Show THE KEEPAPITCHININ iWUMtMt WM§— IMMMMIHMINIHMNHNMNINI THE MINER'S DREAM while we write and our soul sickens as fte contemplate the fearful details Death in any form at any time is horTrollop rible but at the bare thought of being I dreamt that I dwelt in a Tlntic mine buried olive the soul shrinks back in deadly With rubies and pearls by my side And the granite boulders were bubbling terror and humanity stands aghast while a shudder runs through the teeming ore And my ledges were deep and wide '' millions of earth’s unborn children — KEEPAPITCHININ: T V‘ —— — — — ' A SEMI MONTHLY “Over of thee I’m loudly dreaming PAPER Devoted to Cents Scents Sense and Nonsense UNO HOO Principal Editor Deputy Asst EditorUBET URLIFE Dep'y Asst's Clerk TERM S: Per Annum in Six Months Single Copies Advance- B I Z Ness - I had thousands of wagoners hauling the $150 gold 100 Pure slabs that were twenty feet thick And each man each day for his wage re-- j 10 CLUB RATES: ceived Five Copies to one address $ 500 Ten Copies to One Address and one to the clubber 1000 In guerdon a golden brick I For sale by all respectable Newsdealer everywhere gems And millions of tons of gold And in sumptuous purple I sateachday And dined and supped aud rolled ADVERTISEMENTS Owing to the limited space devoted to Adver Using we ha 11 be under the necessity of restrict ing Advertisements to TEN lines or iess had thousands of bushels of precious later: Since writing the above we learn that the burying alluded to was merely a strawberrying and that the buried victims were merely strav berried this accounts for the bloated appearance of the bodies We suppose Shakespear was thinking of such a burial when he wrote “Men women and children in one red burial blent” When we read of such a berrying we always feel like singing : The kings of the earth came bending “Oh bury me not in the deep deep sea” then NOT CHASED (For their kingdoms I bought and sold) exclaimed in whisper of fear and AU Communications on Business in order And Some lady wishes to know whether our awe to receive attention must be address d— UNO In reply we That “the half they had not been told? paper is strictly chaste Hoo & Co Box D Salt Lake City would say that if our paper is not chased My railway lines ran around the earth our carriers are and Dwyer is also chaste My ships were on every sea he is perhaps more Chased when our paper Whiie three hundred millions of stalwart comes ont than at any other time men Whenever you see Dwyer running up the All labored and toiled for me street you may know that our paper is out Twelve fiery steeds drew a golden car ' and that he is chaste— That glittered with precious gems hence-1 NEWS OF THE WEAK everybody should enjoy this fourth And the carriage lamps were diamond fourth and forever as they have no busi- globes It becomes our painful duty to announce ness to distract their attention ' The 4th I And were mounted on golden stems that another of tie quorum of Bachelors comes around with surprising regularity L cut off in the °'c?ard wa? loaded "Ith golden fruit- - has fallen by the about the same time each year As there w ne’ his strength of pride g° may be inlmduals who do not know A d°th whole of my glittering golden “Oh! 8'acnel away la beauty's bloom” how the 4th originated we would say that “With al his i in perfections on his head” wealth it is the day on which the Declaration of drew from the Tintio mine It is truly painful to see one who has Independence is read We would suggest borne the heat and burden of the day— 1 to the City Fathers the propriety of read-- 1 Much more dreamed in a similar strain lDe As I rolled on my golden bed ing the Declaration of Independence this But at I from woke length my dreamy 811n8 ani arrows of outrageous benedict” 4th as there may be parties present from thus nipped in the bud spell the Eastern States who have not heard To find that my gold was lead Br Giulimo Donnizetti De Gonzaga it We would also have Capt Croxall’s Santissima Sangiovanni De La Rossetti Brass Band out at an early hour and let done HORRIBLE OH ACCIDENT Har? SECQN0 Mf B Major Ladd fire off the militaiy artillery wf 4 37 and seconds minutes past 4 precisely occasionally to keep the people awake so m June 21st A D 1870 did We p that they can hear the music It would Br G G R S at the time be a good idea to have flags up in various One Hand red Souls of Doth Sexes and not see the fatal knot was tied but can judge All Agee Da rled Alive parts of the city If there is one thing he must have passed through from what we dote on more than another it s flags his limp appearance on the following day We would have all the public buildings Unless the cake comes forth promptly in flagged and would not object to having slices with wine to correspond we large sidewalks Our the flagged spirit never shall charge the usual 50 cts a line for flags when writing upon this subject We this notice think of Washington crossing the Helles-- 1 Cadaverous and Bloated Appearance pont and of the bloody feets at Valley Beware of Him — A suspicious-lookin- g Forge and Shiloh and Trafalgar and character lodged at the house of one almost wish that such patriots as Kragin It becomes our painful duty to record of our numerous compos a few nisrhts ago and Kullom could have enjoyed these op- one of the most sanguinary and heart-- 1 and lied around the next day saying that portunities for a display of their rending occurrences ever chronicled in he had only had “the canopy of (h) Evans the annals of time Our hand trembles! for a covering” patriotism I way-side- T” j I 9 ‘ I |