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Show r Lakeside SiDfld Gommun abuse can be way of Site FARMINGTON The Parent Education Resource Center (PERC) is sponsoring a class called Handling Your Stress ManagePast and Present ment. The class, taught by Brenda Singleton, associate professor of Child and Family Studies at Weber State College, will deal with recognizing stress and how to deal with stress on a healthy level. The class will be held May 2 at 7 p.m. at the Monte Vista Center, 100 S. ;200 East, Farmington. The cost is $3 pef person or couple. Advance registration is required and can be accomplished by visiting the Parent Education Resource Center, 100 S. 7 200 East, Farmington, or by calling L 4 By VALERIE PHILLIPS Lakeside Review hen Susan M. walked into her room and found her smearing lipstick on the walls, something snapped. She grabbed the child and started spanking...and spanking. Her daughters screams only seemed to feed the rage. When Susan finally stopped, fche was horrified and ashamed of what he had done. Most parents if not all encounter times when they lose their temper with their children. And unfortunately, some parents use excessive physical punishment on their child as a way to relieve their feelings. In 1988, there were 6,577 cases ol child abuse andor neglect in Utah reported and confirmed. Of these, 228 cases resulted in serious hospitalization, 57 cases resulted in permanent disability and five cases were fatal, according to the State Division of Family Ser- W: spank-ing...an- d I 451-50- Eat and Be Lean topic of area NARFE meeting Clearfield Chapter CLEARFIELD No. 752, National Association of Retired Federal Employees, (NARFE) will meet April 11 at 12:30 p.m. at the Heritage Center, 562 S. 1000 East in Clearfield. Cheryl S. Young will speak on Eat and Be Lean, a d diet to help heart disease, hypertension and cholesterol. The public is invited. For further information, call Irene Wallace at no-fa- vices. Teresa Brooks of the WeberMorgan Child Abuse Council, said that last year Utah had 12 child fatalities, 13 children who sustained a permanent disability and 203 who required hospitalization due to abuse. In Davis County, the state Division of Social Services and Family Support received 1,034 referrals last year, which includes both founded and unfounded complaints. Neal Ashbridge, supervisor of Child Protective Services Youth Services, said the county last year had one child fatality, two children with permanent disabilities and six who required hospitalization due to abuse. And says Karen Letts, director of the Family Support Center of Layton, which serves all of Davis County, half of all the deaths of babies under age 1 are caused from parental neglect or maltreatment.. She adds that theres a big discrepancy between what is reported and what we think is happening 825-378- Area bethel will perform obligation ceremony : CLEARFIELD Preceptor lota plans numerous April events KAYSVILLE Here, she gives some examples. A new mother, tired from taking care of everyones needs, cant figure out why her baby keeps crying during the night. Why is he doing this to me ?" she won- ders, after checking his diaper, making sure hes well fed and so on. Why doesn't he let me get some sleep T' In frustration, she begins shaking the baby and yelling, What do you want?" s I I I I Shaking and screaming at the baby will scare him so much, hes likely to cry even harder, Mrs. Enders said. Shaking is one of the leading causes of serious spinal cord injuries in children under two, she said. A few years ago I read an article on an illness called shaken child syndrome. Many babies suffering brain damage, spinal cord damage and even death from being shaken a lot. Even just throwing them up in the air and catching them their brain is rattling around and hitting the skull. Its natural to feel frustrated when your baby wont stop crying, but Mrs. Enders says the most important thing is to keep a positive attitude. When babies cry, they are not trying to be mean to you. They are crying because they need something. Also, she added, babies sometimes cry as a way to relieve their tension. Some things a mother can do instead of shaking or hitting a crying baby: Feel his forehead to see if hes feverish, and check his gums to see if hes teething or his ears to make sure he doesnt have an earache. He may have gas or colic. Set him stomach-dow- n on your lap and rock him gently. Take two or three big breaths and relax, since you communicate your stress to the baby by your voice, actions and posture. Go into another room and leave him for ten or 15 minutes. Sometimes babies get just get upset and you cant figure out why. Stand and