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Show No-o-. Great lands, how I suffer! ease la Just like this, dad: The wldder Is at least ten years older than me, but we love each other, rnd want to git married. You married to please yourself, and I shall do the same thing. You and ma have had a heap to say about It, and youve said some purty hard things, hut I guest youre willin to take them all bac now and keep shet. Do I understand It that way. dad? Never, Dick never!" Then you stand quiet and F1I go In to dinner. If I hear you yell i shan't come, as It will be too late. Do you a ant a big funeral, dad? Dick, have I got to chaw my words? pleadingly queried the father. Or else let the bees chaw you." "Then, Dick then git that hive up here In lessn a mlnit and begin to gently scrape them infernal off, fur Im right on the pint of faintin away. And the wldder, dad the wldder?" Marry the wldder, and be darned to you! Charles Crawford In Bow ton Globe. HER NAP Tbe Cradle Song. Ml low. nr Ml and ow Wind, of th. western m, low, Low, breath, and blow. Wind, of th. western Mt! Over th. rolling water, go. Com. from th. dying moon, and blow Blow him again to me: Wh!l. my llttla on., whlla my pretty on. sleeps. Sweet Bleep and reel, .leap and rest. Father will com. to thee noon: Rest, rut. on mother', breast. Father will come to thee aoon: Father will oom. to hi. babe In th. neat, Silver util, all out of the weat Under the .liver moon; Sleep, my little one, sleep, my pretty one, sleep. . Lord Tennyson. "TONNAGE AT INLAND PORT. many things had happened before the bees swarmed back of the house on that June day. Dick Scott, son of the and old Farmer Scott, had fallen In love with the widow He was Lapham months before. barely 21 years of age, and working for his father as a hired band, while she waa 32 and owned the next farm on the east. It was easy to get up an argument on their respective ages, showing that the disparity waa too great and on the wrong side, and the father used It for all It waa worth. Farmer Scott had called upon the widow and charged her with seeking to trap bis guileless son, and bad been promptly turned out doors. The neighbors had mixed In after that, and the affair was the leading subject of conversation tor five miles around. Dick Scott was no talker, but he was a good hand to think. He was very much in love, and he was as determined to marry that widow as he was to live, but he couldnt stand up against the arguments of his father cor witness the tears of his mother, ao he kept quiet and waited for an earthquake, cyclone or some other dispensation of Providence to help him out Whenever they were working in the fields together the father would look at the sky with a squint, take a farewell glance around the farm, and then solemnly remark: Dick, It seems awful that Ive got to die In my prime and leave all this, especially before them young pear trees begin to bear, but Ill have to do It Ill have to do It Whats the use oo dyln?" Dick would ask, knowing that he must say something. I dont want to, but Ive got to. Cant live a week after youve went and married to the wldder Lapham. The Idea that ray only son has gone and married his grandmother, and a women with feet like an elephant at that, would break my heart and send me to my grave. Didnt you marry who you wanted to when you married ma? That was different, in them days women didnt set traps for young men, and widders wasnt schemin day and night. Dick, gol durn ye. what dye want to make a hyena of yourself fur and send my gray hairs down to the grave in sorrer? Dick would change the subject or refuse to talk hack any further, and. after muttering to himself for half an hour longer, the father would get A good hard-heede- hard-hearte- d d tired out On this June day, however, when the two were repairing the rail fence between the corn and the potato field, and all nature was reveling In the balmy sunshine, the usual discussion opened with a different preliminary and became red hot at once. A peddler came down Into the field to see if he couldnt make a sale of a pocket knife or a pair of suspenders, and he had a little joke to get off about the widow Lapham wearing the trousers after marriage. He was still grinning when Dick knocked him into the thistle patch and seemed sorry that there was not more of him. ex- Dick Scott! By thunder. Deputy Collector Evidently Had Nev-e- r Been Seafaring Man. Appraiser Whitehead in discussing the other day some of the peculiarities of the tariff law, told the followJeminy, no wonder that me and story of a newly appointed deputy your mother have bin havin cold feet ing collector at a sub-poon the Canafur the last three days and huntin dian border. The port was In the up verses for our tombstones! Ill have one more talk with you when woods, and hundreds of miles from we go up to dinner, and If you can't the coast. The customs officials are furnished be made to listen to reason then Ill with blacks on which to make their be through with you. Dick had nothing to say in reply. reports, and in cases like the one in He was as much astonished as his point there are many Items on the father at his