OCR Text |
Show Fastidious Nora. The h Mistress "Nora. whjr didn't you winding the clock? You only gsvo It a couple of turn." Nora "Sburo, and I'll be lavin' yes termor rer, mum, flo-la- Exceptional Equipment Id not be afther doin' anny of tbe new gyrul'a wor-rk!- " and Man Always Omnivorous. It used to be held that primitive nan was a vegetarian; but the anthropologist Ortvay baa made careful and extended Investigations, which Indicate that primitive man, like tbe modern savage, was omnivorous. Uncle Hiram's Deduction. "Who are thorn people livin' next door?" asked Mrs. Gadsbya Uncle Hiram. "I dont know," she replied. I apoae they've Just moved In?" "No; I think they have lived there lor a good many years." "Ain't they decent?" "I really don't know. I have never heard anything about them." "Hm! Gosh, you people must be nighty well Iff." "What has our financial condition to do with the people who live next door?" "Why, you don't seem to ever have to borrow anything." Are you Interested in California, If so, It Arizona and Old Mexico? would be wise to write for full Information about the shortest line and the best service from your point to those sections via the SALT LAKE ROUTE; Utah's moat popular Road. Simple Gargle for 8ors Threat Tincture of myrrh, two drachms, water, tour ounces, vinegar, four ounces. Ills by shaking up In a bottle. Why Not? Why may not a goose say thus: "All tbe parts of tbe universe I have a Intereat In: Tbe earth serves me to walk upon, the sun to light me; the tars have their Influence upon me; I have an advantage by the wlnda and augh by the waters; there Is nothing that yon heavenly roof looks upon ao favorably as' me, I am the darling of Mature. Is Jt not man that keeps and serves me?" Montaigne. Are you Interested In California, Arisons and Old Mexico? If ao, It would be wise to write for full Information about the shortest line and tbe beat service from your point to those sections vis the SALT LAKE ROUTE; Utahs moat popular Road. All Ho Asked. The father of the girl looked at hla caller. "You are much older than my daughter," be aald, but you are a millionaire, and abe aeema to whnt you ao I suppose It's all right." "Thank you," murmured the caller. "Dut there's one thing I want you to father promise me," the went on. t "And what la that?" The old man's tone grew more ' serious. "I want you to promise me that If 1 ever run for office you will carefully refrain from announcing that you Intend to vote for me," gray-haire- d When the Sea Flows Into the Seine. A strange phenomenon takes place t little Caudebeo twice a year. The sea, announced by a thundering sound and an undulating swell that runs along the rivers face, cornea up from the channel and flows Into the Seine. Tranquil and hitherto unruffled, the river receives this violent visitor In one undulous wave that rushes like a tide along the surface of the water. Harper's Monthly Magaxlne. Are you Interested In California, Arlsona and Old Mexico? If no. It would be wise to write tor full Information about the shortest line and the beat service from your point to those sections via the SALT LAKE ROUTE; Utahs moat popular Road. Origin of Muslin. This 'avorite material of the "summer girl" derives Its name from being first made at Mosul or Mousaul, a town In Turkish Asia. From there It was Introduced into India, and first brought to England In 1670. A few years afterward it was manufactured In large quantities In France and England, and In the present day English-made muslins rival in fineness the most delicate of gauxy muslins made In India. HE COtoSL R TS WITH ROYAL! wrong way to hit the coast, and (C"pyrlglu. lies, by W. G. Chapman.) (Cupyriuht in Great Britain.) first big village we came in sight Reason Is pret- he was going to land and The ty near over, and we have bad a'nieet-In- g chances. of all tbe white men connected Pretty soon a big village loo ;Aed with the expedition nnd decided to up ahead, on a high place near a rtAer, break up the camp and take our ani- with more than 100 houses, and fields animal-capturin- mals to tbe coa!t and sail back to Europe and to the Staten. It wra derided that Pa and I and the cowboy and the negro dwarf belonging to a tribe we have been trying to locale should start for the coast In the airship, and the rest of the crowd should go with the cages, and all round up at a place on the coast in three weeks, when we could catrh a boat for Hamburg, Germany. Bo