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Show The spring girl Is about ready te make her bow. Milliners say that the size of women's wom-en's hats will be smaller this spring. But what about the bills? The war between the hobble skirt and -the high car step goes on In many cities with varying results. The weather man should realize that anticipation Is nearly as bad aa realization and let up on it. The firecracker trust In China can be trusted to make the republic's in dependence a day a noisy holiday. An oculist tells us that alcohol hurts the eyesight, and yet we have known It to make men see double. Burglars in Gary, Ind., stole a house the other night. Next thing we know they will kidnap the village lockup. The woman who is dazzling east era society by wearing diamonds on her slippers is certainly well heeled. Hens can be taught to talk, according accord-ing to a Washington scientist, but what we want is less talk and more eggs. Fighting a duel with wax bullets Is a noble sport, but why not use perfume per-fume sprays and make it all the rage In Paris? A New Jersey man has been sent to jail for stealing a loaf of bread, but think of all the advertising he is getting get-ting out of it. Football ritfes have been changed again, but up to date no step has been taken to equip the rooters with Maxim silencers. A doctor tells us that anger generates gen-erates sugar In the blood, and yet w have often met amiable men witl iweet dispositions. A Missouri court has granted a woman $2 for the loss of her husband's hus-band's affections. The husband probably prob-ably feels flattered. Every wedding is declared to be a culmination of a romance. It is useless use-less to try to change the pet phrases Df the newspaper man. An Austrian archduke is to visit New York during the coming summer More trouble for those on the outei fringe of the Four Hundred. The Japanese ambassador tells us that the world is at peace. Aside from the fact that there are a few wars in progress, he is right. With the per capita money of the sountry down to $34.61, a good many people will have to be content with their last year's automobiles. i ' A woman writer tells us that chewing chew-ing gum steadies the nerves, but It la more than likely that she derives nore money from chewing the rag. A family of six has lived for three monthB on $2 a week, says a Boston paper. It is easier to guess what they lidn't have to eat than what they did. One of the most cheerful aspects of the Chinese situation is the regularity with which Wu Ting Fang lands a big ob with each change of administration. A Yale professor rises to remark that $12.81 a week is enough. We pre lume that all he gets over and above that amount is turned back into the STale treasury. Wearing jewels In the tieel is said to be gaining popularity, but only imong high steppers. The race on higher education is expensive. ex-pensive. Yale Is building this year a $700,000 stadium. All musical instruments are denounced de-nounced as immoral by a New Jersey minister. We would be pleased to lave him tell us what harm a bass rum ever did. Another prophet comes to the front pplth the prediction that the world ip 111 end In the year 4237. We here-ty here-ty Indite a message of sympathy to Ihe citizens of 4237. A New Jersey woman has been rought into court for carrying a re rolver. It won't do to permit th fomen to take their leap year privi ege too seriously. A Pennsylvania Enoch Arden on hli 'eappearance was promptly sent t la.il. This course followed, as a rule night tend largely to decrease thesi joetlc resurrections. r t . |