Show T ZEE m 0 0 A Scmi-BXonth- ly Paper Devoted' to Cents SALT LAKE CITY VOL 2 Scents Sense and Nonsense FEBRUARY PAY BEPAKTMEST 15 Nl 24 11)71 ’H'A'-aiSXOT- ‘ Legal Jjiiminary (Joq)— ‘Mr Grant allow us to present you with our little bill of expenses officers out ami attending to their business for them personally ourselves in Utah Territory” Mr G — “Can’t see L L — “W — Why— isn!t it large enough?” for runuing the Territorial it” Mr G makes a masonic sign with his hand by placing his dexter thumb against the point of his nasal organ and gently twiddling his fingers — Singular effect on the other party TooiltOutluTrmie “Well pay it then” said the proprieSkip Tills tor Among the many anecdotes of Buena fellow entered a A “I ain’t got any money” Vista one beats all others: An Arkansas restaurant and ordered a double stew “Hain’t got any money” repeated the soldier wounded asked an Irishman to of oysters The man who kept the res- man of refreshment The latter aid so help him off the field individtaurant was a small “Not a darned cent” by enabling him to mount his horse riding He ual evidently very high tempered The himself before man opened his eyes During the ride the poor Down-ea- lathy-lookin- g st red-head- prepared the stew in quick time and the lathy individual sat down to his repast and ate with enviable relish after which he selected a cigar regaled a mug of foaming ale sitting with his feet lifted upon the top of the stove He was very deliberate and perAlter the cigar had fectly almost disappeared in smoke he called for his bill cents” said the proprietor “Sixty-fiv- e “How is this?” asked the lath “Fifty cents for the double stew and fifteen cents for the cigar “You forgot the ale” remarked the lathy fellow looking quite serious “Ah yes that is ten cents — seventy-fiv- e first-cla- “Then how do you expect to pay your bill?” “Well I’ll tell — I’ll stand about seventy-five cents worth of your jaw — so go ahead” The man was the maddest individual ever seen He seized the nutcracker and let fly at the offender with a will but it only hit the chair-bac- k and broke its own handle The lathy fellow had gone He vacated his chair at the nick of time and the last seen of him he was walking very leisurely down the street finishing his red-head- Arkansasman had his head shot off unknown to his companion Arriving at the doctor’s quarters the Irishman was asked what he wanted “Brought this man to have his leg dressed” said he “Why” replied the doctor “his head off!” “The bloody liar!” exclaimed Mike looking behind him “he told me he was is only shot in the leg” - My lovin wife: Ime cominome nex week and Lav forgivyou ferjawin me lie come on the 7 o’clock trane and shall cigar stay ome hereafter and try to be an alterSome thieves at Waverly N J went-int- ed man I want peese and so do yew a man’s field to steal cabbages and why shouldn’t we luv each utheras we used cents” carried away a charge of buckshot con- ter when we first “Well I’m ready to pay it” jined together in the cealed about their which he wholly bands of madlock ive jined a tempersons The man made no reply thought considerable of He wants them perance society but if yew ever jaw me and the fellow made no reply to return shot the and no questions will agin for comin ome I’ll wallop yew like “I tell you I am ready to pay the bill” be asked 6ty fur we must have peese as grant ses” ’ |