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Show Just what does the "slash" skirl prove? Baseball is a good game, provided your team wins occasionally. Also our notion of a useless occupation occu-pation is that of raising artichokes. In the barbers' strike riots in New York revolvers were employed. Next! If all jokes were judged by points, a big bunch of them would score minus iero. Another much needed invention Is a golf ball that will whistle whenever It Is lost. The silk hat has survived a century. But the green one a few months should Bufflce. When the Balkan states feel like borrowing $1,000,000,000, what does Turkey feel like? The dollars are flowing in for turtle tur-tle serum, but where are the absolute proofs of worth? It is our notion, however, that the world needs simplified talking more than simplified spelling. Los Angeles has two lady "coppers" and it is said to be quite a sensation to be pinched by one of them. After all, why correct the proof even If the compositor does set It up vulgar Instead of Bulgar styles. What a comfort It would be If mosquitoes mos-quitoes were as fastidious as are rainbow rain-bow trout in the matter of biting. Twas a mean man who Insinuated that at a suffragette meeting he not only' beard plain things but saw 'em. Pickpockets may conclude to plead that In this day of empty purses and dollar watches they earn what they let They say that the taste for Manila cigars can be cultivated. Anybody who likes artichokes ought to believe be-lieve it. When unnecessary noise Is abolished abol-ished the picture of a messenger boy looking at ap automobile horn will be pathetic. W'hat has become of the man who used to eat strawberry shortcake all the time and then wonder what ailed his system? Irrespective of currency reform, there should be dough for everybody soon. The winter wheat crop has the best of prospects. An advance of $5 a foot Is announced an-nounced In the price of show snakes. But an advance In the price of the bar room kind would be better. This country has imported $16,000,- 000 worth of gems since the first of the present year. Somebody must be trying to square himself with his wife. 1 The strength with which a man wields a piece of bamboo depends upon up-on whether said bamboo Is a component compo-nent part of a carpet beater or a fishing fish-ing rod. The statement made that a woman aw a soul passing from a dying relative's rela-tive's lips is received by scientists with skepticism. Even were such a thing allowed to be possible there are so many souls so small as to be Invisible under any circumstances. circum-stances. "How long since you have seen a woman darning a pair of socks?" asks the Cincinnati Enquirer, thus offering an admirable topic for the historical societies. The new British ambassador is reported re-ported to be a baseball fan, which may prove even more influential than proficiency profi-ciency on the tennis court or the golfing golf-ing green. That all potato cars must be heated In winter is the mandate of the inter state commerce commission. There must be a society for the prevention oi cruelty to the potato. The blasting at Panama is killing the sea serpent. This will not do. At least one of the Bacred traditions ol ages must be preserved from the commercial com-mercial iconoclasts of the age. You remember, don't you, that Qau-temala Qau-temala borrowed $2,500,000 from Great Britain in 18G9? Well, Great Britain is unreasonable enough to think It Is time for Guatemala to whack up, and Is beginning to be unpleasant un-pleasant about it. |