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Show K I. . Vt V. . yj : LAID IT ON TOO THICK. ONE OF THE GALLEONS OF SPAN. rBtraaved Husband Thought Hit Wifa Waa Too Highly Praised. The Maine papers are telling a story of a young minister a ho on his first charge was called upon to preach a funeral sermon' over a woman. It was ' his first funeral sermon and he laid himself out to make an impression, and succeeded. The woman had had her faults, but the minister forgot xthem. This was to be expected, but he extolled her so highly that the poor bereaved husbandr sitting there listening, couldnt recognize her by the description. Finally, in a glowing peroration be pictured God and the archangels and the angels and all the hosts of the redeemed joyously forming a parade to welcome to Heaven this one of the very best of all women." The husband' could stand it no longer, and, leaping up, interrupted him with beckoning hand, gasping out: No, no,, elder; not quite that! She was only bout middlin. Story on Gobd Bill ' Mystery in Dismafricd Hulk Which Has Evidently Laa br Ocsatw lions In the Pacific Ocean. tinder the waters xf San Diego bay, over bytEoyit Loma. Cal., in the To a consid- - COWS CAUSE OF j CUNDRY, that in deep water. Wanted to Sheridan St. Stockton. J 444444444444444444444444 The playwright, Glen MaeDonough, tells a good story on himself, apropos of his first attempt to try to lead a rural life. He and two other friends hired, some years ago, an old farmhouse in New Jersey. They would go out every night one summer, doing all their own work about the house and living on viands which they had brought out from their clubs. After they had been in the country about three weeks it occurred to them that there was one thing necessary to complete the- rural landscape. They had no cow.- - So they went to the nearest town and purchased an animal that was warranted pure Jersey. The cow was installed on the front lawn and became so tame that she slept on the piazza and wandered about everywhere like a good club fellow. One morning in coming out of the house to catch the early train the three men were muclt alarmed at the odd conduct of theft- new purchase. She was in a fierce mood, bellowing and lashing her tail. As McDonough went toward the gate she made one wild 444444444441 4444444444444 L. H. GRAY, 4 LAND AND MINING ATTORNEY. J 4 I Salt Lake City, b'uXT. 4 j4 44444444444444444444444 444444444444444444444444 i4 4 4 4 ! 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 444 44444444444444 444 4 4w Seott-Auerba- ch 44444444444 t M. J. AT LAW. ATTORNEY The finest replication of an Irish in America, says-Hhouse Rooms It Pittsburg Lake Salt City Eagle Block ChrmiK stands in the yard of James R. Mellon, corner of North Ncgley and Rippey streets. East End. It has been erected regardless of cost, and is an exact duplicate of where $ Pierce, Critchlow 4 Barrette F the ancestral home in Ireland, Judge Thomas Mellon, now in his 90th ATTORNEYS AT LAW. year, was born in 1813. It is built of stone, has small light 3oVwV9 ' windows, is thatched, the annex covMcCornick Bldg. ered with Antwerp tile, the house is " covered with vining roses and the building is a veritable thing of beauty. The home in Ireland stood near the banks of Lough Foyle, at Camp Hill Cottage, Lower Castleton, Parish of it was Cuppaugh, County Tyrone, LAWATTORNEYS AT Mellons built grandfather, Judge by X 4 and occupied by the judge's father. 4 MoCornlckto 05Bldg. Sait Lake Lity 44 Andrew Mellon. wh,o came to America in 1818, landing at Baltimore with his large family. It required three weeks to cross the mountains in a Conestoga wagon to Greensburg. J. R. JARVIS, Squire Robert M. Graham, of I.igo12 he t t - 4111 CITY RECORDER 4 Kents Collected, Houses Bought, etc. NOTARY PUBLIC Proof That It 4 I UNIQUE! j ENioYABLEi HEALTHFUL! I 4 I THE SENSE OF HUMOR. Ciw non, Hereof. 