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Show i SENTINEL THE STOCKTON , fficA Opposite P. O Bo " Store, Mats t. - Co - Nine. Minutes m M-- MAnAOSR. i It you are In burry married this schedule ougbfr- to prove helpful. There are .always plenty of hints on how to live on $2 a week; how. to catch a husband; how to procure 'a wife; how to make beef stew and clean knives. In the newspapers, but, Fad to sfate, there has been no one to. get up ah official schedule or guide for the use-o- f young people who want to get married. Most men think it takes ail da to tie the knot. It might take' all day or ail year to nntie.it, but It takes just nine minutes, by the watch, to tie it. You might be standing on the corner of Fifth avenue and Smlthfteld street at say 10 oclock in the morning, heart whole and fancy free, and you might return to the same corner In exactly nine minutes with all the the door to 'guide fh trembling Coot uets have said steps of strangers, that all the world lo a lover, but the poets are wrot They should have said that'all th world ridicules a lover. A .man in the vernac-of tbe street, 1. 10 cents and a plugged nlckle. J ts hands seem to. have grown so bat he doubts whether at any time, ither now or in ever be able years to come,' he w to get gloves to lit th.n. Why In the world has he never no; ced in all these years that his hands re In the road? How has he ever managed to earn a I livelihood? In shuffling around trying to make known his wants his feet assume thi proportions of an elephant's tootsies.. That settles it. Theare canal boats pufe and simple. Hells positive that a man with feet likelthat hasnt any right to live, and at this he gets a look at his face li yonder mirror. Red Isnt the color tiat describes It. It is a clear purplish pink and his ejes are protruding Oh, yes, he is sick. He is s a tl s fi e dwj t h t h a t.W b y, he hasn't looked t'i& way since he had scarlet fever!'' (O Yes, he is sick untOjdeath. No well man ever looked like that. And the o) sad part is that hls'pom little wife (p win he left alone m &e world to paddle her own canoe. lias anyone ever (o heard of such a pathetic tale. An- (o other look and ne sees his features 0) working. Why, lie is actually In convulsions and then thje pipe goes out (o and he wakes up. He' has been talk- o) ing to himself. Of (course. If he Is (o marrying q widow he isnt half so o) stupid, for former experiences have Starting. taught her to keep her eye on the (o on your groom and with her help he cares and responsibilities puts in o) shoulders as a married man. Of his "I wills to the satisfaction of Mr. o) course you must needs have provided Brown. Here is a story youll hear in case 0) yourself with the girl, but if w hat men say is anything to judge by, you can you happen to have five minutes to (0 get the girl in less time than it takes spare when you go to get married. 0) to go from the corner and get mar John Smith came In to have the knot ried. Be that as It may, for the fel- tied, and being told that the charge (o low who wants the whole ihlng over was 2 he almost dropped and ex- 0) in a very short space of time there is claimed: (o plenty of opportunity. Ive never paid over li0! Is of Americans The hurry proverThere are no frills on these mar- 0) bial. They are always up and doing riages while you wait. Your ducky o) and never waste more time than is cannnot wear a liberty satin frilled up O) absolutely necessary on any one er- with chiffon, neltlufian she float a 0) rand. Thus you see with the aid of this schedule the busy man of Pittsburg makes an appointment with his future wife. They whisk off to the Lo-g- et - STOCKTON LOCALS. . ' - -- 1 . - . Everything is Republican la this county. Tbe Rep Harrison ia working and hoisting some fine galena ore ia large quantities. There are four out of ten Republicans elected in this county on ike fourth, holdovers. One of them, Atty. Raker, has held the office two years. Our old pioneer camp will yet make ' a showing that Kill set people to ttilok- ing. The mines all around us are giv ing promise of big things io the near future. , There has been some scarlet fever in town and also measles. While the health of the community appears to be fairly good, there has been several deaths recently. In an interview with one of the con tractors on the cut off a reporter learned that fourteen miles of grade north of Leamington ia completed, and by the 15th grading will begin from Silver south. Smith & Watson and Reese Si Cazler Bros, are the contractors on that end of the road and they will be finished up by the first of Jan uary. They have a steam shovel at work in a big cut four miles north of Silver. watered stock, The expression which describes so well tbe expansion of the stock of a company beyond th, value of the property, origlnatdTt ia said, in connection withXb1el Drew who waa once thewCaTthiest and most unique manipulator in Wall street Drew had been a drover In his younger clays, and It waa said of him that be fore selling his cattle In tbe market he would first give them large quantities of salt to make them, thirsty and Ihen provide them with all tbe water they could drink. In this way their weight was greatly increased and the pur-- '' chaser waa buying watered stock. i Ivory-handle- V' TOO ELK ITEMS. A double wedding was held at tbe home of Mrs. Folly Skeltonin this city Albert Snyder .wed y JM lcel,Sk el ton Sarny e Wtikai.,r aDtt MissOlivs Skelton, were married by Mayor Lewis Strasburg. Roth brides are the daughters of Mrs Wednesday evening. ca-Ja- After the double wedding a marriage feast was psrtaken of by the merry guests, and a very pleasant time waa spent until tba midnight chimes. The total vote cast in this city on Tuesday was 402 ont of a registration list of 553. '158 straight Republican, and 135 straight Democratic votes were cast; the rest of the tickete were scratched. Such a slaughter was never known in this city before. The Republican majority In the county runs from 110 on