| Show r v F - 'frj&dlhCopyright: liNOf BY" The clerk was He scarcely woke at all To say "The dog department Is Just across the hall!” DEATH Frills A leadplpe cinch Is harder to catch flea an Irishman’s when another girl wins Sometimes the victory and gets your sweetheart She has to Maggie you win anyhow wake up yet! To avoid sunstroke — er I beg your pardon— Have you bought your Christmas presents YET? Sometimes a country boy in the city gets so lonesome for home he would rather hear the old “jasack” to than go sing grand opera Money is like quicksand the more yon get into it the deeper you go A Chicago woman says blind girls make the best wives I suppose it Is because they cannot see through their than husbands Fasting Is bound to cure if the patient will hang on long enough to die Some people's ambitions are about as practical as a dog chasing his tail Is the sun trying to shine into your heart? Raise the curtains and give it a chance! always provides ample where his victims may purchase tickets to the Great Fire - i t Scene The average girl expects to get married every summer — until she f does " The Chicago waiter who slipped on a baked potato and swallowed a1 fork has been fired- If he’ had slipped on a banana peel and spilled a quart of Coup down the back’ of a fat woman's basque he still would be holding his It makes a difference down job' whose neck you spill things in Ch' icago' ' An r t:v INTO 8TREAM CHILD THROWN BRINGS RESCUE BY CRIES '"r AT MIDNIGHT Doggy' Thny called to get a license To wed Their hearts were full Her name was Flossie Biindie And hls'n it was Bull! Mephisto r "i by Byron William 1907: ' i$ i Irishman who fished continuously for' 49 years Is dead but the tories be left live after him forever If yoU want to be popular inherit a million dollars" i‘ troubles are the kind that make the hair gray Release your temper and lose hold your temper and win! ‘Take your INTENDED PROBABLY Meant Some One Evidently Boy to Drown but He le Taken to Hospital and Will ' Recover That’s to be yhow' Pipes up a St Louis newsand stole his gold no place for a newspaper carrying his money an- Footpads held paper reporter fteeth knan i - InA Brooklyn man shot at a black cat and winged an editor Gee this is getting to be a tough old world for editors!" VBA Nebraska newspaper advises its constituents to “hand your items to ear city editor at the Dawson County Bank”- The city editor Is in there Uonntlng his money I suppose By the death of an aunt Ham Robinson an Iowa editor has inherited a hotel Seems like this is as near Heaven as most editors can expect to attain’ t Our borne newspaper says “Hank Everly caught a black bass with a crawfish weighing five pounds” How much did the fish weigh? — I Grandpa Says: “Ef sum young men expended hall as much time and energy tryln’ t’ gil on in the world as they do endeavor In’ t’ put the pool ball lntew the cor ner pocket there would be a heat more worldly successes than failures “Somehow th’ terbacker !n my old pipe never tastes like the other fel ler’s smells” had a trigger on It “Ef a or a spadin' fork was equipped with a bobber some boys I know could not be restrained from workin’ themselves Into early graves” “E! every boy would put as much ginger intew his work as a pig does scratcbin bis back agin a board fence there would be fewer eeds In this here garden” “Ef sum men that seem t’ want t’ do had t’ hatch nuthin’- but sit ’round eggs they couldn’t be hired to sit still at union wages" — CRUSHED THEM-A- Wealth Impressed of Farmere on IP Peterson’s fFurniture and At a sale of fancy farm stock in Lawson W Massachusetts Thomas ’was one of the foreign buyers in attendance ' He went in his private car with private secretary chef valet ' I ‘ ? I "A etc also he took up a private stock car specially fitted up for transporting B": whatever choice animals he might UP PIG ELEPHANT TIES I ' a buy Mr Lawson's coming had been well Is headquarter for Furniture and House Furnishings CARS IN JERSEjf CITY advertised and farmere came from for Housekeeping and Comfort for Young and everyth'ng far and wide to have a eight of him Old My line la up to 'date and my pricee are right The fair grounds were io crowded that THOUSAND POUND JUMBO THREE many men' and boy were unable to CHASES GIRLS AND 8TEAL Annex eomprlees a fine line of 8teel Ranges and they rooeted on My Hardware gain admission CIGARS' 1 ' r trees surrounding'tha grounds so they lritchen fittings and genera! hardware ! could peer over the high board fence Jersey City N J— Jumbo a mon- at Mr Lawson strous elephant the other morning ' The financier was an active bidder tied up trolley linen 20 minutes- and After a time a local farmer put 'up before it submitted to being loaded on for sale a heifer He had — a freight car terrorized lower Mont- originally paid $200 for the animal ’ i i t r? gomery street sent a cigar dealer dobut she had not turned out quite as he ing hurdles over bis cases and also had anticipated so he did not expect to realize more than that amount foi ' her if so much at Some one started the bidding itJ) $150 Mr Lawson promptly and loudHe was met with $166 ly bid $160 which he raised to $175 Thia was Whereat Mr” Lawson again Tsised’ In an impresseemed much annoyed sive manner he bid $180 and looked ' h haughtily around as if to indicate that Wholesale and Retail