Show THE GARLAND TIMES GARLAND UTAH PHONE COMPANY SHOULD SPflCTSCCOPIE ELIMINATE By JOE MAHONEY But the Company Would Ban" Hellos" Instead TWITCHELL WRONG NUMBERS By "DON'T SAY but HELLO" when say ‘hello the phone Give your name or company name promptly and save time”— a telephone company apFrom (‘‘Don’t peal) We hello’ read It again ‘‘Don’t say when you answer the said clearly ‘‘It wastes seemed revolutionary phone” it It time” we call H I But now silence! Nobody wanted to talk to na But we are not easily defeated We called np a Dudley Zeek (at random out of the book) and hurriedly left word with his secretary to phone us It has ring our phono rang We Presently leaped to it and announced our name with no waste of time "Elmer TwitcheU” we said There was no answer Wa Jiggled the hook and insisted on getting the connection Central finally asked “Who called you?” "What difference does it make?” wo ssked "We will take a call frotn anybody" Presently shi us GRACE NOL “Elmer Twitchell’ wo repeated firmly "There is no Elbert P Twitchell here You have the wrong num- CROWELL ber" DARE not pray for you dear friend “No I haven’t Listen “This is not TwitcheU’’ the female voice insisted "Of course not" we explained "How could it be?” "Hello” the voice said "And you're not supposed to say hello’ ” we put in "Hello Who do you want? Hello You must have the wrong number that sorrow The strange unwelcome guest may pass you by I dare not even trust that each tomorrow May hold for you a bright and cloudless sky I cannot hope that pain that hard taskmaster May leave you quite untouched throughout the Hello" "Stop slipping in all of those hellos!" we yelled "Haven't you heard about them?” years Or that you may escape loss and disaster That grief may never dim your eyes with tears i Here For only sorrow brings an understanding Of others’ sorrow only as we learn The slow and tortuous way the harsh demanding That grieving make upon us can we turn And speak the freeing word to some hurt brother And well we know that blue skies bring no rain To heal the heart and we can learn no other Way to sympathize save through experienced pain a male voice put In "Hello” it said "Are ing to get me?” "No you’re trying to get me” Hello" the voice we said "Who are you? repeated "Elmer ley Zeek "Who?” “Dudley you try- crave the best things for you O my friend And for what is best we can trust God to send You are Dud- aren't you?” Zeek” LOVINGLY Fiction Tbit it tbr srason muggy Wbtn parunit do tbtir brst Te ttnd lb nr kidt to tummtr ermps At — s mrrd parmti rtstl a sign In the country S3 "Cattle Crossing miles per hour” That’s too fast for any cow to move in modern traffic— Arthur III— Saw McElroy “United States Deficit 08 lion a Day” — Headline Aw they can’t be trying! Mil- Rossia has paid three million dollars eat in bonuses te mothers of babies Moscow announces We await the claim that Russia originated the Idea oi motherhood With every restaurant in Reno closed wo understand hundreds of divorce applicants wiped from their suits the complaint that tho wife’s cooking constituted intolerable cruelty Wa 'trust that the Illness of Bobis trivby Clark great comedian ial and that above all the doctors will never maks him give up cigars BUGLE & BANNER Cole Porter has indorsed a beer Kiss Me Keg” All the munlUons stocks have been strong sines Olsen 8c Johnson returned Ys ed watched the pair on video and got powder bums "Harvey” is being played In Wales with t Welsh rabbit of course We know a fellow who Is going to reverse the routine and appeal his esse from the supreme court to the lower tribunals They seem to think clearer down there GOTHAM Twitchell "No” came the answer “This is the Economy Pastrami Factory Amos Finch speaking” "Are you trying to get Elmer TwitcheU?" "No My secretary has been trying to get the city haU What’re you doing on the line Hello There must be a mbcup Hello HeUo” I It was toe much We hung sp sad fell wilted ints a chair After a while the phone rang The wife answered It "There’s a Dudley Zeek en the wire He says yon left word for him U call” “Jait say heilo’ to him four or five times” wo concluded bitterly every II seconds reasonable After all why not So with the company? down and awaited a phone sat la strange hew long one to wait for the phone to when one is not busy If we had been absorbed in a book tied np In a conference trying to find a rhyme or busy at reassembling a Swiss watch there would have been a cal) THINKS PHILLIPS TEMPLE By Richard H Wilkinson Corner 1 was indeed TEMPLE: to learn that you had obsuch a satisfactory position sure that you“ will make a I most efficient secretary Frankly have been entertaming some misgivings about your future Serving modto in the capacity of guardian ern young ladies is after all hardly in my line although I was only too glad to look pkEAR BY INEZ GERHARD MANSFIELD young IRVING at Columbia broadcasting proves that lightning can and strike twice He conceived sucthe tremendously produces Talent cessful “Arthur