OCR Text |
Show Why doesn't an ice floe flow" There seems to be lo kind of Insect powder that is fatal to humbugs. The forty immortals have slid bach Into obscurity, and all is forgiven. There never before was a time when the world had so many ex-potentates. The peach crop promises to be big enough for cholera morbus purposes. pur-poses. Other seeds may be higher this year, but seeds of kindness will cosl no more. What a pity that the average man has no place to store away Ice for a dusty day! . A 27-pound lobster has been caughl at Atlantic City. It was not accom panled by a chorus girl. It was with difficulty that Lak Michigan was kept from freezing from shore to shore this winter. Somebody has said "we are what we eat" We doubt it especially when w eat boilexl cabbage and turnips. Doctors saved the life of a New York man whose neck was broken. But he will still have to live In New York. China invented fireworks a good many hundred years before it had an Independence day to explode them on. Automatic starters may be all right for automobiles, but they would nevei do to set a political campaign in motion. mo-tion. Though a Minnesota man caught a ton of fish with his hands, others have made greater catches with their imag lnations. The couple who get married in a flying fly-ing machine evidently do not desire elaborate ceremonies Just a plane wedding. Fashion notes make it easy to foretell fore-tell that ladles' hats will be high and pocketbooks retain their UBuai shape of flatness. Golf balls are to be cheaper. But we cannot paraphrase Marie Antoinette Antoin-ette and eat golf balls if we can't have bread. We await anxiously the time when the little ex-Emperor Pu Yt will begin be-gin making attempts to come back. They all do it A gun made of cement Is one of the latest devices for war purposes. It is dangerous to stand either at the muzzle muz-zle or the breech. We take off our hat to the pulmotor, which not only draws suicides back from the dark shore, but patches up their lovers' quarrels. The Massachusetts man who has been on the operating table thlrty-ne times may be merely trying to establish estab-lish a reputation as a cut-up. Don't boast, even if you did have eggs for breakfast The man to whom you feel so superior may have bad butter on his Jobnnycake. A New York surgeon says the vermiform ver-miform appendix fulfills an important fuiictlon. He is, of course, speaking from the surgeon's standpoint i ' Those Manchurian princes do not make any pretenses to the effect that they stepped out of power In order to devote more time to the uplift A near scientist tells ub that whenever when-ever a man tells a He his big toe wiggles. There must be some enthusiastic enthu-siastic wiggling on the bathing beaches In summer. The death of Lord Lister, who discovered dis-covered antiseptic surgery and has saved the lives of thousands, recalls the fact that he was not placed in the list of the twenty greatest- A Connecticut bank has gone to the wall because Ub books had not been balanced for forty years. It seems, therefore, that the balancing of bank books Is important, after all. A prominent dentist informs us that false teeth are more sanitary than real ones, but the man who knocks out bis fellow man's teeth Is not necessarily looked upon as a philanthropist A New Jersey woman Is suing for damages because after a surgical operation a pair of forceps was sewed up inside her. She is lucky not to have the price of the instrument charged against its loss in her bill. |