Dealer in Fresh and so presuming yokel should again defy the man of wrath However an unGroceries Potatoes Salt Meats Hay Grain abashed farmer' ventured $200 and others followed until the figure stood and General Supplie at $225 Then a daring soul said $235 There war an awful pausd while hi! towArd Mr eyes turned expectantly Lawson Rising majestically Mr c Lawson rohred out “Six hundred Aol lars!” and with an awful crash every man and boy perched on the surround Those who trade with us are sure ing trees fell to the ground stunned full value for value received by the power of wealth “ — - — A Seductive Noise F Augustus' Heinze’ in the course r! fcrtl of a dinner on board bis yacht Revomtrrf t "W r lution sal(f ef a certain mooted 'minok-reforms t ing The Sat Dows Elephant f’Oh yes it would be a good thing Tracks' if it could Be done but there is no it possible way to do it Ask these re d t ii' l sent typewriter girls and matrons' doformers how they are going to put ing the hop Bkip and a jump into of- their ideas In' operation and they gtv fice buildings you answers that are about as pracTHE BEST PAPER IN The elephant was led from a float tical little 'boy's method ot of the Long Island Railroad company coaching the mule r TELLS ALL THE and was pushed along the Pennsyl UTAR “There was once you know a muls vanla railroad yards until it reached in a large field that refused to be ' NEWS ' EVERY DAY the pier off Exchange place owner Round and caught by itsJohn Murphy the ‘ elephant's keep- round the field! the" mule galloped er left it for a moment John O’Hara The owner tore aibng behind red and and John Foster were two clerks angry swinging a halter in his hand handling waybills when O’Hara felt a and swearing passionately soft touch around the region of his "The mule would’ lbt Mm draw very ear O'Hara turned about and looked near 'almost near enough- to "throw ’ ' ! e 'Lt-!w 'i'J x J3 straight into two eyes that peeked the halter over- its bead then il A YEAR A M out from 3000 pounds of elephant t would kick up its lfegs merrily and : ii :v'T r pi O’Hara made two jumpsOne took run like the wind! him over his desk and the other “A boy his face wreathed In smiles through the office window and landed watched the unequal chase for an him sash and all on the pier Foster hour or so Then he entered the field was a close second and said: The elephant then lumbered Into '“I'll tell you how t catch that it i i ' Exchange if youlll! give me a place and sat down on the mule mister In ten minutes the nickel’"- trolley tracks street was jammed by stalled trolley - “ 'All right panted the man ‘Here’s cars and nearly 800 persons The po- your nickel Now tell’ me E W CRANE Treasurer C ICORUP President P 6 SCORUP Secretary lice reserves were called out and re‘“Get behind! the thick hedge over CANDLAND Director T ' A N CASTRO P enforced by a score of longshoremen there' said the boy ’and make a armed with bale hooks they moved noise like a carrot’ ’’—Boston Globe on the elegant The efforts to disInsects of tha World a i lodge the beast however were una'c-i a Some Insects lay eggs at the rate until It elected to go elseon MawurACTurtin availing or 80000) a day and of 60 a minute which it did after the policewhere from the egg to full maturity of ths had retired men and longshoremen n t i i occupies young Insect only a few wind broken and muscle sore AD DA FURNISH AND ALSO HIQHBAT Insects-- constitute- by far the hours the elephant With much dignity on creatures of living group all fours on largest and presently got up IN TH RATS LOWCSTAT TH ST AT teetered around to a cigar store at I the globe The most conservative es end will endeavor to satisfy’ ell ear pal rone His advance war tlmate places the number of species We solicit your patronage Montgomery street ' ‘ the signal for the hasty departure o) alone at 5000000 They feed on every a crowd of stenographers and shop part ot every- plant' that grows and into the nearby also upom dead plant tissue In every girls who scrambled They win even eat stage of decay office buildings They prey upon all forme After the elephant had “mooched” t Boil: mould Medical Training for Character ' of animal life devour not only living box of cigars from a show case at No As a school of character it is doubtmeat but dead! and' putrid flesh All ful If any bettef could be devised than 3 its trainer’ appeared Wbereupor VIVIAN BURNS substances excrementltlousare dainshelved Its the beast playfulness the routine career Of a medical stuties to them and! no fabric is too dry dent It is not claimed that every threw away the cigars and followed HARNESS SHOP ton tbsltt- taste medical student at the end of his its master back to the freight yards will be found to have curriculum SoIIno Utah ' become a saint But if he has not dea ' The Life ef Wiadom Lnoujjh and to Spare veloped manly qualities of Hand made harness a specialty “And the name is to be”— asked the The Dfe of wisdom is that in which courage gentleness and forSaddles suave minister as he approached the we grow deaf to all other voices for bearance it is not for want of opporbuggy and spiing font with the precious armful of fat the sake of one voice whose lightest tunity of practicing these virtues wagon neck yokes horse blanand floqnces kets and all things in the har“Augustus Philip Ferdi- word of guidance