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Show TRUTH. 7 A THB SENATOR IN EUROPE :r Booms and a bath I Buckingham Palace, London, f . (By Special Marconigraph ) August 1. Well, here we England, Your correspondent speaks from an experience of several years back, but well let that drop. Well, Cog was next to this condition, and bo, just before we left the land made famous by the expulsion of snakes, he called the senator to one side and talked the matter over with him. Now senator, he said, everyone knows, no one better than yourself, that you are a bit lame when it comes to making speeches. True fer ye, says the senator, but e Im a divil whin it comes to worruk. Yes, thats all right, said Cog, but what you want is to make a record for yourself. To attain rank as a public debator. Sure theres lots of thim sav Im rank now, said the senator. Oh, but see here, persisted if Cog, you could get up on the floor and make a speech like Beveridge, or Spooner, or Teller, or any of the other fellows, you would easily be the greatest man in the senate. Show me the omadhoun what says Im not, says the Oh thats all senator, firing up a bit. continued Youre all Cog. right, as a good right hustler, but what you want is to become a great orator. Sure tis the dhrame of me life, says the senator. Well then, says Cog, I have a scheme. Phat is it? says the senator, too. We are all ready for the great event. soon as are having a good time. Just had arrived, he sent M Ed heard we stathe Prince of Wales down to the and stop tion to invite us to come up discomto with him. Tom didnt like mode anybody, and said so, but the had two hired girls prince said they and plenty of other help around the "lace and it would be no trouble at all. Your correspondent is So we went. have taken certain, however, that they us and that with of deal pains a great have sacrifices comfort several personal overfor he account, our on made been heard the scullery girl tell the coachman this morning, that the prince and bed in princess were using a folding the back chamber, and that the duke and duchess of Kent were bunking on a shake down in the hall. Your correspondent mentions this just to show that Tom is as well thought of away from home as he is at home. ft ft ft Go to the celebrated and far famed Your correspondent wishes to pay castle and kiss the blarney stone, says the homage that is due to the abilities Hurroo, says the senator, takCog. of Cog. Cog is a greater man than Cog by the hand and shaking it. Doc Jones ever dared be. Doc does ing Hurroo, but yer th man fer me ivirv not do anything but write letters telldo it. Ill raise yer salary untiring eff- time. Ill ing about the senators Cog, I will. Lets be aff fer th train. orts, but Cog is a man of originality We started at once and arrived there Everyone in Utah and invention. in due time. Your correspondent will knows that the opposition press, conomit all the preliminary details and sisting of the Utah County Democrat state that we lowered him and the Logan Journal, has been per- succintly head downward, with a rope fast to his petually hammering on the topic that heels and he kissed the stone all right, the senator cannot make a speech. is a senator the but Your correspondent has to admit that all right. My, now when look out And there was some truth in the assertion heavy weight. com-it-te- all-roun- d, collar-and-eloo- w we get back and the senate is again in jrane above th red an be th same Stand session. aside Depew, Bailey, Get some Carmack. Breckenridge, and senator Ilawlins. The hide, place will make you all look like thirty cents. It took right away too, and' ever since we have had to metaphorically sit on the senator, for he wanted to practice on us at once and all the time afterward. But Cog choked him off by telling him thit he must wait and not exhaust himself at the outset. True, the senator said he had a great and could go on for hours, but Cog persuaded him not to take a chance and spoil everything, voc-a-bul-a- oken hell knaw me mimory goes back to th days whin Cromwell invaded th counthreo of me an th time whin William, may th divil fly away wid him, mauled th lives out of thim at th battle of the Boyne. ft ft Rats! says Cog. He won't think of the Bort. He will say, anything What the has that bally idiot jot on that Afghanistan ameers suit for?' And hell call attention to you when you pass by and all the dukes and duchesses will vote you an ass and turn you down when they meet you. The newspaper men will keep your name out of the papers Phat! ssay the senator, keep me name out of th papers? That has never happened yet and be th powers it never shall. But it will, replied Cog, these English newspapers, remember, do not belong to the Salt Lake news bureau. Besides, what do you care for Ireland, after you are out of it? You who were born across the iSt. Lawrence. What do you care for the Irish anyway, except at election time. Come off man; have sense. Yer right Cog, says the senator. Yer always Yer a good man an 111 raise right. yer salary again. Give th clothes to some poor man. Empty th clothes first; there two an six in th right hand trousers pocket. Ill go to th place in th uniform of a mimber of th Kearns Rifles; th same pathern as that 1 promised to buy th brave byes some day." So the senator will appear as a lieutenant-gener- al an-ccs-to- rs, . ry ft ft Cog showed his ability again in more ways than one, but particularly in the matter of the coronation suit the sena- tor ordered in Dublin. The senator escaped from Cog at the time he went down to order his glad rags and not until he had them completed did Cog get his lamps on them. When he did he told the senator he would have to keep them for some meeting of the Sons of that they might stand for them at a pinch, but that it would never do to wear them at the cathedral where Ed. was getting his metallic top piece. Phats wrong wid thim? inquired the senator. Whats wrong? said Cog. Why here you are with red trousers and a green coat. What do you want to tog yourself up like that for? Phat for? said the senator. Sure to show the bloody minded St. George back home; that sinator though I be; of the N. G. U. American though I aip, beneath this ft ft three dollar shirt; beneath this two-fifThe king was not at home when we underwear, there beats a hear-r-r- t filled with th histhry of th wrongs arrived; neither was the queen. The which have been heaped uponOireland; first lord of the kings bedchamber exthat I rimimber Immitt, an OConnell, was he sorry, but his majesty ' an Grattan. Whin th gazabo whats plained goin to be crowned sees me in th Ab- was on ship board recuperating from bey with these clothes on, hell see th the effects of a surgical operation and Anglo-Sax- on ty SEIZE THE GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY! YAV WILL MISS IT IF YOU DONT GO TA AUGUST 9th AUGUST 9th MENS REPUBLICAN CLUB will be there. So will their friends. You may be a DemorHEOUNG crat,- or Populist or a Socialist, but you are not barred from attending the outing. Take the chance and get into good company' for once anyway. Dont stay away because you are afraid you will be converted to Republicanism. Lots of worse things might happen to you. The Republicans are all going, but a little variety will give the affair zest. There will be lots of fun as well as intellectual enjoyment. Governor H. Anderson will make speeches. Senator Wells, Congressman Sutherland, Geo. M. Hansen and James Kearns would be there too if he were not attending to the coronation of the King of England. There will be music. Quartette contests by sweet singers from Salt Lake, Ogden, Provo, Bountiful and elsewhere. Chas. Kent, Mrs. Lizzie Thomas Edward. John James, Millie Williams and other vocalists will sing. There wifi be the funniest base ball game you ever saw and games till you cant rest. There will be prizes too for the events and a $50 gold watch for the most popular lady. Dont fool yourself but go. JTaturday, Exigust 9th , is the "Bate. The IPlace is the ILagoon. |