Show v 29 UNCLE JACOB’S BIRTHDAY i I r f the formation of rocks and minerals Our dwellings and uteninto sils absorb much water Hugh Miller admits that the sea has stood twenty feet higher round our coast The Black Sea has long been an object of interest in consequence of its continued subsidence The Dnieper rolls with a smaller volume The mouth of the Nile is becoming shallower The coast area of the Baltic is receding The Niagara is occupying a lower bed Nature’s labrato'ry causes matter to form other structures but matter neither increases nor di- minishes " LANGUAGE Fluency of Speech— Flu- ency of speech in most men and most women is owing to a scarcity of matter together with a scarcity of words for whoever is master of language and has a mind full of ideas will be apt in speaking to hesitate upon the choice of both whereas common speakers have only one set of words to clothe them in and these are always ready in the mouth So people come faster out of church where it is almost empty than wiiere a crowd is at the door — Dean Swift Effect of Eloquence — Our imagination loves to be filled with an object or to grasp at anything that is too big for its capaci- ty We are flung into a pleasing astonishment at such unbounded views and feel a delightful stillness and amazement in the soul — Addison Its Use and Abuse— Reason Eloquence and every Art which ever has been studied among mankind may be abused and may prove dangerous in the hands of bad men but it were perfectly childish to contend that upon this account they ought to be abolished Give truth and virtue the same arms which you give vice and falsehood — Blair' The True Orator — This certainly is the general rule that an Orator shguld not put forth all his strength at the beginning but should rise and grow upon us as his discourse advances t He does not lavish at a blaze his fire Sudden to glare and then in smoke expire But rises from a cloud of smoke to light And pours his specious miracles to sight Francis UNCLE JACOB’S A STORY BIRTHDAY: FOUNDED UPON THE FACTS OF REAL LIFE CHAPTER IY HOW THE BASKET OF FRUIT CONVULSED THE GILDER Rap rap rap at the wealthy gilder’s door but wealthy Gilder is lost in his rehersal of the Elephant Rap rap rap and still h(y is coming out in long metre' Rap rap rap and there are none of the Gilder’s gold-lea- f boys at home to let in the boy with the basket of fruit But what could stand in the way of a Salt Lake urchin determined to carry his points ? The boy made - his entree by leaping in at the open window The Gilder had just reached a passage in his extravaganza much resembling a prize calf profusely adorned with flying ribbons and rosettes Here was a capital place for a tableau and the sprite of one had just leapt in startling the principal character WTho run towards the boy and the hoy confused by his novel entree and situation bobbed between the Gilder’s legs upsetting him thus illustrating how a little thing may throw a great man off his “ pins” ' The tableau being over and the Gilder himself again the boy presented the basket of fruit grown upon the bench in the Twentieth Ward and then came the terrific and virtuous indignation of the wealthy Gilder in which he imitated the style of his gold-lea- f boy extraordinary “I eat peaches apples plums and grapes from the nasty Benchey ? you imp or from my trunk I’ll drench ’ee" “ Begone At this the boy went through an elegant hand and nose pantomime immortalized in old Europe chased by the Gilder around the room The boy at last screened himself under the table from which he peeped in fearful terror and the wealthy Gilder having recovered breath continued : “Revenge! revenge! and this to me the Ele pliant-e- “ Oh you little imp jist let me but once get at ’ee “ Ah ! now come down and aid a great man mighty Jovey “Throw down tby thunderbolts jist now there’s a dear old covey “Avenge me thus— and thus! Ha! I hit his basket then “My palace kivered all over with gold-lea- f for my shoes agen” In an ecstacy of vengeance anjl virtuous indignation against the basket of fruit hehad taken off his shoes and thrown them at the provoking boy under the table No one being there to bring him his shoes the Gilder threw himself upon the floor and gave to his emo tions a variety of physical expressions First he turned three somersaults then stood upon his head next coiled himself like a rope expressive of writhing horror and afterwards he put his legs dexterously around his neck as though he would sooth himself with affectionate arms Just at this nick his gold-leboy extraordinary made his entree and the company formed a powerful tableau The Gilder did the sentimental and went into “ liighstrikes” ’ and gold-leboy extraordinary caught him in his arms with the most striking dramatic effect and extravaganza coloring Evidently the boy extra- V if t '' t a - i ‘ ! af a U V ordinary had hamateured it considerably before The saucy rascal with the fruit basket leapt upon the window-sil- l and surveyed the scene The tableau would have been more complete with blue and red lights hut as much of it was impromtu it had to close contented with the spontaneous combus- tion of a box of lucifer matches CHAPTER V M H Vf - k' UNCLE JACOB’S PRESENTIMENT FULFILLED Back with us to Uncle Jacob’s and reach his house just at the moment the boy with the unfortunate basket of fruit rushed in and threw the company into terrific excitement by the latest and most wonderful news described in our last chapter They unanimously declared that it beat all former events of Uncle Jacob’s birthdays but Uncle Jacob’s emotions were inexpressible The company clamored for a great moral speech befitting the occasion One declared that it was an awfully great opportunity for the most moralest of great speech- es and another pionounced the event to be the most miraculousest of miracles he had ever heard of Uncle Jacob moved by the entreaties of his friends attempted to get upon his legs to make a speech but the conversion of the Gilder on his birthday had entirely taken the stiffness out of said legs After three very much unsuccessful attempts to make a great moral speech like Addison before him he gave it up that is to say lie sat down But his emotions were too volcanic for peace so gathering up all his remaining strength and fortitude he staggered under the weight of the blow— the moral blow— which he had received and upset the table iu his determination to reach the cupboard He reached it ! He opened it ! Ho took from it a mysterious looking medicine bottle ! On this mysterious medicine bottle ' was a mysterious label and oij this r 11 :! i |