| Show T KE E E H-E 04 THEVISION THAT JOHN SAW Tune — “Vilkiris andbis Dinah” There was a rich merchant in this city did dwell He had a great vision—he saw quite a I spell His name is well known he’s scarce fifty : years old'With a very laige fortune ' of greenbacks ‘ and gold r : 'ft Ir ININ T C H Chorus — Singing Riooral Riooral Riooral ritooral liooral liooral liooral liooral lioorallalla lioorallalla lioorallalla lioorallalla " This merchant was snoozing the moments - away- S'-- When Feter came to him'andifius he did 1 I yj say Go dress yourself straightway mgorgeous ' - - t sj array And I’ll furnish your suckers for njitny a day Cho— SingingRitoorallitooralj&c Oho! Mister PeteiV ddyou'tbirik-I-a- — " -- ’ ‘ m v V’ t blind? And‘ tosay that you’re PeterJlm not yet V "JosiiBil lings sehds ithe following i oeHned wi J humerous essay which though our paper I’d Oh! all my large fortune gladly give frivolous not is o er adapted for such properly r t q y 'I rp i rr '(f'fnofi m atter we publish To the genuine Peter who flourished for the encouragement yore of the writer T L'J M Cho — Singing Ritooral liooral &c : ' Un THE HORNET You doubting Adidymus then have your jwish it la And immediately he produced :very hornet is a inflanuble bugkd-- j l‘!“ long string of ‘fish: his Aha! said the merchant1 one tost more to denlyin his impreshnns arid hasty: in end f v votiJ ‘prove Just give me your opinion about the New t Move-:- ’ o jo :J Ritooral tv litooral Cno— Singipg j his head gravely hud solemn-- ly said “You will know more of this when it comes to ahead” Let’s leavo this grave subject the merchant replied For I’ve got some good brandy I’m sure you’ve not tried Cho— Singing Ritooral litooral £c f &c shook 'Peter t Then they seated themselves side by side on the floor And he bought all the fishes and bargained for more Then John said to Peter said he take — my word ' This thing wouldn’t have happened if it : hadn’t occurred a ’ij : ’ 11 mHimimimuikMau nefarious occupation go on the landing arid ask: them if they know what they’re about 17 If they ddnt desist now make your wife tell them that in your opinion they are wicked men arid that you have a great mind to be very:angry 181 Say you are very dangerous when you are once roused 9 Beg them to leave quietly and so obviate the necessity of a disturbance in the house Ask thepa if they wouldn’t like 10 some cold meat and pickles and a glass of beer and a pipe 11do -' Let them hate what they like what they like 'and giVri them a dollar eacl besides:- : When they ve gone bring out your pistols and send for a policeman 12 ' Go to bed again arid say that the only reason why you didn’t go down stairs at tirst' puhch hll their heads shoot mahdtaket'tlriprisopers was' that yoif did ri t wan t to disturb the neighbors 1 - i: A'l-'- tt - ' : i - you see a sad sinner who’s ready to sink the spirit won’t enter him ask him to drink Then they emptied the bottle a thousand times o’ er !'!! And said Peter I only wish I had (hie) If If ' ' ' ‘i : came here before t HOW ' TO "ACT IN EVENT BUllGLARY : : OF r Lie very still and draw the bedclothes over your herid f7 2 t Sit up and listen R 3 Finch your wife and tell her she oueht to be ashamed of herself 4Tell her togq down stairs and see what’s the matter rf 5 Call out fqri the servants to order the robbers off the premises 6 If the burglars still persist in their 1 : I conclusion or His natural disposishion iz a ’warm cross between red pepper in thepqdland fusil oil and hiz moral bias iz?‘gitbiit way’’ ir They have:a long black boddy divided in the middle by a waist spot but their phisikal im pqrtance lays at the terminus of their sobm b in the shape of a javelin This javelin is alwaz loaded and stans reddy to Unload at a minit’s warning and enters a manias still az thought as spry az litening and as full oy melancholy az : the toothake Hornets never argy a case they settle awl of their differences ov opinyon by letting their javelin fly and az certain to hit az a mule iz This testy kritter lives in congregations numbering about one hundred souls but whether they are male ov female or conservative or matched in bonds ov wedlock or whether they are Mormons and a good many ov them kling together and keep one7 husband to save expenses dou t know nor don’t kare I never hav examined their habits much I neverkonsidered it healthy Hornets bild their mest wherever they take a nosbun to and seldom are disturbed for what would it profit a man to kill 99 hornets and hav the rv! one hit him with ibis javelin? mp hi v It ia very i simple to imake ar hornet’s nest if you kan but I will wager enny man 300 dollars he kant bild one that he could sell to a hornet for halt priced j n 1 Hornets are az bizzy as their second couzziris the bee but what they are about the Lord only knows they don’t lay up any huney nor enny money they seem to be bizzy only jist for the sake ov working x ' bv-m- i : £ : all the time they are alwus in az much ov a hurry as tho they was going for a dok-t- I suppose this uneasy world would onst in 42 grind around on its axle-tre- e hours even ef there want enny hornets hut hornets must be good for sumthing but I can’t think now what it iz Thare hain’t been a bug made yet in vain nor one that warn’t a good job thare is ever lots ov human men loafing around blacksmith shops and cider mills all over the country that don’t seem to be necessary for any thing but to beg plug tobacco and swear and steal watermelons but yulet the cholera break out once and then yu will see the wisdom of having just sich men laying around they help count Nex to the cockroach who stans tew the head the hornet has got the most wast stummock in reference to the rest n of his body than any of the insec and there is another mystery what on rth duz a hornet want so much : reserved corps for? I have jist thought— tew carry his javelin in: thus you see the more we discover about thing the more we are apt to know ' ! ' i t i ' Tt ismwaya good purchase tew pay out our last surviving dollar for wisdom and wisdom is like the misterious hen’s egg it aint laid inyurehand but is laid away under the barn and yu hav got to sarchior it Hornets are I kant state jist how long their lives are hut I know from instinct and observation than enny fainter be He bug or be he 'devil who iz mad all the timer and stings every good chance he can get generally outlives all ' his nabers The only good way to get at the exact fiteing weight ov the hornet is tew tutch him let him hit you once with his javelin and you will be willing to testify in court d that sumbody run a pitchfork into yer and az for grit I will state for the information ov those who haven’t n had a chance tew lay ia their vermin as freely as I hav that one single hornet who feels well will break up a large cam p meeting popu-lashu- - - ‘ ( : 4 long-lived- i r one-tine- wis-dui- i ENTS ADYERTI9EM ' !L G W DAVIS HAS GOT SEfOT AGAID- T- Cannons’ Cholera Cordial Mustard Mustang Liniment and all the delicacies of the Season also Cod-fis- h IF YOU WANT TO LE1ILV ALL ABOUT kragin Kullom and Kolfaxand to see all hiskoinic kollectien j of kards kali in James Dwyeb HOME MUSEUM AND EtEX AGEBIE Go arid see the briars climb from 9 a m ' to 5 p m : u A r f ' IF ‘ YOU WANT YOUIl JPUDT1P TAIIETJ with a high forehead and sriiiling go to r : Savage fc Ottinger NOTICE TO THE PRESS GAHOV? Small Frinting Pr:a for sale with rules typeetcall complsvo Inquire of J Grimshaw at News otUcer Double-back-ati- ou |
