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Show jl,,ny a straight man goes on n ben-,er ben-,er vheu luck is against him. Drink Denison's Coffee, For your health's sake. Between Octogenarians. midoi'staiuf they sentenced him ,0 life imprisonment?" 'Well, no; it wasn't as had as that. qf got only ninety-nine years!" ruck. Not a Grumbler. In one of the southwestern states jj.e courtroom of the courthouse was jvorlno'king the cemetery. A negro adjust been sentenced for two years. Hie judge, piqued at his apparent inference, in-ference, remarked: "You don't ;.om to mind your sentence." Bless yo', judge, des plenty ob 'em jvah yondah would like to hab it." Helping Hubby. My husband has found a way by vliu'h he says I am of the greatest yip to him in his literary work." How nice that must be for you, ay dear! But how are you able to o it?" As soon as I see him at his desk I go into another room and keep perfectly quiet until he has fin- War and Necessity. Assuming an air of sage importance he fat plumber ejaculated: War is a necessity." Pooh! How do you mate that it?" demanded the thin carpenter, :;precatingly. Did you read that Edison is going o devote his energies to American I protective measures in time of war?" Yep. What of it?" I "That proves my contention." -How?" "War raakrs Invention necessary, ioesn't it?" "I suppose so." "And necessity Is the mother of in- tention?" "Huh!" 1 "Therefore war and necessity are iincnymous." The thin carpenter is still thinking ' :i over Youngstown Telegram. - Fallacious Fabrications. a An old horse that lay sleeping in his a ul! was rudely awakened by the red man, who jabbed him with a e -c'.ifork. Oh, ho, ho!" said the horse, arising S ':".y. "Another day's work ahead, I i .pose." s- For once," said the hired hand. :o was a college graduate in dis-::;e. dis-::;e. "your supposition is incorrect cj will be permitted to remain In 4 "r stall and rest. Your master is i -A. and his funeral will be held to- v o : . "But I am goitig to the funeral," o sli the old horse. "Why, for the love of, Mike," gruffly cd the hired man, "should you go iu hen you may as well stay here and ;i?" e- "For 20 years," replied the aged ?t ?rse, "1 have been wanting to attend 'J master's funeral, and now that the "rortunity is present, I will not be -ied." 1S" Occasionally it happens that all ' -ose in the funeral train are not --1 ere for the purpose of shedding the 'Ming tear. Judge. of do - i Daily Building To be continually well, calls for food that contains elements that surely build up the whole system 8 body, nerves and brain. Grape-Nuts :om rnade from whole wheat roi- and malted barley con- ped tains the full nutriment of :ene grain, including the stei mineral salts, so essential - to -o balanced re-building. in Grape-Nuts, partially on." Precl'gested, agrees splend- jdly with child or adult. Requires little work from iy the digestive organs and is puts quickly absorbed by the i y,J system, generally in about ne hour. -CoS' Thousands have found Helping hand in Grape-Nuts Grape-Nuts foodie food-ie 4 "There's a Reason" BT Sold by Grocers. , && DISTRESSING PIMPLES Removed by Cuticura Soap and Ointment. Oint-ment. Trial Free. Smear them with the Ointment. Wash off in five minutes with Cuticura Cuti-cura Soap and hot water and continue bathing for some minutes. Repeat on rising and retiring. These fragrant supercreamy emollients do much for the skin, and do it quickly. Sample each free by mail with Book. Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. XY, Boston. Sold everywhere. Adv. Drink Denison's Coffee, i For your health's sake. When a missionary explains that the heathen are experiencing a .wonderful .won-derful awakening, that is a sign he is going to pass the hat. PREVENTION better than cure. Tutt' Pills If taken In tfm are not only a remedy for, but will prevent SICK HEADACHE, biliousness, constipation and kindred disease. Tuffs Pills CEDAR POSTS "JM prices before bur ing. G. K- Kirk Co.. Tacomu, Was It W. N. U., Salt Lake City, No 34-1915. Children Cry fcr Fletcher's The Kind You Have Always Bought, and which has been in use for over 30 years, has borne the signature of -J) and has been made under his per- a jiiO'TZ- Bonal supervision since Its Infancy. L&aS'iZ ZucLt4! Allow no one to deceive you In this. All Counterfeits, Imitations and " Just-as-ood " are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of Infants and Children Experience against Experiment What Is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, Pare-goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It Is pleasant. I contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotio substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Feverishness. For more than thirty years ill has been in constant use for the relief of Constipation, Flatulency, Wind Colic, all Teething1 Troubles and Diarrhoea. It regulates the Stomach and Bowels assimilates the Food, giving healthy and natural Sleep, !fhe Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend. GsnuznE CASTORIA always - rf Bears the Signature iMimrr In Dse For Over 30 Years The Kind You Have Always Bought JU: COFA"Y TW CrrT -3 |