sudden outbreak, but it blanks which It Is never necessary tq fill. The new deputy collectora rehad given him confidence. The pair worked along for the next port contained the Information that two hours without a word, and when he had collected $4 for tonnage," tbe dinner born blew they started for dues on vessels. The treasury department had visthe house. The father led by a good ions of a tidal wave which had changfifteen rods. His head was down, and he was ed the face of the map on the northern frontier and made the little port" thinking up new arguments to advance. when a strange, buxzlng noise in the woods a veritable seaport An suddenly reached his ears ami made agent was dispatched to the scene to Investigate. He found no change in him halt. He was passing close to one of the the physical characteristics of the rebeehives, and the bees were swarm- - gion, and tbe first question which he asked the new official was how be had managed to collect 34 for tonnage.. I collected duty on two tons of hay at 2 a ton, he replied, and If that Isnt what you mean by tonnage on your old blank I'll be d d If I know what it Is. New York Times. rt GAVE HIS FLOCK WARNING. half-craz- The bees were swarming. They put out by the thousand, flying around and around, like a corkscrew, and as farmer Scott hesitated which way to run, the whole cloud began settling down on him. His straw hat was covered In an Instant, and then the little workers roosted on hls shoulders, clung to hla shirtsleeves and covered him down to the knees. He reached out hls right hand and grasped a young peach tree to support himself, but that was all he could do. Dick came swinging along about the time the last bee had settled down, and he stopped short with a look of amazement. Then the look changed to a grin, and he sat down on the frame of the grindstone, crossed his legs and. said: Dad, I wouldnt be In your place for three of the best cows in Hillsdale county! Dick, Im a dead man! ' replied the father in a hoarse whisper. You surely are. You ain't goln to die of a broken heart because 1 marry the wldder Lapham, but because about 1,000,000 bees are goln' to Jab tbelr stingers into you at the same time. Youll feel wussn that peddler did fur wuss. Dick, continued the father, yon musi git one o them new hives and put some fresh honey around It and try to coax them bees off. They may begin to sting me any mlnit. Yes, dad, they may, and they'll hear your yells clear down to Schera-erhornas the first fifty stingers go In. Ill see about the hive bimeby. i want to talk with you first How old do you think the wldder Lapham Is? For heavens sake, but what has the wldder Lapham got to do with them bees? Get that hive! After we've had our talk. How old did you say she was? "A leetle over 30, I guess, but Im nigh dead of fright. "You keep still and youll be all right. How big . are the wldders luff- - 8 feet?" Whata the uss o dyin7 claimed the father as the peddler picked himself up and started off, but you appear to bring eternal disgrace on this family. It wasnt nuff that you must go and git ail tangled up with a wldder as old as the hills, but you haul off and hit a peddler wholl have you !nrthe county Jail before Saturday night! Zealous Old Minister Certainly Mads Lesson Impressive. The little town of Bethlehem, Pa, once contained a minister known as "Ranting" Ranker, who bad been educated beyond hls Intelligence, and was at times hysterically fanatic. Hls strange doings were as numerous as they were well known, but probably the wildest freak was during the last year of hls eventful life. The quiet little village was deep In slumber one night when It was aroused by peal after peal from the bell In the Moravian church. Men and women rushed from every side to put out the supposed fire and the local fir brigade sallied forth with all Its The crowd assembled about the church, but the bell never ceased its frantic summons. At last a delegation was sent up to 6ee who the ringer was. Ranting' Ranker stood there, half naked, pulling the bell rope with all hls strength. What Is it? Where's the fire? was their excited query. Fire. in hell! Fire In hell! shoub ed the zealous old preacher, and If you dont look out you'll all be burned Durn you. Dick, will you see -- our own father perish this way? Youre not perlshln. How big are her feet? Same as your fathers, or smaller. Now git the hive. Purty soon, dad. How about the wldder settin mantraps? Dick Scott! exclaimed the father In as loud tones as he dared use, them confounded bees are crawlin down my back and Into my ears! Yes, they are naturally cur'us to know who you are. Do you reckon the wldder set raantrsp for me, dad? up In y It" How many souls were converted that night has never been known. A Social Tragedy. She first put on a dark blue dreaa, Then chanui'd It for a one; Then changed attain. In purple her distress. To one twlxt chestnut-baand dun; And yet once more she made a change And put a pale pink rinsing on; Her husband growled thlnga strong and strange Hls patience was completely gone. y That she waa anxious to Tls ever thus when woman impress A lot of time upon her dress.spends This time