about the apparent relationship of David and Jonathon which was so intense, (passing the love style that is explicitly erotic and, in some cases, bizarre. The economic of church meetings, social functions or vocational preoccupations fills the void you experience for that warm, loving intimacy with a woman. Loneliness becomes the hallmark of your experience. Ten, twenty years of this isolation take their toll on your personality. You 1 autobiography, called Straight with a good deal of hope and interest. He made a valiant effort to prove his point but fell considerably short The book turned into the account of a married homosexual still of his homosexual desires. I took it to my colleagues and tried my best to suspend my doubts. They all shook their heads in disbelief and returned the book with wry smiles. I had to admit it was not convincing. ft self-conscio- us . 0 Nsuvoo CHURCH AROUSING MEN WITH NUDE conspicuous diminution of humanness in their lives. They are, for the most part a mixture of flat uninteresting, impoverished personalities with a conspicuous tenseness and anxiety that is never focused or constructively expended. Those around them sense their desperate need for warmth and affection but also an overriding coldness, prohibiting any closeness. Years ago, I met a young man here at BYU. I knew in an instant that he was homosexual and, moreover, that he was fighting it. I could tell it from a certain fierceness in his manner. I never saw him again for several years but was kept abreast of his activities, including his counsel from the Brethren, his marriage, and his subsequent divorce. I visited with him about five years ago, and he vigorously denied that he was homosexual though his behavior indicated otherwise. The most convincing indication to me was his fractured personality; a downright dull returned missionary type, so inappropriate for his age, and a hypertensity bordering on hysteria. I have visited with him several times since, and it appears he is slowly concern about the emotional future of the second man. For the homosexual, abstention is translated into a life where experiences for growth, personal discovery and the maturing process are very seriously impaired. Is such a life "morally neutral?' Since you can't cure the homosexual and your efforts to do so only make his situation worse, what do you have to offer him? If homosexuality is wrong, why not lit 'the homosexual answer to God for his sin? Why incriminate yourself? CHURCH HIERARCY DOESNT ANSWER HAVE THE Brother Pecker calls the assertion that homosexuality cannot be cured a malicious and destructive lie. Is it a lie that I have faithfully and meticulously followed every particular point of advice which Brother Packer says will make me heterosexual and yet I remain homosexual? My experience with his advice is the rule, not the exception. Why is it that we never hear one of Brother Packer's cured" homosexuals make this PICTURES OF WOMEN Grant Lee, working under the auspices of the Church Social Services, conducted a group therapy program for a number of Dr. Mormon homsexuals in the Los Angeles area. Part of the therapy consisted of Dr. Lee painting word pictures of nude women and couples in intercourse while members of the group were to try and arouse themselves sexually to this fantasy. I kept close tabs on the progress of this group. One of the men was cured, and the rest of the group were very excited at the prospects for themselves. Several weeks later, the young man returned and confided that he was not cured at all. The group finally fell apart, and I quote one of the members; 'T think most of us came out worse off than before." Dr. lee was subsequently promoted to the central social services of the Church where he is now making a name for himself, publishing his ideas and experiences with homosexuals. He "curing" observes that homosexual relationships are typically shortlived. Just what part does Dr. Zee play in these homosexual relationships being short-live- d M |