Show THE KEEP A P I T G H I N I N 14 t u The next figure is 8 that reminds us forcibly of the cjuestioffput by the Irishman to his loving spouse said he: “What the pjtaty pud- time is itj 8” shesaid (ate) dmg?”“Its The next figure on the list is 7 andit reminds” us of our 7 senses seeing hear ings smelling tasting 'feeling and— our back rubbed with a brick The last figure is nothing to nobody and a very obstinate figure it is " If you take nothing from it it being itself noYet it fills thing still nothing remains an important position in the world of figures: and we couldn’t figure nothing with-oit It is what you might call a relasome two legged tive It don’t pan out figures on its relations worth a pent unless it is su ppqrtedrand v pushed ahead by some other figure Now we hatp vie wed the figures singly suppose !we examine their significance in KEEPAPITCIIININ: THE ic aI paper semi-month- Devoted to' Cents Scents' Sense and Nonsense Principal UN O IIOO UBET URLIFE B I Z Ness E ditor Deputy Asst Editor Dep’Yr Asst's Clerk TERMS: Per Annum in Advance Six Months Single Copies - CLUB R A TE 1 Ten Copies to One Address Vv 4ST For sale by all respectable Newsdealers V everywhere ut AdverOwing to the limited space ‘devoted tising we shall be under the necessity of restrict ing Advertisements to P IY E HnesiOrdess Terms each insertion fifty cents a line vr SN si All Communications on Business inbrder JKtF“ to receive attention Hoo & Co Box D Salt Lake City 15 v 1870' v v H'Grrn i r Gentle Reader:: ! ': entitlediqYoteiwC::’" i 77 :rv :- bloy-hard- i- v7 07 ! hurled headlong' into the mighty labyss of futurity never to be recalled arid when wo realize that time? is noneyf whafcji fearful thing to contemplate! Though the - mutations of providence areiqscrutiblc yetcoming events!cast their shadow before to a certain extent and we are all posted beforehand as to the greatnessj of' the year’ we live in 1370 Now we knew that 1870 was to be a great year but we did !not like thousands of i !T our subscribers know exactly in what res- But having set our powerfifi 'intelpect that lect: at’ work fwe soon ascertained' tl 1$7P was greqt ih figures— look at them — 1870— did you eyer see such a combination of figures representing a year in which you lived before? We think not 7 and furthermore you never will Letfus examine them: the first figure represents the year l We don’t personally je member much about this year we were too young but Jloses 'recollects Adam being set up against the fence to dry that year which is’ quite unimportant event in history and should not be 7 7 fofgottep J ‘ j i CAUTION The citizens of this city are advised to keep in doors for a few days yet as we understand that wolverine which escaped from the menagerie is still at large NARROW ESCAPE A gentleman coming down on the Utah Central incautiously thrusting his head out of the window had his hat taken off his head and carried by the wind beneath tthe wheels of the c&rs where it was shockingly mangledTIIe informs us however that no lives Avereg&fc which under the cirpumstances’ may rbiy considered quite providential NOTICE shall be very busy for a few days paying' off our hands we' would request As - we uur numerous friends to cease calling til we have a little more leisure un-- : v A VWhenthis line grectsyour longing ley several seconds pi time will have been ! The last pair 70 represents the full age score and ten which we read about "and one 7pair just balances the other shoeing conclusively that it’s s about iiipand tuck be tween The old and lhe weaker vessel (Our devil says if the light fantastic toe business is any criterion he thinks the weaker vessel alittle the stoutest ) yiewed in all ’its bearings we consider 1870 a truly great year— great things have The U P R R transpired this year is completedtheSucz canal is finished the UtahjContral is running that wolverine is also running! But tper haps the strangest event of the year is! the fact that our pdpfcr is still ruhping! v " Altogether’ events havelecomosp interesting that thorSunlhas moved about four or five million miles nearer ip order of n i'lli ' juvm an when our weaker become of age and: are consequently ves-se- ls EDXTOXUAXi Vv 18— another very — the exact number The first pair is must be addressed— Uno APRIL x ike advertisements'’to V OF COURSE IT CAN’T One of the leaders of the “Move” at a recent meeting quoted the words of Paul — “The head cannot say to the feet I have no need of thee” This we presume is one of the liberal comprehensive and advanced truths of the “broad platform” in the knowledge of which “thousands will yet rejoice” ' view of things to get’ a good T °4 I ' t“f ' ' ' NEW LIGHTS FOR THE CITY v f We learn that the City Fathers design pulling down the recently! erected lamp-posand substituting a few personages kii of the New Move ' i That’s as it should be The people ro- quire light and while there isso niuch of it in the Movement why not utilize jt? This new gas docs riot equal the old in brilliancy but this is made up in quantity The supply onfchand is said to be sufficiently abundant (having been manufactured extensively t the Assembly Rdoms last at least six moriths recently)-tts 1 ' f - r - i i t I ' j DOCTOR McBRIDE i ORGANIZATION ' ' ' We understand he is:no relation Miss McBride” who’ was— “Proud the of that'the informed Organ are We : ' Ward “Proud of her eauty “New Move” vwas once ther13th her of And of the convinced prido' proud Organ— that it 'became: a hundred matters beside error of its way soon after its proprietor And proud of and everybody on Ho cures everything and that Move’’ “New inaugurated the Somor principle Lemmons immediately conveyed it away the of two dried and ham ‘a cured pieces call the body in his job wagon This we may shed—a' liberal reour meat that iq hung learn to Wo aro Act pleased Organic information that will that the “N M” is organized although ward will be paid for to its recovery or the apprehension lead it tries in vain to get a head of the thieves ' ' ' : ! rtouch-and-sme- ‘ m |