her plan succeeded not In stunning folks for O. alas' hostess said: "It's quite too hot To think of turning up the gas." 8. W. GlllUan In Baltimore American Made Name at Astronomer. One of the most noted of Russiaa astronomers died In the person of Theodore Bredlkhine. He had been director of the observatories In Moscow and St Petersburg. It was hls unpleasant duty In the latter place to oust the Germans and Swedes who had made It famous. Hls own specialty was comets tails, regarding the formation of which he had an electric theory, which occupied his attention to the time of his death. Memorial to Great Scientist memorial to tht great geologist and scientist, Joseph Le Conte, has been erected In Yose-mitvalley by the Sierra club of California. It Is a lodge, built strongly and simply, containing one large room, 25x36 feet, with a large stone fireplace at one end, and a small room on either Bide the entrance cn the opposite end. It is at the upper end of the valley. An appropriate e Princess Has Many Godfathers. Probably no person !n the world had as many godfathers as did Princess Irene of Prussia, wife of Prince Henry. When she was born her father requested the members of the Hessian regiments forming a portion of hls cavalry brigade to be sponsors for the When she was christened baby. about 4,000 soldier stood, for her as sponsors. IN CHURCH. SACRIFICE MANY MEN Habit Was the Result of Confidence In the Paator. , f There la no greater stickler in this district for constant church attendance than a certain lady who resides In northeast Washington not many squares from the Congressional Library. There ts one little sin. however if it is allowable to call It a sin that this devotee to regular church service frequently allows to get possession of her, and that Is the fault of taking a furtive nap frequently during the preachers discourse. A friend twitted her upon this weakness the other day. Why is it, Mrs. C, she said, "that you, such a regular churchgoer, shoMld go to' sleep In church so often? 1 feel that I have the right as an old friend to let you know that people are beginning to notice it." "Well, my dear," was the response, "you know I hate every confidence In our beloved pastor. 1 know that he will preach a sermon without having my eye on him all the time, and I am not afraid to trust him. So dont wake me up when I am nodding In church unless I should happen to snore. In that case you are at liberty to stab me with your hatpin. Washington Star. NORTHWEST NOTES. TWENTY THOUSAND JAPANESE KILLED AT PORT ARTHUR. Billings, MonL, now haa a population of 6,443. This Is an Increase of 2,460 since the census of 1900. Man Brown and Dave Nevlna of Melville. Mont, la Eattle Big Fought Gain Position, but at a Fearful Buffering from a badly lacerated foot, Cost of Human Lift. oaased by the accidental discharge of a gun. A battle of huge proportions raged Judge Bell, In the superior court of 14 Port Arthur around August King county, haa decided that the tt was resumed eight-hou- r and 13. and law passed by tbe last legAugust 17. Tho Japanese It la islature of the state of Washington la more void. sacrificed 20,000 reported, men, bwt rained important advantages Forest fires are ravaging valuable In the matter of position. The above standing timber two miles west of news was brought to Cbofoo on Junks, Barlow Pass, on the Monte Cristo railone of which, having on board three road, In Washington. The fire waa Russians, concealed In the baggage started by sparks from a passing enof Chinese to escape the Japanese, left gine. Port Arthur at nUhL and waa blown Charles Johnson, the freak character rapidly to ClWoo by a gala who has twice escaped from the jail at The main force of tho attack waa Hamilton. Mont., by digging hls way directed against the left wing and rethrough the brick wall, haa turned out sulted in the capture cf Pigeon bay po- to be an escaped lunatic from the asysitions and soicn of the forts at Liao lum at Warm Springs Tlesban. At Palungcbang the JapanScoabzl Seraptno, an Italian boy, 19 ese hastily mounted guns which did old, waa drowned at Bozeman, years stormIn excellent service aiding the MonL He had gone swimming In the lng of the right wtng, where the Jap-- I West Gallatin river, and ventnring too anese are said to have raptured two In the stream, and being unout far forts of minor value, mounting eight able to awlm, he waa drowned. four-incguns, two siege guns and ctx Giving Away Cigars. Jack Campbell, who waa arrested el Into s cigar store came a man to quick-firinguns. on suspicion of being the man Helena whom, after a few words with him, On the night of the 15th the battle the dealer handed over a cigar, which lulled who furnished Gravelle with a revolver somewhat, when tho Japanese the man lighted and walked off smokto Lieu-- ' with which he did such fearful execuof terms surrender sent the ing, but without paying for it. tion during hls attempt to escape, haa Do you give away cigars? asked tenant General Stoessel.' The terms been released from the county jail for should a customer wo had Just bought a provided that tbe garrison lack of evidence. and war march of out honors