or approval fills the o — nand Codrlngton Chesterfield Livings soul with jpy - It is that in which ness and saddlery line: Women and Elevator Service: ton SnookB” "Dear me!” Turning to God is the central fact and peace A man who has a faculty for statls- the sexton:' “A little more water Mr pervades It more and more as he I have an tics has made out a statement to the specif you please” — Perkins more and more to us grows ' ial line of the best whips each effect that it takes twice as tong to — 1— one guaranteed- gentsf worktransport women in elevators as men because A Tip to Legislators they take longer to get off and riding gloves and a Looking to the Future ing income? on and on the and he says on that account Why “What? A tax ' Daughter — Say Small guaranteed line of gall cures when we go to heaven shall we sit on R already is- in force— the tip”— the elevator service is slower where Tales women are carried up and down— Chitor Translated the clouds or Just on the blue sky?— Come and See me ' VS V cago Dally News from Le Rire’ Blatter Meggendorfer thrown away with the baby At the hospital It was said the boy He is a handsome little fel will live low The only hurt he received in his extraordinary experience was a Blight bruise- Store Annex ardware Why don’t you paint that house? Try S W P ' None so good P F Paterson Salina Utah Salina Meat & Supply Company ?XXXXXXXX A foods '"":s of the best quality links in and fancy staple SALINA UTAH - The Salt Lake Jerald $1000 il (SUBSCRIBE TODAY nearboem reading: Tn the' rows of tented The “PLEASE REMIT” Just makes me rave! Oh how can poets e’er grow fat Or cut their curling locks or shave And tote a mastodon like that! of 85 cents incidental called Recently I wrote a "The Army of the Corn” Several daily newspapers of large circulation did me the honor to reproduce it My hat was beginning to touch my hbhd all the way this morn-ing There Is a line In the aforesaid soldiers— In th army of tbs corn!” t rrf It ‘was the last Tine and the climax AU Omaha newspaper (Accept my thanks) printed the poem but instead of referring to the “tented soldiers ” the proofreader let ’er go: "Is the rows of 'tangled' soldiers” etc — which is evidence enough in my mind that too great proximity to corn eteA In a poem is a bad thing for soldiers — and proofreaders — V! s 5100 Alas! The world is hard and chill Is the glowing distant Far goal— this Again I get pesky bill: "Twelve tons of “LEFT Power ' San Francisco — Over in the Orange Memorial hospital Is a baby boy rescued by his own energetic cries of a from a flat rock In the middle small mountain stream where he had The been thrown in the night to die child was found by Ernest Williams who live on Orand Frank Markwlth ange mountain just back of West Orange before daylight one day recently The men were walking up the hillwhen side near they Valley Way heard a wail that might have been made by a wildcat' They each got a good strong club and started’ toward the location of the sound But the hills and gulches tricked them and it was a tong time before they came near the the cries issued At spot whence length they reached a point about 20 feet above the brook and waited ” “It’s a baby” said Williams “It might be a bear— or— panther” Markwlth argued' venThey waited a moment before turing down the precipice then clubs in hand climbed to the edge of the water All the while the frantic cries came forth - Lighting a match the two men were horrified to see in the dim light ten feet out in the stream a child lying half in the water on a rock They wasted no time but waded out and got the little fellow The water around the stone was about three feet deep It was evident to the men that some person had stood on the hillside above the stream and cast the child down- - choice - -- dressed" Wttb““other8Wtmam''nd went to the scene qf theii Markwlth discovery the next day and on the bank they found a number of Infants garments which apparently had been E Lying Half In the Water r ward to supposed death There was only one rock near in the water which could hare held the baby off the bottom and that he found safe lodgment on this solitary place of safety impressed the men as something next to mlraculone They ran nearly all the way to the hospital with their strange find wrapThe ping it up warmly in their coats nurses and doctors gasped whet they heard the story and declared the babe would get the finest treatment the ' hospital had to give The child’s clothes were It was fully and of good material A Child Preserving Foodstuffs Fish shown at Paris in '1900 had been preserved in nitrogen for seven years Oranges pears grapes cherleg etc are now being packed in paboxes per containing nitrogen and he exclusion of oxygen seems to keep he fruit from decay for an indefinite ' time Some Reward She Deserves In Hope certainly springs eternal the breast of the maiden of 42 summers who continues to glance over her Halloween on shoulder at the mirror MMo ibs Satina Light ?(® Mitt ' ELECTRIC LIGHTS G’ LORENTZBN manager J JPG ANirorPAO rj tit) I ji U at tcJ 7 If you juve Headache Try One’ FOR Neuralgia Sciatica! Rheumatism Backache Fain inchest Distress in stomach i : pi esshe ss Co Tip Top Flour1 Germadei 'Graham Flour They Relieve JPain Quickly leaving no s bad After-effect- 25 Doses ’ 25 Cents Never Sold in ’Bulls WpmmwVmn mh |