Godfrey’s Scouts” using a different twist on the same idea he came through "This with the new hit show He Is Broadway" also on CBS began in radio In 1943 as coordinator of the Fred Allen show then f DRYING MANSFIELD in 1944 and ’43 produced ths Milton Berle program Realizing what CBS aislgned him to they had originate and develop new comedy and variety shows and he came ths Godfrey gold with through s mine which made its first on the air on July 8 1948 Well “The Fonntalnhesd" arrived was seen and preved te be despite disappointing the excellent cast and the money lavished on the production As with "Arch of Triumph” a good book Just was not good screen material At luncheon in New York months announced ago Macdonald Carey that a second visit from the stork Elizabeth was slated for his home Macdonald arrived July Carey 12th ending a long tedious sojourn in bed for her mother Carey set in the installed a television his wife bedroom to entertain He commented sadly that she didn’t care to watch football games and be did On the lookout for new acting ’talent Columbia bis signed Benno Schneider as top drama coach He is rehearsing a group of players some of whom will be selected for Richard screen tests Meanwhile Is touring e talent scout Quine In Denver the summer theaters Omaha Chicago and the East He and corecently Gloves” for directed "Leather Columbia tained I 'am — FiCtlOn ” after the daugh- ter of my close friend Tom Creighton when he so unexpect- edly passed away I Imagine you are quite a grown up young lady now though it is hard for me to visualize you in any other form than a girl In pigtails and short dresses—’’ Aaron Bell 34 looking 10 years younger abruptly ceased dictating and stared hard at his stenographer Miss Daniels by The stenographer name was small dark vivacious and exceedingly attractive She had come to work In the law office of Attorney Aaron Bell two weeks previous She was t capable girl yet for reason Aaron some unexplainable hadn’t been able to get used to her That is to say he felt nervous he wss dictating letters whenever ths next few days Daring Aaron began to get an inkling of why It was that be felt when dictating letters to Miss Daniels Be began te wonder if heretofore he hadn’t been attempting te evade an issue He asked himself secretly if te Mias Daniels wss becoming mean more te him than Just a secretary Aaron was DAYS LATER swept out of the realm of ecstasy (a state of mind brought about by his dinner date with Miss another letDaniels) by receiving ter from his ward "Dear Guardian: My boss Is really quite lovely and has been disan unusual a(rount of playing terest In me since my last letter I am not a little flattered by his atIn tention and very much thrilled fact I believe I could fall In love with him very easily” Aaron rang for Miss Daniels "Dear Temple: I demand that you resign from your present position at once It’s silly and absurd to think of a girl your age falling In with a man who love especially makes love to every stenographer he employs” a That night Aaron suggested drive through the country and was delighted when Miss Daniels accepted It was a beautiful June evecoolning with a full moon and a ing breezs blowing of! the ocean It might have been the atmospher TWO conditions which stirred to life romance that lurks slumbering within the breast of every man or It might have been the simple desire of a man for a mate At any rate Aaron took Miss Daniels In his arms and kissed her and whispered nonsensical things that somehow seemed to fit the occasion he found MORNING THE NEXT letter from Temple on his desk "Dear Creighton Guardian: I’m sorry but com mands and demands from folks like you don’t mean a thing when a girl is In love And your little Temple is certainly in love I expect she'll be proposed to in the near future” very Aaron busied for Miss Daniels "Dear Temple: This thing has gone far enough It’s a pity have been en yen couldn’t ic the with at least a fraction yoar father’s good sense It is try wish that yon Immediately send me the name and address of this boss of yours ahall write te him st once” Aaron had hoped that that night he would find himself courageous enough to offer a proposal of marYet when riage to Miss Daniels a gam they were seated on the cliff watching the moon come up out of ths ocean his courage failed he went to the office next morning to find a letter awaiting him from Temple Creighton “Dear Guardian: You wers right Ht isn't the man I thought he was Apparently he has just been amusing himself with no idea of asking me to marry him I do wish you’d talk to him His name is Aaron BelL Lovingly Temple” dowed of PUZllf ACROSg L Fruit of the palm 5 A prophet (Bib) TO 11 12 14 16 IT 18 Water cooler Wagon A merry frolic Test Set close together as the teeth Metallic rock Hawaiian bird City (Ont DOWN 1 School graduation document 2 Measure of land 2 Anger (dial) 4 Upright 6 Division of a play 6 Disfigure 7 Constellation 8 Begin 11 Large ladle 13 Sign of zodiae 15 Goblin roofing slate 