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Show Medicine Hat will soon be on straight again. Comets ought to be required to keep civilized hours. Now the fur overcoat begins to stir . uneasily amid Its moth balls. In one city in Connecticut boys are taught cooking In the public schools. Brooks' comet is moving towards the sun, Induced no doubt by a chilly feeling. China's Emperor is in 'no frame of mind to enjoy the sacrifices or anything any-thing else. Most Occidentals can tell a Manchu from a Chinaman when they meet one in the street. When the super-dreadnought shall have been exceeded, how will the vessel ves-sel be referred to? Arabs in Tripoli who killed Italian wounded soldiers were not bidding for gentle treatment The engineless aeroplane Is even less Inviting to the cautious citizen than one of the noisy kind. Just because the small boy likes to play with toy railroad trains is no sign that he will be president. Most persons are willing to acknowledge ac-knowledge that there Is such a thing as old age, but the bridegroom of 73, never. Six hundred asteroids travel along with the arth, and one of them is missing. Has any one seen a lost asteroid? Professor Lowell reports sighting a frost on Mars, but could not tell by the telescope which party had been defeated. A ditch digger Is sole heir to a 175,000 estate. When the whistle blows at noon he can eat bis lunch light-heartedly. Goat's milk Is Btrongly recommended recommend-ed as a cure for Inebriety. Still, the victim may find difficulty In getting somebody's goat. The Chinese emperor, aged 5, Is doing do-ing all that can reasonably be expected ex-pected of him to pacify his numerous subjects, and they should not in all fairness behead him. A Seattle clergyman preached in the streets from a coffin and was carried car-ried home by "pallbearers." And one of his objects was to prove that he was not a dead one. A prisoner begged a magistrate not to fine him, saying it would be the beginning of seven years of bad luck. It had been his good luck that had kept him out of trouble. Fifty Pittsburg men are suing for divorce on the ground of extravagance. extrava-gance. It surely Is a shame for their wives to spend the money they need for the Great White Way. The beauty lecturer who has been advising New York women to use more soap and water on their faces, but not to forget the rouge, reminds ve that some beauty isn't even skin deep , The cutting off of queues by the Chinese rebels Is reported to have made puffs cheaper. If the revolution wins out first thing we know puffs will be so cheap they will be unfashionable. unfash-ionable. European nobleman tried to reduce his weight In order to win a wife and died of starvation. Moral: It Is better to have men say "Isn't he fat?" than "Doesn't he look natural!" Surely It ought not to be a repugnant repug-nant task for every good citizen of the country to comply with the apple growers' modest demand and eat five apples a day until further notice. Prof. Jenks of Minnesota would cure the divorce evil by letting wives control the family purse strings This, added to the countless other Bure cures and panaceas, makes one wonder won-der why divorce should stick around at all. A telephone conversation ha3 been carried on successfully between London Lon-don and Basel in Switzerland, 600 miles away, and It Is expected that before be-fore long most of the rge cities in t Europe will be in telephone communication communi-cation with the British capital What good will it do, however, to connect a man in London with a man in Berlin Ber-lin if neither understand the other"! language? |