with the cigar. Between August 31 and September said the dealer; Join General Kuropatktn; that all Why, sure, ' sometimes. civilians be brought to a place desig- 11, Inclusive, 146 cars bearing 2,294 Tramps? nated by the Japanese admiral; that people will pass through Portland en No, not tramps. We couldn't have the Russian warships in the harbor, route to and from the twenty-ninttramps In the store, and if we gave to seven, namoly, the battle- triennial conclave of the Knights Temnumbering tramps we'd be filled with them. Rut we do occasionally give a cigar or a ships Retvlzan, Sevastopol, Pobteda, plars, which convenes In San Fran6. piece of tobacco to somebody that Just Peresvlet, Poltava and tbe armored cisco September A cloudburst washed out the track r.lmply hasn't got any money and cruiser Dayan, the protected cruise wants a smoke. Ive seen the time Pallada and ten or more torpedo-boa- t at Mlnto, ten miles east of Callente, when Id give a dollar for a cigar, and and four gunboats bt sun Nevada. The Westbound train waa dedestroyers I know what It is to want a smoke. rendered to the Japanese. layed four hours. There was no damSo to one In those circumstances I alIs Lieutenant General Stoessel age to train or passengers. Six miles will give a cigar. leged to have received the terms with below Callente two work trains cola burst of wonderful profanity, hls lided and six laborers were Injured. A Touching Tribute. In a tiny country village In New habitual taciturnity deserting him. He It is officially announced that ComEngland a woman died recently and strode the floor until he became missioner Eva Booth, the daughter of her relatives, friends and neighbors calmor and then remarked that if the General William Booth, who for seven decided that a woman who had been of the Japanese proposition was a Joke It was years haa been In command so popular In life deserved something In Canada, Alaswork Salvation army In bad taste. out of the ordinary In the way of a ka, eastern Washington, Montana and Idaho, will be transferred to other funeral. JAPB SAIL FOR SHANGHAI. work. The village did not boast of a band, l but It had a drum corpd, which was A Bellingham, Wash, special say Determined to 8stza Ruselan hired to do honor to the occasion. the mystery surrounding the disapCruisers Lying In Harbor. Solemnly It played on the way to the pearance of William McKenzie who M. Odaglrl, the Japanese couail gem was last seen two weeks ago In comcemetery, but on the return it was uked to play something livelier as a sral, has notified tho taot.il of Bhang pany with Miss Kate Bast, has been sort of quickstep home. hal that a Japaneao fleet la coming In cleared away by the discovery of both But the drum corps had made a to seize the Russian cruiser Askold the bodies floating In the water of Lake Whatcom. .specialty of serious music and knew and the Russian torpedo boat da There is great "excitement over thV only one lively air. However, it was j ntroyer Grozovol. of free gold on Whistler perfectly willing to play the only discovery The chief engineer of the customs cheerful bit of music It knew, and mountain, thirty miles from' Lake the funeral procession went cheerily department reports that the Russian Chelan, Wash. This Is stated to be reare veaaela not The I home on the strains of "The Girl seaworthy. the first free gold ever found In that Left Behind Me. pairs being made by the Russians on district. A rich ledge twenty feet tho Grozovol will be completed la which has been hidden by snow wide, A Clock for Calculators. about ten days. It la uncertain when and Ice, Is reported to have been unDr. W. 8. Ralnsford la a great salmthe repairs to the Askold will be fin covered. on fisherman. Nearly every summer Ished. Michael Collins and Roy Owens he goes salmon fishing among tbe Thcro la no uneasiness at Shanghai, were killed In the Minnie Canadian rivers, In a wild and remote Healy mine Country where the people are quaint. although the situation la thought to at Butte by falling from the 800 to the One day In Canada Dr. Ralnsford be acute. 900 level. A blast had been prepared lunched with an aged farmer. His The foreign consuls are determined on the 800 and the two men made a watch had stopped and he took It out to preserve the neutrality of the port rush for the ladder running to the 900 to set It by tbe tall hall clock that Upon the recommendation of the chief level, when one of the men missed hls stood In a corner. But this clock of customs the taotal of Shanghai will footing and came down on the other, proved, upon Inspection, to be three allow the Russian cruiser Askold and both falling about 100 feet or four hours wrong. Russian Samuel Creswell, while driving borne torpedo boot destroyer "Your clock Is wrong. Isnt It? said the Grozovol to remain In port until Au- from Shohomish, Wash., met with a Dr. Ralnsford, politely. Not a bit wrong, replied the gust 23, when one days notice to strange and serious accldenL On the farmer. Its you that dont under- leave or disarm will be given them. road near Machlas hls team dropped stand It . When the little hand's Tbe arrival at Shanghai of Chinese through tbe logs