bounce the baby back and forth. The rhythm may make himj is dy Sanders in Kaysville. Dee Shepherd. A cultural program, My Impressions of the USA will be given . by a Pakistanian. The county council meeting will be at the home of Sherri Butheld April ters in Bountiful. Elections of officers for 1990-9- 1 will be held. A Founders Day banquet will be held at the Quality Inn in Riverdale on April 26. Cocktails at 6:30 p.m., dinner will be served at 7:30 p.m. Cost is $10. Reservations must be received by April 11. The April 24 meeting will be held at 7:30 p.m. at the home of Linda Luzitano. is Monika Gammill. Co-hoste- ss 1 1 Photo illustration by Robert ReganLakeside Review Rather than using physical punishment on your child, try taking some time out. If you become frustrated, rather than punish the infant, find a quiet There are many times when parents Center. Preceptor Iota Chap- ter of Beta Sigma Phi will hold its April 10 meeting at 7 p.m. at the home of Ju- Lakeside Review situations, says Loretta Enders, instruc- of 452 E. 700 South. Members will perform the obligation ceremony, reaffirming their dedication to Jobs Daughters. Natalie Naud, Honored Queen will preside. By VALERIE PHILLIPS tor with Parent Education Resource Bethel No. 15 the International Order of Jobs Daughters will meet Wednesday, April 11, at 7 p.m. at the Clearfield Masonic Temple, Parents: Do without corporal punishment resort to corporal (physical) punishment, but there are always more effective ways of handling these types of 8. i out there. While the majority of people are capable of striking out at a child, Letts says An abuser is somebody who repeatedly and intentionally injures. To be an abusive parent is pretty much a way of life, to relieve your own stress. See ABUSE on page 12 Community briefs Class focuses on stress management skills Violence called a vicious cycle ! 9 Lakeside Review, Tuesday, April 10, 1990 Are you a potential child abuser? Here are some danger signals to look for: Do you expect your child to comfort you when you're feeling blue, or after you and your spouse have argued, or after youve had a hard day's work? You would certainly want a child to be sensitive if, for instance, you come home from having surgery," said Karen Letts, director of the Family Support Center of Layton. But the key is, do you expect your child to take care of you? Its unrealistic to expect your child to pick up on your feelings. You have a problem with behavior, or there's a problem if parents expect things from their child that they should be providing themselves. Do you feel it's a parent's responsibility to spank or slap a child every time he misbehaves, to teach him right from wrong? The only thing a child will learn from spanking is how to hit, hurt and manipulate out of physical punishment," Letts said. A parent is a child's first and best teacher. If parents can think of themselves as a teacher and nurturer rather than always being right, they can model appropriate skills." Do you expect your child to be able to feed himself by age 12 months; or to feed, bathe and clothe himself by age 3? Parents who have unrealistic expectations of their children often end up abusing them because they think the child should know better, and is deliberately trying to cause problems for the parent. Do you think that parents who are sensitive to their children's feelings and moods, or who try to communicate with their children, only spoil them? Many abusive parents are afraid they will spoil" their children. Physical punishment happens because parents dont know any other way, and theyre too worried about their own egos, Letts said. Do you think the word discipline is the same as punishment? Discipline is establishing rules for a child; punishment is what a child receives after breaking the rules. Or, the punishment could be natural consequences that happen from breaking the rules, Letts said. Do you look for defects in your infant or child and then demand that others find them, too? This is a clue that theres something wrong between the parent and child. The parent may be using the child as a scapegoat for an underlying problem. Sometimes the child was a product of a bad relationship," Letts said. "If the family has a real strong animosity toward a child, we suspect that maybe there were some real serious problems surrounding the birth. Were you physically abused as a child? Children who have been repeatedly spanked develop views about parenting g and that, if not replaced with more nurturing attitudes, may lead to abusive parenting and child rearing. According to the WeberMorgan Child Abuse Council, child abuse victims are six times more likely to become abusive parents