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Show THE DIXIE OWL 18 I should like to see Miss Smith: the man I would promise to love, Fool and Philosopher A TRAGEDY Four desperate girls had decided one day That life in this sphere was a poor thing at best, And that they, old Father Time, just to repay, Would cyanide take and pass off to rest. For a sadder case you may search wide and far; And of course I know youll be very shocked, But when they went for the cyanide jar, Horror or horror! the door was locked. If you should obRomney a serve a man on train or elevated all the papers in out car street take his pockets and scan them carefully, tearing some up, what would be your Mr. deduction? Wyatt his wife. That he is going home to Mrs. Gardner (after Alma had said Well, Anna, what were you and Alma talking about so long? Anna We were just discussing our kith and kin. Yes, Ma(Cummings spoke up.) ma, Alma asked Anna for a Kith and Anna said you kin. good-nigh- t) Gweneth G. was walking under the blooming apple blossom tree in Huroclock with Mr ricane at Davis. Mr. Davis Gwen, why do you wear that veil when it is dark? Gwen. Ray, what do you suppose? I wear it to keep the fire flies away. The NOW is just the added sum of all the little THENS. Any man as he is the epitome of all stands y past hopes, desires, thoughts and actions. What kind of men will we be, "THEN say ten years from now? Build for the future. to-da- What are you boys hanging around here for? Earl C. Nothing. Clarence (sarcastically) Well, move on; if everyone in the building stood still, howd the rest get past? Clarence C. The following excuse was handed to Miss Lindsay: Dear Miss Lindsay: Kindly excuse Ruths absence from school yesterday as she fell in the ditch. By doing the same you will greatly oblige her mother. propose that Edna give Henry: us at least a part of that wonderful Butterfly Dance that she rendered while in Hurricane on the night of April 12th. The very latest in opera 1 cloaks will be exhibited. in examination, Romney, a question on the board and then asked the class if they saw anyAfter a short thing pecular in it. Orval answered, Yes sir, the pause bad writing. Mr. wrote It is mighty hard to Milton C. please a woman. Elmer T.Oh, its easy enough if can make her decide what she you wants. In Student Body meeting, while voting on Student Body party. Edna I move that teachers are al Snow: What were her lowed to come. motives? honor, and obey. Miss Scorup: Yes, would, dear. Im sure you There is not much difference between Ammonia and Pneumonia; except that ammonia comes in bottles, and Pneumonia comes in chests. He placed a kiss upon her lips, He did it just in frolic, It was a very dear, dear kiss. For he died of painters colic. Although Mr. Nicholes is a bookkeeper he is a poor business man. The other day he spent $125.00 for a new nickle (Nichol). We cannot account for the attitude that Bert T. took in the study room Monday. He was reclining gracefully on a bench, snoring peacefully. Another fine thing about peace is well soon be able to read the daily papers without an encyclopedia and an atlas. Bert T: Say, Tom, have you read Freckles. Tom, abstractedly: No, mine are all brown. My but Sophomore (to Freshie) Fieshies are green. Freshie Well, green things will grow. you Louie and Ivan were standing just outside the Harris home. Louie: Gee! Im cold. Ivan: Why dont you button your coat? Now Hazel B. (in chemistry) Mr. Nicholes you can kick me out, throw me out, or knock me out, but you cant bawl me out. Mr. Hafen (in English B.): Cor rect this sentence. Please raise up the window. Please raise the window Will P. up. The lighter the head the heavier the feet; remember this when you walk through the study room. Marion G. ;(in library) Iona, long ago did you start to take Public Opinion? Barber George S. them all cut. Do you want a No, I guess hair-cut- Ill ? have Some men are like the little boy who disliked his teacher because she didnt teach him nothin that he knew. If it takes a crank to Thelma turn a crank why did Miss Scorup have Fye make the devil cake? To ignore Self - determination else but everybody yourself; derived from schoolmaster. Will P. Did you ever take chlo- roform? LeRoy No, who teaches it? EXCUSES are the tools with which people build to themselves great mountains of nothing. All truth is precious, if not all divine, and what dilates the powers must needs refine. |