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Show Thus far It has been a hard year od baby emperors. At last accounts the man who wrote "The Beautiful Snow" was still Id hiding. Getting cold feet may be slang, but there is more truth than fiction in it these days. 1 Our idea of a waste of time is to (all in love with the hero of a moving mov-ing picture film. The man who kicked on the 100 in the shade weather now sees where bis Judgment was at fault. The time may come when a man can be a good and great actor without having more than one wife. Generally, man proposes and Providence Provi-dence disposes, but this year woman proposes and man hasn't the heart to refuse. Eastern society woman tells us that the grizzly bear is not as naughty as its reputation. Isn't she the knocker! Kansas has a citizen who claims to be "the only hog dentist in the world." What's the use of casting gold fillings before swine? We are informed that Mars is experiencing ex-periencing a hard winter, but, then, there is reason to believe that Mars has nothing on us. One good thing about the king of weather we have had this year is that It keeps your priceless chunk of butter but-ter from melting away. A leading actress refuses to play in a theater that asks but one dollar for Its best seats. This actress will yet be put on the retired list A food expert informs us that there Is as much nourishment in two eggs as there is in a good sized steak, but eggs were deceivers ever. Mile. Plaskoweitzkajakahle, a Russian Rus-sian dancer, is about to , visit us. Linotype Lino-type operators are in favor of the exclusion ex-clusion of undesirable Russians. Paragraphers are taking sundry Jolts Bt the man who paid $27,000 for a Bible Bi-ble and does not read it, but how many paragraphers read the Bible? One of our financiers tells us that there is a scarcity of $10,000 men, but In our varied career we have not seen many $10,000 Jobs lying around loose. Never be in your place of business when a person wants to borrow money Df you, because if you are in you will be out, and if you are out you-will be In. Chicago lawyer is responsible for the startling statement that a man will be on the safe side if he obeys the ten commandments. Another Solomon! Solo-mon! The queen of Siam breaks into print with the story that she has been robbed of her Jewels. We never knew there was a vaudeville circuit in Siam. One of the men "who broke the Monte Carlo bank" has been arrested on a charge of fraud. Maybe he spiked the wheel when the croupier wasn't looking. . "A New Yorker was arrested for throwing money away on the streets." Don't be deceived; undoubtedly he was merely trying to entice suckers from the provinces. - Government investigators are trying try-ing to find out what hash is, but a respectable family newspaper would not dare to print what the average boarder thinks of it. New York, we are told, has a murder mur-der every thirty-six hours. And yet certain persons would have us believe that baseball is the most popular pastime in that city. The Turkish fleet has been destroyed destroy-ed again. Either the war correspondents correspond-ents are afflicted with frenzied imagination imag-ination or the Turkish fleet has a faculty fac-ulty of unscrambling itself. Franz Lehar, who composed the "Merry Widow" waltz, is coming to this country. Here and there he will no doubt be able to find an old inhabitant inhabi-tant who remembers the "Merry Widow" waltz. We are told that English society Ivomen have adopted the fad of being photographed while asleep, but we fail to see how a woman can fall asleep when she knows she Is going to be photographed. |