4 .j SALT LAKE HOT SPRINGS Sanitarium 1 UJ DATUC flT.MSoutk Sail Lake City Pbm Bathing R4t In h onwfnnw a Cowing ovor ono nsad million tor noron. Half of wntor pnaooa throne tbo pools oneh day, . gal-Ion- Hot Sulphur Both, tn Porcelain and Hu-M- o Tuba. Plunges Xr and Large Swimming Poala P4aa OC fa U OomMaa haalth and pleasure by riaitinc thaao bavha whan In Balt Lata Opan day aqd ntgbt- Is Not Confined to Sex, Age or Condition. fnmoos placed within ranch of nil St the TT a 4 4 m m m m m j The crude humor that makes the small boy want to throw & stone at a silk hat on a man bristling with dignity is not to be disposed of as a mere prank of youth. most in people a spring There is deep 6f unsubduable humor that leaps gleefully when conscious dignity gets a fair tumble. That is why. for all the solemnity of the place, the soberest charity and the best bred propriety in the world could not prevent a titter at little farce that happened In a church in Brooklyn. who were his wife, asl A gentleman offended at something the preacher gaid, gravely rose and stalked toward the door, with their- - heads held high in assertive disdain. The wife followed the husband. Unfortunately, when they were halfway down the aisle, the husband dropped his glove and stooped to pick It Fate, the humorist, determined up. that the wife should keep her bead so ' 4 iN... 4A 4 4 4 General Merchandise, 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 erfio GROCERIES, CANNED GOODS, ETC. 4 4 time. It was in July, and a fearfully hot day. There was no doubt about it. The cow was mad The managing editor of a newspaper, who waa one of the party, made his escape by a window and the back way, and hastened to town to consult a veterinary surgeon. This gentleman consented to go down to the farm for $10 down, and his railroad fare. He arrived, and the besieged man watched the The cow proceedings with Interest. had settled down, but still looked wild. The vet approached. He looked at the cow a few minutes and then went Into the house. Then he sized up the three men for one moment Milk and made the laconic remark, It had never occurred to the her. city men that cows had to be milked, and the animal had been with them three weeks vvjtoinViaylng been relieved, and was jMequentiy in an unhappy state. And this famous first can of milk ccml the trio $12. ACROSS THE 8TREET FROM POSTOFFICE. Street Ma.ii Chicago Inexpensively. t 4 C. F. WARREN, General Agent. 411 DOOLY UTAH. BALT LAKE CITY, BLOCK. 5HM Ugioij J. Pacific iijd 5t. PmiI Ry. THROUGH LINE Gbico, ilwiUKee & The Union Pacific and Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul Sleepers, Tourist Railways are now running first-clas- s Sleepers and Free Reclining Chair Cars through to Chicago. For tickets, sleeping car reservations and further information, apply to i e 4 4 AU travelers do not ride in thn Pullman; many patronize the free reclining X chair car from choice or notions of economy. Such persons have about as pleas ant a journey as those In the sleepers. The "t'anta Fe runs comfortable chair cars on its three Chicago trains, with a com4 petent porter in charge. Complete toilet accessories are provided. To nier, says that he t'an remember when his relatives, the 'lelions, came down the slopes of the Laurel hill into the beautiful Ligouu valley. The family came near setting at Eldersridge, where the father lad been negotiating for a farm, but tad decided to buy near Turtle creek When James R Mellon visited the old home in Ireland a couple of years ago he brought Jome with him the cornerstone of the old house, witli the letteis "A. M. and 1790 carved upon it. and this stone now has a he has built, just place in the hem-over the old fashioned open fireplace. The andirons ami some other relics are also from the old house in Ireland. it is a quaint sight and it touches sentimental c hoi ns to enter the East End house through the ancient style door, the upper half opening separately, to tre ad the stone floor, see the spinning wheel m the corner of the room, the old tinm cupboard, chair and tables and rane in the wide open fire- Stockton. 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 .H. .. Wealthy Pittsburg Man Has a Fine Reproduction in His Yard of the Ancient Family House In Ireland. THOMAS, 4 4 4 4 4 4 ...DEALER LIKE THE OLD HOME IN ERIN. 4444444444444444444444 STOCKTON! MAIN STREET, 4 4 4 4' 4 4 4 4 Salt Lake City, Building. t t t t 444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444 4 4 4 4 4 4 of Animal Who Antics Over Only 44 Be Milked. 