forming the road for- r la expected. straight np and the big hand's matlon Into & bed of live coals left straight down, It strikes 10, but the a forest fire. One horse was burned by RAIN 8HELL8 UPON ASUNCION. right time's 5 o'clock. Then, he addto death and the other frightfully ed, youve nothing to do but calcuj Three Insurgent Vessels Bombard burned. Creswell himself was painfully late. burned and the wagon completely deCapital of Paraguay, stroyed. The Natural Bird. j Three Insurgent vessels bombarded A most distressing accldenL resultMrs. Charlotte Perkins Gilman was Asuncion, the capital of Paraguay, on in tbe death of a young boy named houseadvocating her ing ex-August 17, for forty minutes. The 1 Uno Blom as the tbe cooking result of a hunting keeping plan, tent of the Is unknown. The expedition of three lads, all under damage 16 and laundering of squads of 100 or more familes Is to be done simul- government artil'ery replied to tbe tn--1 years of age, took piace near Rel Mont. One of the boys fell taneously, In big housekeeping sta- aurgenta and one gun burst, wounding Lodge, hls was and gun discharged, practically several a tions, centrally located, at low cost government soldiers. off the face of young Blom She paused for a moment In her re The ministers of Argentine, Brazil, blowing A special from Cody, Wyo says a marks to advocate marriage and to Italy and France boarded one of th condemn celibacy with a striking figfinanced by Denver and eastcompany Insurgent vessels and held a long and ern ure. capitalists will shortly undertake secret conference, at the end of which the construction of a plant at the falls Who ever saw, she said, an old a truce of twenty-fou- r hours was de- of the government dam bachelor robin, or a young female clared In order to being built on give the women and the Shoshone river. Power will be genbluebird wrho was determined to die children an to the leave opportunity erated for a smelter and will also be an old maid? capital before further bombardmenL transmitted to the mines at KIrwIn. Lewiston hag been growing rapidly Wander-Thirst- . Hungry Strikers Try to Kill Cattle. I know not where the white road runa, under of the development the sllmu-uThe fiercest riot of the stock yards nor what the blue hlllH are. of Its tributary country. It now has But a man can have the Pun for e Strike occurred in Chicago Thursday some 6,000 population, while. Just friend, and for hie guide a star And there' no end of voyaging when eight, when hungry dweller of the across the Snake in the Clarkston setonce the voice Is heard. For the river calls and the road calls, packing house district sought to cap- - tlement. are 3.5no more The people of the latter section are settled and oh! the call of a bird' Yonder the long horizon lies, and there ture and kill eight steers that had es- upon small tracts of fruit land.mainly caped from the yards. The mob numby night and day The old ahlp draw to home again, tbe bered 4,000 persons, and the streets Among the Improvements of the past young ships sail away; were cleared only after 120 policemen And come I may, hut go at Iewiston are the supreme and If year mutt, In five squads bad charged the rioters court men aak von why. building and the Carnegie liYou may put the blame on the atara and on four sides. were fired and brary Another new building Is the the Sun and the white road and th scores of rioters Shota were clubbed. Few opera house, probably the aky! finest In the arrests were made as the police con--, state. It cost $55,000, the money Gerald Gould, In Spectator. being tented themselves with dispersing the furnished by a syndicate of local Inherited Literary Ability. mob. people. Ellis Meredith, one of tbe best In In known political writers Bald Eagle Had Made Systematlo the west, Reign of Terror Georgia. comes very justly by her literary abilRaids Upon Vineyards. The developments In the situation ity. Though born on the Wyoming at Statesboro, Ga., some For months It has been susfollowing the burnfrontier, she la of Huguenot stock. a hawk has been doing of that the on Cato and ing pected Reed negroes One of her ancestors a Josef considerable show no have been Tuesday, damage to the grapes la wrote a killings who satire which waa Saurln, credited to Voltaire and for which roported from the country districts. th vineyards on the Neverslnk moun Voltaire waa sent for fhe first time to Two negroes, a man and a woman, tain, says a Reading, Pa., dispatch. tbe bastlle. werh whipped near Register on Thurs- - Walter Freese suffered the most damday. It is reported also that several age and he decided to keep a watch.' Senator's Nickname. others received lashings at other lo Sunday he shot & large bald eagle Senator Scott of West Virginia likes callUea. Many negroes have left, and to be called Seottie by hls intimate tt la said that a scarcity of labor In which waa In the act of pouncing one of the largest Tines. Tho j the fields la sure to follow as friends. the cot-- upon bird fought furiously when wounded. few picking season la at hand It waa killed and brought to Beading. 1 first-clas- s j J j h g h ' ' men-of-wa- j , 1 ! i I T |