Fralley, recorder, to 379 on Bryan, county commissioner. A few votes may be changed at the final counton Monday, but it will not run far from those figures Transcript. CKANT8VILLE. The Grantsvilie shearing aaaoclalion are putting up a good substantial dipping pen at their shearing corall near tbe six mill spring and Intend to have it completed and ready for operation in about two days. Hampton Worthington, aged 30, and Miss Motile Johnson, age 23, were marked in Salt Lake City on the 30th of October last at the White nouse parlors by Judge Kroeger. The bride, groom gave a wedding dance in the Johnson ball the following day. The bride was dressed in white silk and was admired by every one present; and many was the valuable presents given by relatives and friends. At present they will make their home in Grants-vill- ' An Absurdity. The craze for affixing tablets to historic bouses has now reached the bathetical stage. It la announced that a tablet has been affixed to a house at Soden, near Frankfort, with the following inscription; "la this house , Richard Wagner spent the first night on German soil after his exile of 18G0.W eleven years. August She Is a Climber. Mrs. Fannie Bullock Workman of Worcester, Mass., has broken all climbing records In the Himalayas by making the ascent of Loongma glacier. The feat has astounded the British au-- , thorities, who did their best to dissuade her from the attempt. Mrs. Workman is the wife of William Hunter Workman, traveler and iuthor. . be seen shaking hand& with her and on his way to his office, while she boards a trolley car and makes a call on her new mother to acquaint her with the facts of the case. There is no useless waiting all day for1 a marriage In the evening and no crowding out of a bed on a cold morning, at an unheard-ohour to participate in a morning wedding. You choose a sensible hour and like a sensible mn after consuming nine minutes you return to your office a married man, attend to your days duties, and then in the evening you hunt up Polly at her new mothers, or her own mother's, and you are now In a position to pay a board bill for two Instead or one, as a result of lost from the office that morning. After you have mad several kinds of a fool of yourself at the marriage license office by tripping over your age, nationality and so ono,u npove on to Mr. Brown In the prothdtiotarys office, who was at one time a preacher. If there is anything that Mr. Brown does love it is weddings. He is so fond of then that he is always armed. In his pocket he always carries the little book so indispensable J. e ntne-mlnute- GROCERY CO ii W. LAWRENCE, Manager. 1 Carries a Complete Line of . GROCERIES AND MEATS Main Street, Stockton. The Best and Largest Meat Market in Tooele County. .Fresh Meats'. Always on Hand, and Always a Variety. So'5'o'5',ooo' 3o3o2o 5o The Honerine Confectionery THOS. BEBB, s Proprietor. All Kinds of Delicacies In Confectionery Line. f Stockton. Main Street, Taking a Drink after Going Through the Ordeal, white and a tulle veil that train long hides her blushes. Instead if. as you are, she is hurrying through to get back to work, she will probably wear a blue and white calico wrapper with slippers down at the heel and her hair up in curl papers. She has been too Industrious in putting the house to rights before she met you, and inasmuch as she expects to go back to her work, just as you have gone back to yours, she thjnks it a waste of valuable time to go to the trouble of taking down her bangs and changing her wrapper. the HICKS. o JAMES o o o o o o o o o o VTAII. STOCKTON, matter-of-fac- t A good, sensible, wedding It is. You want no flummery. There are no decorations In the apartment where the marriage ceremony Is performed with great eclat, unless It be a lacy cobweb In a corner and the wedding music is supplied by the musical click of all Ihe makes of typewriters under the skillful fingers of various employes and making various sorts of noises. It may be that yot will spare a min- - 12-1- r hi . e. f feel-ula- M ID d the apnent of the fellow who ties the knot, arnLJn nine minutes he will .Skelton.' . ' - the Time Required for Ceremony 128- - tUs. T. Jakiman. In Pittsburg- 'Happy . - V How Loving Couples Are Quickly AI ie UTAH. Coa sd V- The Marriage a la Iode .UBUSHSO ar THE STOCKTON FUBUSHJNa CO. TOCKTONi J. ute to take a drink )f malted milk or other refreshing beverage after going through the ordeal You have gone and got married in if minutes,. and if that isnt a herculean task then no man ever deserve a drtpk. Pitts- burg Dispatch. I A Man Feels Like Ten Cents and a Plugged Nickel. to functions of this kind. Through some wireless telegraphy the, same Mr. Brown hears murmurings of your applying for a license. lie stands up, down brushes several Imaginary flecks of dust from his coat and grasps the little book tighter than ever. He has the assistance of the urbane usher who is posted at well-fittin- g -- Was There Waiting, Opera. tes Best Local Train Service in the State to all Points. Connections made In Ovden Union Depot with All Trains of Southern Pacino and Oregon Short Line. OFFERS CHOICE OF 3 And Three Distinct Scenic Routes. 3- - FAST THROUGH TRAINS DAILY -Lew in J Sell Leke el 830 su m., 3:15 ,. wnd 8JO m., p. a. A Missouri man a his will asko his widow to streu flowera on the Pullman Palace and grave of his first w fe every Sunday. He waited until he ias beyond reach before he made the equest Denver, Omaha, Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago, Has Had Enoug i of Politics. Gov. Candler of G rgia. whose term of office frton expir s, says he will hereafter stay out o ,il8tlitics, "if the boys will let him. i r! A v Sleeping Cars Ordinary TO " ....WITHOUT CHANSE.... A Perfect Dining Car ccliningChsIrOers. Personally Conducted Excursions. 1U3 West becond (trvlce. Lor Kates, Folders, ete.. Inquired Ticket Office. - South block or Corner, write, Street, Dooly ' jtvjBENTON, Ny I- - rw General Agent Passenger Department, SALT LAKE CITY. . t lEsg- - X |