we got the airship ready and made gas enough to last us a week, and filled the tank that furnishes the power for the screw wheel with gasoline, and In a couple of days we were ready to let her go Gallagher. It was a sad parting for Pa, cause all the captured animals wanted to ahake hands with him, and some of of the acted more human than wa-iwhite men, and when the cagea were all hitched up and ready to move, and the negroes hed been paid off, and liven a drink of rum and a xebra sandwich. Mr. Hagen bach embraced Pa and Pa got up on. the framework of (he ship and took hold of the gear, and we got on and Pa told them to cut her loose, and a little after daylight we sailed away towards the coast, and left the bunch we had been with ao long with moistened eyes. Pa saluted the crowd and throwqd a kiss to the big ourang-outanwhich had become almost like a brother to Pa, the driver whipped up the horses and exen bitched to the cages, and as tbe procession rattled slung to the main road going south, Pa said "Good-by- , Jll we meet again," and Juat then the wind changed and In spite of all Pa could do the airship turned towards '.lie north and run like a scared wolf :he wrong way. The procession had got out of sight cr Pa would have pulled the string that lets the gas escape and come town to the ground, but he realized that If we landed alone we would starve to doalh, and be eaten by wild ihimals, so he let her sail, right away from where we wanted to go, and we all sr.!d our prayers and prayed for the wind to change. Gee, but we sailed over a beautiful country for an hour or two, hills and valleys and all kinds of animals la sight all the time, hut now we didn't want any more animals cause we had no place to keep them. Hut the animals all seemed to want us. The Ilona we passed over would roar at us. the Mgers would snarl, the hyenas would laugh at Pa, the zebras on the plains we passed over would race along with ns and kick up their heels like colts in a pasture, and the cowboy stood straddle of the bamboo frame and Just Itched to throw his lasso over a fine zebra, but Pa told him to let 'em alone, cause we didn't want to be detained. We passed over rivers where hippopotamuses were as thick as suckers in a spring freshet, and they looked at ua as though they wouldn't do a thing to the airship If we landed In their midst. We passed over rhinoceroses with horns bigger than any we had ever seen, and we passed over a herd of more than 100 elephants, and they all give us the laugh. We 'passed over gnus, and springboks and deer of all kinds, and when they heard the propeller, of the airship rattle thpy would look up and snort and run away In all directions. Some giraffes were feeding in the tree- - Conscientious, Indeed! that a leading actress telephoned that her automobile was broken down and she couldn't attend a "Wasn't meeting of her creditors." that sweat of her! Going to all that trouble for a lot of fussy old cred- "I notice one-hal- Urict at Is patent-abili- ty aid Freccdure FREE a pea nqnrt. dutch asd dncripliaa af yaar lavvatiaa. Harry J. Rchiasoe, AHaraty at Law aad Sdkitar af ratcats, 304-- 5 Jadga BsiUmf, Salt Lake City M DAYTON MOREYHfEIGHT SCALES VANGUARD MEAT SLICING MACHINES TEMPLETON CONFUTING laak led CHEESE 'CUTTERS C. M Ui affisa in W. hi U. lb The King Marched with 8tately Tread Toward Pa and the Cowboy and Your Hennery. tops at one grove nnd Pa let the ship down a lllile so we could count the Simla on them, ami I had a syphon of seltzer water and I squirted it In the face cf a big giraffe, and he sneezitl like a rnt that has got a dose of smelling sails, and then the whole herd stamand we peded in a sort of hlpplty-liop- , laughed at their awkwardness. We sailed along over more animals than we thought there were in the world, and over thatched houses In villages, where the negroes would come out and take a look at us, and then fall on their kuees, nnd we could see their mouths work as though they were saying things. Along towards noon Pa yelled to the cowboy that we would hare to land pretty soon, nnd to get the drag rope ready, cause we were going the Tbe cowboy was trembllpg, but ha had hla gun ready, and I was monkeying with an automatic revolver, and "Now, boy, thla la Important! Its the king came right up to Pa, and an Invitation to dinner! looked Pa over, and walked around "Thanks, boss. Hut I cant accept him, making signs. Then he looked at Me dress