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Show Chicago boasts 46 cemeteries, all well patronized, Speaking of sunshine, the more you have the more you want. The aristocrat germs on a $10 bill do uot recognize the herd on a dollar bill. Paying interest on the mortgage ia one of the best cures for automobil-lousness. automobil-lousness. In the matter of capturing a husband hus-band the girls should remember that coarse work is fatal. Although cottonseed has gone up In price olive oil is useless for purposes pur-poses of replanting. Those New York hens that lay black eggs are infringing upon the province of the Easter rabbit. And now they are mixing poker and bridge. The anti-adulteration laws should be strictly enforced. German dirigibles have been making flights over Holland. This may be significant, sig-nificant, for it beats the Dutch. Farmers are organizing to cut out the middlemen. That old reliable end man, the consumer, will hold his job. About this time of year the university univer-sity alumnus, after trying to remember remem-ber his college yell, gives it up as a bad job. The man who stole a duck and was sent to Auburn for it must now realize real-ize that it is much cheaper merely to Chase the duck. According to a scientist, dreams are the fulfilment of wishes. At any rate they are all the fulfilment a lot of wishes ever get. The college professor who insists that the dangers of kissing have been immensely overrated is making a strong bid for popularity. Verily, the complications of life multiply. It takes enough men now to train a champion prize fighter to put a play on the stage with a large cast. Viewed as peace preservers the new battleships, costing $6,000,000 each, ought to be put under bonds to furnish fur-nish us with $12,000,000 worth of peace. Berlin workingmen have taken a pledge not to eat butter for three months. That indicates one place where oleomargarine is likely to be sold for what it is. Los Angeles school children have been ruining their little tummies by eating too much pie. The great American Amer-ican nation may have to establish a pie censorship. A St. Louis woman who was dying asked to have her pet dog poisoned, that it might accompany her to the spirit world, or, probably, at least, until un-til she was safely out of St. Louis. A Chicago judge declares married men have a right to squander some of their money on themselves if they want to. Yes, judge, but how much? That's the real point. The recent cannibalistic performances perform-ances in the South sea islands seem to be a conclusive answer to the old charge that the cannibal natives of that part of the world don't like missionaries. A blind singer of Massachusetts took a trip in a balloon in order to enjoy a new sensation. He made a totally new record in ballooning; he did not remark when he came down "how strange it was to see the earth dropping away from under him." According to a New York dispatch wedding rings are passe, and "smart young matrons" no longer wear them. Perhaps this is because so many "smart young matrons" haven't room for their entire collection of wedding rings. A new order of the treasury department depart-ment prohibits the importation into the United States of the European starling, putting the bird in the same class with the mongoose, the English sparrow and fruit-eating bats. So far as this country is concerned, therefore, there-fore, the cry of the starling will be, not, "I can't get out," but "I can't get in!" Of late the shadow of the fatal microbe mi-crobe has Covered over the trembling lips of expectant lovers. They have been browbeaten, cowed, terrified. Intimidated by cold-blooded investigators investiga-tors their kisses have become of the Intangible Tennyson kind, by "hopeless "hope-less fancy feigned as lips that are for others." The cold-blooded bacteriologist bacteriolo-gist has meanwhile buttressed the cry of that cynic of cynics. Dean Swift, who wrote: "Lord, I wonder what fool It was that first invented kissing." |