than parents. al ' child-rearin- non-abus- HWMt The Family Support Center (serving Davis County), 1360 E. 1450 South, Clearfield; 776-454- 0 Utah State Division of Social Services and Family Support Davis County, 1350 6 E. 1450 South, Clearfield; 6 Weber County, 2540 Washington Blvd.; Statewide Hotline, 1 Parent Education Resource Center 100 S. 200 East, Farmington; 3 The Family Support Center (serving Weber and Morgan counties); National Committee for Prevention of Child Abuse, Box 2866WD, Chicago, IL 60690; Parents Anonymous, 6733 S. Sepulveda Blvd., Suit 270, Los Angeles, CA 90045 626-350- 626-350- 451-507- 393-311- go to sleep. We would sing until we Sing. couldnt croak another note, said one mother of her experiences with a fussy baby. Walk the baby in a stroller, or take him for a ride in the car. Often the motion soothes him. Turn on the radio to something soothing. Check the babys formula. He may be allergic to it, or be ready for solids. Co-hoste- ss Communications club discuss themes place to calm yourself down. will for several days in a row, ask a friend or relative to take your baby for awhile so you can sleep. Rearrange your schedule so you can sleep when the baby is sleeping so you can get some rest and feel better. After a child repeatedly gets into a cupboard filled with poisonous cleansers, an angry father wants to teach him a lesson" by spanking, shaking and LAYTON RHETS International Training in Communications Club will meet Wednesday, April 1 1 at 4 p.m. in the conference room, Building 1207, Hill If youve been up with your baby slapping. Hitting is not an effective way to teach, Mrs. Enders said. The child may not understand the connection between the hitting and the behavior. Also, she said, the more you hit him, the worse he feels about himself. This increases the chances that hell hit others. Spanking may lose its impact, leading you to become harsher each time. Instead: Put locks on cupboards and move dangerous or valuable items out of the childs reach. The idea of the house goes against the old adleave everything out because the to age child has to learn not to touch it. Redirect the child into another area of the house. Find something else for him to do. I have learned that the newspapers always there, but kids grow up so fast you miss those opportunities to explore with them, said one father in a PERC class on effective parenting. Explain to the child how cleansers, chemicals or hot stoves can hurt him. But dont use the explanation as a form of punishment. A mother is exasperated because her son keeps riding on his bike, ignoring her pleas to come in for dinner. She fusses, fumes and shouts unrealistic threats that he knows she wont carry baby-proofi- ng out. Air Force Base. Program will be presented by Shirley Brown, How to develop the main theme of a speech. President Linda Garr will preside. Evening of music, art slated FRUIT HEIGHTS See CHILD on page 10 Heights The Fruit Heights LDS Stake will present an evening of music, dance, drama and art on Friday, April 20 at 7 p.m., at the stake ! center, 170 N. Mountain Road. , cultural is The presentation planned by the Fruit Heights LDS Stake music committee with the cooperation and talent of the seven wards of the Fruit Heights Stake. General chairman, is KLyn Lyman. The entertainment will begin with a d rendition of The Stars and Stripes Forever," qfter which one can browse through the art two-pian- o, eight-hande- work on display. Concert goers may then choose between three different areas of musical presentations. The evening will conclude with a short play, Rhythm City, written and directed by Beverly Olsen especially for this event. Free commodifies be distributed FARMINGTON will in May The next USJDA commodities distribution will be held Saturday, May 19, at the Davis County Courthouse in Farmington. Commodities will be distributed from 8 a.m. and will continue until the commodities run : out. senior citizens and generi will be combined. al Individuals will not be able to pick up commodities for other individuals unless prior arrangements are made with the i Human Services Office. Applicants must bring picture I.D. and some form of resident verification such as a utility bill. In order to keep the program running, volunteers are needed for the commodities distribution. To volunteer, please i call Low-incom- Set rules, such as if you dont come in when youre asked, there will be no supper. Dont give them a choice if they dont have one, such as Do you want to come in? Dont make unreasonable threats you wont carry out, such as youll never see your bike again, because the child soon realizes you wont do it. in Fruit : ; e low-inco- 1 451-790- 8. |