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Show Don't abuse the weather man. Farewell, a long farewell to the Ice-man. Ice-man. Fine weather brings out fine birds on fine hats. Some men make good money, bul mighty little of It. A throne upheld by bayonets is sure to fall sooner or later. Aviators are pulling down some rich prizes from the upper air. From women down to census returns re-turns we are against padding. However, the undertakers have not yet begun subsidizing football. As a Juggernaut the aeroplane is running the automobile a mighty close race. A western farmer extinguished a blaze in his kitchen with milk. . Enough said. I We've come to the conclusipn that autumn has spring beaten forty ways from the jack. In an aeroplane race there seems to be no such possibility as betting on B sure thing. Here is where the foolhardy man begins a dangerous intimacy with the pneumonia germ. The age of aviation calls for a race of spectators with eyes on the tops of their heads. Japan exported nearly 1,000,000 pounds of human hair last year. Do you buy your wife her share? With forty bankers in the Leavenworth Leaven-worth prison that institution is becoming be-coming too aristocratic for plain folks. If you chew your food with sufficient suffi-cient care you will live a long time In fact, you will have to live a long time. Cheer up! Soon the big chrysanthemums chrysan-themums will be competing for the world's championship at the flower (how. i Strictly fresh eggs are said to be few, but that does not discourage the cheerful sign painter at the corner frocery. So many automobile accidents at railroad grade crossings teach the necessity of care on the part of Irivers. There are lovely bits of coloring to be observed about sunrise these crisp mornings, not including that on the early pedestrian's nose. Chicago university professors have (jult making sensational statements. One of 'em tells us as bit of news that "Woman has ruled man for centuries. cen-turies. ' A Virginia father with 56 children is i convict, but under the circumstances he deserves some sympathy. Think of supporting such a family on the average aver-age salary! There is a man in New Zealand who ays claim to $167,000,000 worth of property in New York city. He would have a better chance if the New Yorkers York-ers had not seen it first. In one respect the colleges are not op to date. They issue no life and accident insurance -policies to the young men who go out on the football Held to battle for alma mater. When a man rents a flat all he can Jo about the place is to sit around and look out of the window. But when he occupies a humble cottage he has many things to keep his mind off hit Dther troubles. The Connecticut tobacco crop and lie New Jersey cranberry crop are blg-rer blg-rer this year than they have been for l long, long time. Unfortunately few f us can live on cranberries and Con-lecticut Con-lecticut tobacco. A man whose automobile broke Jown the other day offered $1,000 for i new and vigorous profane oath. A nan who wants to swear and doesnJt know how may not be good, but simply sim-ply lacking in imagination. American returning tourists will now npt only have to pay the duty on what is in their trunks, but also on the trunks themselves. And about the jnly way of smuggling left now is to bring trunk and contents over in an airship. |