suit's In hock!" tha airship and gaa bag, and sniffed at MIX FOR LAME BACK the feast cooking, and finally hla eye California Figs. fell on the dwarf, who had been mourned as dead, and he called the To one-hal-f As there is only one genuine Syrup of pint good whiskey, add dwarf one aide to talk to him, and Pa one ounce syrup sarsaparilla, and one and Elixir id Senna and aa the genFigs said to the dwarf: "Tell him we have ounce Toils compound, which can be is manufactured by an original uine inJust dropped down from heaven to procured from any druggist Take In spect the tribe, and take an account teaapoonful dosea before each meal method known to the California Fig Syrup of stock." The king and tbe dwarf and before retiring. This recipe is Co. only, it is always necessary to buy the talked awhile and then the king came never-failing- . pre- genuine to get its beneficial effects. specialists Leading up to Pa and' got down on bis knees, scribe it A knowledge of the above facts enables and In pigeon English, broken by sobt, one to decline imitations or to return them A Dire Threat. be Informed Pa that he recognized It Is well known that certain vaga- if, upon viewing the package, the full name that Pa had been sent from heaven to take the position of king of the tribe, bonds desire nothing better, especialof theCalifurnia Fig SyrupCo. is not found and he announced to the tribe that ly when the cold weather comes on, printed on the front thereof. gathered around him that he abdicated than to be arrested and locked up. In In Pa's favor, and turned hla tribe, order that they may be taken care of lands, stock and mines over to the a while. One of this fraternity sucheaven-sen- t white man, and for them ceeded In getting himself arrested for to look upon Pa as king and escort vagrancy, and ou the way to the lockhim to the palace and turn over to up he was ao much overjoyed by the him all hla property, wlvea, Ivory, cop- prospect of not having to sleep In the per and gold, and he would go Jump open air that he behaved somewhat In the lake, and In token of abdication boisterously. he- - turned over to Pa the ping hat, "Keep quiet!" threatened tha policeand was taking off the beer bottles man; "If you don't. I'll let you go!" from around hla neck when Pa stopped Exchange. There are four advantages In taking Munyon'a Homeopathic Remedies. First, they are positively harmless. Second, they are pleasant to Third, they relieve quickly. Fourth, they cost nothing unless they give satisfaction. Prof, Munyon has Just Issued a MagazinThe Success Sulky Plow e-Almanac, which will be sent free Vow can wake two mistakes In bnyinn to any person who addresses Bhllnc Plows. One ie to Iray an Interior plow bemuse It In offered cheap, nnd the The Munyon Company, Philadelphia. other Is to buy u blah ridine Canton Plows when the SUCCESS, prlred m madtom plow, will do better work. Her Extreme Goodness. The husband of a beloved deceased wife came to see her bust Look at it well, aald the sculptor, "and as it la only In clay I can alter It if necessary. The widower looked at It carefully It la with the most tender Interest her very self, he said. "Her large noae the sign of goodness! Then, bursting Into teara, he added: "She was ao good! Make tha nose a Utile larger! " Llpplncott's. Riches without charity are nothing worth. They are a blessing only to others. Fielding. ONLY ONX "BROMO oriWINE" ifix: the Sfinilira of K. W. uuuVk. La--S the World ever to Unra Cold In Um Her. Sc. It isnt the knocker who mission to our confidence. Successful Plowing with the Success Blow. P1"" ,h will let a tbe best hitch, tho bast landing device, tbe bast rolling cutter, and tbe boat bottoms ever put on Biding Plows. It bae only two levers, but give tha same range of adjustments asthey plows with three or lour levers. It in bearlen-bas more material bat fewer less complicated, then others.parts, and la Finished with wide shares for Alfalfa Plowing, when ordered. ta tro"S. simple and durable! why we rail it the Success." That'; Ask the farmer w ho o was one-he knows. 