20 Taken by 22 drunkard President of Argentina 36 Appearing a If eaten 35 Can) S E Arabia Obstacle Terror The whole range Humble Slat Exceeded an speed limit Toward Over (poet) Saiwii to Paula Me 1 mFALEWUR? TENNIS 1?HE NATIONAL LEAGUE HAS OFFICIALLY THE PLAYING OF THE 50NG THREE BLIND MICE? OF A THE UMPIRES AFTER southern California winning the: doubles championship it took them 135 GAMES TO BEAT ’fWOO’GONZALES THE SCORES WtRE 5TEWAI7T AND AND ThC MATCH 3 6 FIVE HOURS PLAVj SPORT LIGHT- Cards Rule the Roost Dodgers By GRANTLAND RICE to the genial boat of addressed golfers God bless high handicap ’em without them there would be no lush green fairways bordered with sky blue lakes and atately no healthful and beaupine trees tiful outdoors brought to your doorstep They are the majority "Frequently they or rather you busiplay with low handicappers and other friends ness associates and suffer mental anguish because you know they would prefer playYou are ing with better golfers definitely right but for an entirely different reason than you 80 low think Seventy and abooteri do not mind if you carve out a neat 103 but when you bother their game by not observing the simplest through rules they feel like crowning you — But 2 not with a niblick— and you do always observe them I trying V £ "A good golfer only wants to be 1 r i In the last eight to play his own game permitted only the Cuba undisturbed Hera are a few sugGranUand Rice years and Braveg have gestions: once each slipped through probnot "Do (1) delay the game Cardinals and ably when the This Is the most comma Dodgers were not looking Now we fanlt and this alone la get the same story in the steamy enough to ruin the concenyear of 1949 The Braves and Philtration of other members lies may be rated a chance but of your foursome or the bet is that either Dodgers (a) “Be In a position te Cardinals will take over the August and September stretch play whea It comes your turn Last spring It looked at if the (b) “Do not take a lot ef National League weald - have prepractice strokes Now much the better race ferably none with the Athletic and the Red (c) "Do net painstakingly Sox atill busy with Cleveland's play out a nlaee er Indians beginning to act in a other high score whea hostile manner again the AL ant yon are completely race may be much the better the contest ef Pick show up Others want to get It is about time the other six on with the game clubs in the National picked up (d) "Do not ask everyone more (team The crash of the in your foursome what Pirates was a heavy disappointclnb to bsc ment as much of a jolt as the "Be quiet motionless (2) sad downfall of the Red Sox was up look at the player addressiFourth The main through July tho ball anlfl be has ng idea seems to be that anything can played still happen in baseball duffers case (3) oat "Many their owa mistakes lead “Don’t Play Out A Nino” long and csnUnueosly Don’t do It Others are a number of golfers Apparently are getting much slower than they trying to concentrate sa their own gamo” were some time ago Just as we were trying to work arJot Surprises the following up a message an eminent rived from FAW There have been a flock of great around New York and golfer and also a hot rooter for ballplayers team Michigan’s football against Brooklyn in the last two days Their all comers The tongues as usual were busy This seems and to cover the field first topic was Jo DIMagglo his spectacular return to bis best completely— form with no chance t get in top "People love golf and I love peoso and ple today’s remarks are shape It seems h did LEAGUE Is a circuit where prac playing pennant tically all the lately has been by the Cardinals and the Dodgers Once in a rare while some Interloper such as the Braves of 1948 breaks into the picture But lor the greater part of the time it is the Cardinals and the Dodgers rolling together down the stretch Once they get Into the world series the Cardinals are a far difThe ferent team e Card have won a flock of such post- season pastorals while the Dodgers have yet to Come THE NATIONAL I J safely I “V HOW By Tom 27 Male duck 4L Tart 42 Treeless tract of land (Eng) 44 Employ 45 Little boy OtLXdrd - WHEELBARROW STUNT s Grccoay smoovaa IP INSTALL SINK STRAINER IN THE BOTTOM OP A WHEELBARROW THAT IS USED FOR CARRYING WASH YOU CAN VEGETABLES N THE THE PtUOVUCE RIGHT WHEELBARROW WITH A HOSE THE ALLOWING THE STRAINER WATER TO RUN THROUGH THE BOTTOM A YOU 0 38 39 40 Sliding boxlike compartment 43 Edible game fish 48 Seed of the oak 47 Bones DOBS YOUR DOG CHASE CARS? DOGS ONE WAY TO PREVENT CARS CHASING IS TO FROM A SMALL RUBBER BALL ATTACH TO ONE OP THE DOG'S FRONT THE 6ALL WILL PREVENT LEGS FAST THE DOG FROM RUNNING ACCIDENTS HAVE BEEN SERIOUS CARS CAUSED BY DOGS CHASING (anat) 48 Slay 49 Require 50 Whirlpool mouth Indefinite Article 22 River (Afr) 26 Food fish 28 Masurium (aym) 29 Completely SO A pricker 22 Marry 24 Habitual state 31 33 34 WSEK'S if- - Large 21 Independent 24 25 27 LAST ANSWER mxMMBse ana PUZZLE NO 11 |