4 4 4 4 rush at him and be was forced to 4 4 seek refuge in a tree. She held th 4 rest of the party prisoners for some - LAND ATTORNEY t 4 4 STRANGE BEHAVIOR. Amateur Farmers Much Alarmed 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 of copper. With considerable difficulty they removed erne or two ci the spikes and brought them back i the nty. The spikes ate about six in lies long and plainly forged out b hand. The wreck is a , Barter of much speculation among- Jum who have and there known of its exilt-i.e- e might be an interesting tale in connection with it. The probabilities are, that it is one of the deserted galleons of some old Spanish adventurer of ancient days, which as sunk in the sands and had beea gradually worn away by the action of a centurys tides. San Francisco Call. - yond -- , , Nate Salsbury and Dill When the humorist first engaged tn newspaper work in this city, and took a house on Staten Island, the showman went to dinner with him. Nye exploded some new stories, and Salsbury, turning to his hosts little girl, said; "Very clever papa you've got, my dear. Yes, responded the 4emur little miss, when theres company. RICHARD vicin- dismantled hulk of som- - ancient galleon, which has probably lain theie for generations. As to how it got there and as to whither it belonged to Cabrillo or the fleet of some other explorer can be merely a. matter of surmise, hut its construction indicates that it is of very ancient date., it is said that the Portuguese fishermen have known of its wherealiouts for a long time past, as the.vsail over the water all about Uat section. It remained, howett., for two young men, John Skewes and a companion, one day mently to bring in the first tangible proof of its existence. In some manner they learned of the whereabouts of the old vessel, and there being an exceptionally low tide they started out to investigate it. After some little difficulty they locata Part of the bow of what seemed to have once been a large vessel of very ancient construe tion. As far as they could get out in the water they found some ten feet of the bow, and the rest probably lies be- great friends. t able extent the been planking La been torn off by the tile which have swept over tin .old hjik for many years, leaving bare huge ribs over a foot in diameter, shoxing the vessel to have been a large one. Upon Investigation of tle packing which remained they fortnd U't In the whole construction not a single piece of iron or nails in &r.y form ha i been used by the builders. Most of the planks had been attached bv means of woods still more reen pins, and what markable they found in several spikes ity of the quaunMie station, lies the Nye. Nye were t t4 t4 m M- KH CLAUDE S. WILLIAMS, F. A. MILLER, s', General Passenger Agent 106 W. Chicago Commercial Agent Second South St., Salt Lake c place. high that she did not see her husband stoop. She went sailing on and doubled over him in rotous confusion. The congregate n held its breath and kept its composure. The two recovered themselves ai.d went on. Hoping to escape quickly they turned to what looked like a side door. The husband pulled it open vith afl impressive swing. Before he could close it out tumbled the window pole and a long duster and a step ladder. The congregation could hold its mirth no longer, and man and wife fled to the real exit in undignified haste, amid a general and persuasive Bnicker. Her Philosophy. Miss Pretty Teacher (soon to be lred to married) Of coirse were death of teaching. Im going to stop soon. Why dont you? bliss Prim (wlo Is always talking mhrriage but haa no offers) Id like to. Miss Pretty Teacher Why' dont Youre not consistent you, then? Somethings the matter with your philosophy. What is it, anyway? Miss Prim Kant, principally; THE SCENIC LINE TO Glenwood Springs, Aspen, Leadville, Pueblo, Colorado Springs, Denver, Omaha, Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago, and all points east - Short Lino Connecting al Ogden Union Depot with all Southern Pacific and Oregon Salt Lake City. Line Transcontinental passing directly through The only Trains. 3 SPLENDIDLY EQUIPPED FAST TRAINS DAILY BETWEEN Via Three Separate OGDEN AND and Dletlnct beetle DENVER Ron tee. Through Pullman and Ordinary Sleeping Cars to Denver, Omaha, Kansas City, St. Louis and Chicago without . change; Free reclining chair cars. Personally Conducted Excursions. Dining Cars, service a la Carte on all through trains. , L folders, free illustrated booklets, etc.. Inquire of youf aearest ticket agent, specifying the Klo Grande route, or address 'For rV, A, BENTON, G. A P. D . SALT LAKE CITY t |