67 Yem of Knowing How" Ham mered Into Every One of Than. Itu V,ncL' The king agreed, and the tribe '"'tod Pemph-l- et No. 7 of luterext to every and A O Catalog, which willfarmer, be mailed j i PARLIN & ORENDORFF Canton Illinois. Utahlm CO. HmJsr coins CURED IN ONE DAY Giraffe. the deal and said he would take charge of the property and the pal ace, but he would not have the wlvei or the hat, and he would try to govere the tribe so It would soon take ltt place beside the kingdoms of Europe but the old king must sit on his right hand as adviser and friend, and run the family. life-tlm- aP. fTMs ad- AFTER Sqiilrted the Bottle of Seltzer Water looked at him and asked him what the layout was all about, and the dwarf, who had learned to apeak a little English, got on his knees and told Pa the skyshlp had landed in the midst of hla own tribe, where he had been stolen from a year ago by another tribe, and that the feast was a cannibal feast, got up In honor of the tribal Thanksgiving, and that the bodiea roasting were members of another tribe that had been captured In a battle, and the dwarf got up and began to talk to hla old friends and neighbors, and he evidently told them we were great people, having rescued him from the tribe that stole him, and brought him bock home In the skyshlp safe and sound. The people began to kneel down to Pa and worship him, but Pa said It made him sick to smell that stuff cooking, and he told ua that he felt our end had come, cause we had landed In a cannibal country, and they would cook us snd eat us as sure as cooking. Pa said If they roasted him and tried to eat him, they would find they had a pretty tough proimsition. but he thought the cowbijj and I would make pretty good ruling. We got our Winchesters and revolvers off the airship, and got ready to fight If necessary, when suddenly all of (he negroes, dwarfs and negroes got down on the ground, and kissed the earth, all In two Hues, and up to the far end of the line, near the king's house, out came the king of the tribe, dressed like a vaudeville and he marched down between the lines with stately tread towards Pa and the cowboy and your little Hennery. He had on an old plug hat. Ii0 years old at least, evidently only worn on occasions of ceremony, and the rest of him was nuked, except n shirt made of grass, which was buckled around his waist, and he curried nu empty cun in one hund nnd a hi; oil can, such as kerosene is shipped in, In the other, and a round his neck was a lot of empty pint beer bottles strung on a piece of coppec wire, and he had Ms nose and t ars pierced aud In tho holes he wore tin tugs that came off of plugs of tobiii-ro- . He was n steht sure enough, but he was ns dtonifit'd as a southern negro driving a hack. Pa kept hla nerro with him. rolled a clgareti". scratched O' match oil the seat of his pnnts, an t lighted It. and blew smoke through hi nostrils, and looked mad, an he lai I hla Winchester across his left are . gains slow Mrad Cun always be accomplished, under all For Hoarseness and Couchs "Browns Bronchial Troches are wonderfully effective. S cents a box. Samples sent free by John I. Brown A Bon, Boston, Mass. r, f SALT LAKE CITY. UTAH tom-tom- full-grow- n itors." as particular If you were about being pleased with your jewelry as we are to please you, your problems in that line would be quickly solved. of corn and potatoes and grain all around It, and one big house like about 40 hay stacks all in one, and Pa gave the word to stand by, and when we got near the village the whole population came out beating and waving their shirts, and Pa pulled the string, some of the gaa escaped, and wa came down In a sort of plaza right In the center of tho village, and tied the drag rope to a tree, and anchored the gafe bag at both ends. The crowd of negroes stood back In amazement, and waited for the king of the tribe to come out of the big aback, and while he was getting ready to show up we looked around at the prepare) Iona for a feast which we had noticed. It was a regular barbecue, and the little dwarf we had brought along began to sniff at the stuff that was being roasted over the fire, and Pa of the California Fig Syrup Cb. and the scientific attainments of its chemists have rendered possible the production id Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna, in all of its excellence, by obtaining the pure medicinal principles of plants known to act most beneficially and combining them moat skillfully, in the right proportions, with its wholesome and refreshing Syrup of FODRYEARS OFJIUSERY E es Cured by Lydia corted Pa and the cowboy and me tc the palace, and placed Pa on the Vegetable Compound throne, the cowboy on the left, the old Baltimore, McL "For four rain king on the right, nnd me at Pa's feet my life was a misery to me. I