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Show The Title of Countess i By LAWRENCE ALFRED CLAY (Copyright, jgxx, by Associated Literary Press.) When a man is a olly bachelor of thirty when he belongs to three or four clubs when he Is liberal with his money and Is familiarly called Fred by every one, .how is any one going to take him seriously? It can't be done. He can not get credit for being more than half In earnest. Such a man was Fred Nevins, and now and then he found it embarrassing embarrass-ing not to be credited with seriousness. serious-ness. When he dropped In to see 'the widow Dareforth one afternoon and offer her his hand and heart, It was rather embarrassing to receive the reply: "It's a matter you Just happened to think of." " 'Pon my soul, but I have loved you for for " "For thirty long seconds!" "For a whole year." "Poor man! How you must have thrashed around nights!" "But won't you believe me?" "No, sir. Even if I did, I should say no." "But what's the trouble?" "Mr. Nevins, I married one lah-de-dah man, and I don't want another. If I marry again, it won't be a sissy. You've got money and you've got brains, and you are throwing them both away. You are a nonentity outside out-side your circle." "Oh, it's that I'm not in a profession profes-sion or working at a trade?" he queried. "Just that. Just Idling your time away. Just being a sissy of a man. Vou may find some women to marry you, but I sha'n't credit her with good sense." "By George! but I don't amount to much, do I?" laughed Fred. "Come to think of it, I ought to seek a job at something." "And be told that you couldn't earn ten dollars a week!" "Perhaps! Say, now, I'm going to be different. I'm going to make a new start. Let's see what I can go Ik 'it JLui catted ihe ncjit day into. The detective business is not bad." The widow laughed. "And the headwaiter at a restaurant restau-rant makes fifty dollars a week." She laughed again. "Would you rather see me in one of those occupations than doing nothing?" noth-ing?" "I certainly should. Then I'd change my mind about your being a sissy." "Good! You shall change it!" "Meanwhile, drop in' occasionally and renew your proposal. I can always al-ways appreciate a bit of humor." "Great Scotts! She calls it humor!" groaned the bachelor as he left the house. "I must have her or die, and yet she won't see anything but humor In it!" Count Lugi called the next day He had been rather dilatory In getting get-ting around to It, as he had had considerable con-siderable trouble In ascertaining the widow's financial standing. When the report came that sne was worth about $2,000,000 he ordered his auto around and commanded his chauffeur to break all speed laws. Count Lugi was an Italian count. He owned castles In Italy. Some were built on peaks and crags, that he might hear the wind moan around the gables; and some were on the seashore, where the roar of the mad waters could be heard as a count sat In his library and smoked and sipped a cocktail. Count Lugi wanted a wife, but not a' rich one. The poorer she was the better. She would then appreciate his tens of millions far more. Of course, if he Bhould chance to be loved by a rich woman he would have to make the best of It, but never, never, would he consent to use one single stiver of her money. The count got this much, off In a twenty-minute call. The widow Dareforth was charmed not loo much so, but moderately charmed. She had always wanted to live In an Italian castle and have bananas right at hand. Besides, Italy Is the place where the pure olive oil comes from after It has been shipped over there by the Cotton Seed trust. Besides, Be-sides, again,-It would be so nice to have a husband who could swear by simply shrugging his shoulders! Yes, the count left a pleasant impression im-pression behind, and four days later, when he Invited Mrs. Dareforth to dine with him at a restaurant, chaperoned chap-eroned by her aunt, the invitation was accepted. Mr. Fred Nevins met them at the door and conducted them to a table in the most ceremonious way. He had got a place as headwaiter. That is, he was to have a week to make good in. He did not smile. The widow was so astounded that she couldn't have smiled for cash down. The aunt, who also knew Fred, had to swallow an olive or perish. The only one maintaining a complacent demeanor de-meanor was the count, and he snapped his fingers at the head-waiter head-waiter and said: "Fellow, see that my orders are attended to with promptness!" At that dinner the count grew confidential. con-fidential. He was In America to buj the right of a patent flying machine for a million dollars one he could sell to his government for five mil lion. He didn't need the four million, but he was a charitable man. He would devote the profits of the deal to orphan asylums. He was praised and flattered, and on the way out to the taxi he dared to press the widow's hand. At her door he dared to press it again. It was at his third call at the house that with a simple shrug of the right shoulder he let the widow know that he was in love with ber. Then a shrug of the left warned her that a proposal might come at the next call, and that she had better get ready for It. It would be ungallant to say that Mrs. Dareforth was ready for It, but it can be related that the proposal didn't come. The count Just ran In to say that he had bargained for the patent, but was short $20,000 cash. He must raise It within two hours or lose the four millions' profit. He would have money from Rome by next steamer, and If the widow would She would and she did. She was happy to give him a check for the amount needed, and the count shrugged shrug-ged his gratitude with both shoulders at once. Two hours later Mr. Fred Nevinl told her over the wire: "I've got the bounce at that restaurant!" res-taurant!" "Of course you have," was the reply. re-ply. "Well, what now?." "I'm in the detective business. Went into it only twenty minutes ago, but have already struck a clew.'- "To what?" "To Count Lugi!" "What! What! Fred Nevlus, I command you to " But he shut her off, and she had a night of anxiety. Next forenoon Fred came again. This time he said: "Hot on the trail!" "What do you mean?" "Count Lugi. He got your check cashed, but I hope to get him with the goods on him." "Fred Nevins, have you gone crazy!" No answer. He was off again. Two awful hours passed, and then came the ring again. "Got him at last!" "Got who?" "Count Lugi. Took him off the steamer about to sail. Got your $20,-000 $20,-000 back for you. He was formerly a barber." That night the Jolly bachelor was taken seriously for once. When he had finished telling his story he said: "So you can see how bad you need a husband who is In the detective business." "Y-e-s," was the long-drawn reply. "Which Is me." "Y-e-s!" |