suffered and then about 100 of the klng'i wlvei from Irregularicame In with cow tails tied around ties, terrible dragtheir waists and danced before Pa. ging sensations, extreme nervousand Pa covered his eyes and said tc ness, and that all the cowboy: "Take this thing easy, gone feeling in my and dont get rattled, and we will gel stomach. I had out of it some way, hut I'll be cussed given np hope of if I eat any of that roasted nigger. ever being well when I began to After they danced awhile a take Lydia E. Pink-hasounded afar off and the crowd started Vegetable for the feast, and some niggers Compound. Then brought In a tray of meat for ua, but I felt as though Pa said we were vegetarians and the new life bad been great spirit would be offended If we me, snd I am recommending It Sven ate meat, and Pa made a sign of disMrs. W. 8. Ford, my friends. tress, and they took away the boiled 1938 Lansdowne St, Baltimore, Md. The most successful remedy in this ham of a colored person and brought us some green corn and sweet pota- country for the cure of sll forms of female complaints is Lydia E. Pink-hatoes, and then they all drank someVegetable Compound. It has thing out of gourds, and all got drunk stood the test of years and y Is except the old king and Pa and the more widely and successfully used than the cowboy. any other female remedy. It has cured When everybody was good and thousands of women who have been drunk Pa called us all Into executive troubled with displacements, inflamsession and took charge of the af- mation, ulceration, fibroid tumors, irperiodic pains, backache, fairs of the tribe, and we were as- regularities, bearing-dowthat feeling; flatulency, signed to a room as It was night, nnd indigestion, and nervous prostration, when we got In and shut the door. Pa after all other means had failed. How docs this If you are suffering from any of these ays to the cowboy: compare with life with the Nigger ailments, don't give up hope until yon Indians?" And the cowboy said; "This have given Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetakes the cake, and Pa examined table Compound a trial. If you would like apodal advice the old king's valuables, and found gold write to Sira. lMnkham, Lynn, to the national pay enough debt, and Mass for it. She lias guided diamonds by the quart, as big walthousands to health, free of nuts, and Pa said: This sure looks Charge. good to me, and we will tarry a while. You plug up that gas bag so no guilty Pink-ha- ms tom-ton- c ivS. sluMMt Immedlat f.ml ,M Jr. Fereru, tops Dischargee away til aches and canted by colds. It cures Grip andpsli ol gnd prevents Pncumonl gln.tedough. "rtet SB& Have you stiff or swollen no ma ter how chronic? Aik yourJoints, druggist f Uunyoo'e Rhcnmatlsm Remedy and as how quickly yon will bo cured. I bare any kidney or bladder troi Munyon a Kidney Remedy. b'fSt Munyous Vitaliser makes weak me St rnug and restores lost powers. Prof. Mnnyou hoe fast lamed a Kturesln Almanac, which will bo sent free to any pc aoa who addreiutec Tha Mnuyoa Company, PhiladelpM ms ms to-da- live Stock Electrotypes In great variety for sale at the lowest prices by A.N.KELLOGG 73 NEWSPAPER CO. CHICAGO W. Adams St, PARKERS HAIR BALSAM temtifim Uw Xevvv Mila to Heaters On, to Hair Its Tonthfti) Colon walp dtoiM a Into U er.tndaimw Pnnvtou n gas can escape, and some day we will load up with diamonds and things and make a quick and Miecellaneong tm DEFIANCE STIRCH thr atarrhM only IS ounriw DEFIANCE IS SUPERIOR QUAUT tTiii Thompsons W. N. U, Salt Lake 9 CURE THE CHILDREN'S COUGH before the coodant hacking team the delicate membrane of throat and lungs, ex poiing them to tha ravages of deadly dime. Fao'a Cum goes straight to the mat ol the trouble, stops the cough, Mimqphena the lungs and quickly mlieves unhealthy conditions. Became of its pleasant taste and freedom from dangerous ingredients it it the Viral remedy for children. At the fint symptoms of a cough at cold in tho lillle ones you will save sorrow aad fullering if you GIVE THEM PESOS CURE ye Wafer City, No. 8, 1909. get-awa- Our Beat Two Words. The friends the foreigner had made during his visit In New York were sad at his dejparture. They sat about a table at a cafo he had frequented, Good talking of him. aort," they said. Awfully sorry lie's gone. Ol course, he couldn't talk In our language, but he knew enough of It to make him Interesting. Two words: Have another." rsxi w pries |