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Show 2 Page BRIGADUD Oct. 24, 1987: Our man Ashworth stumbles $ks Brent Ferrin Ashworth stumbled down the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court Building and bumped into the Wash-toD.C., meter lady, Sondra By I cage season melts away n. Young. Another basketball season has come and gone. It was There wo- - the tantastic shot of Gayle Illuth in the last seconds the Orem game. There was the slaughter of the AF Cavemen in our last region thriller. Standing out foremost in the season, however, was the fine .sportsmanship displayed by members of the team, coaching staff, and studentbody. True, there were a few hostile moments; but by and large, the team played their best and the studentbody supported their efforts in a very pleasing manner. Congratulations, BY High, on another fine basketball I had been supeanead before the court for indictment hearing on 1.891 counts ranging from subversion to inciting rebellion before Supreme Court Chief Justice Joel B. Murphy, a fellow '67 graduate of B.Y. Academy, who I learned is also part-tim- e currator of a beaver ranch and head photographer for the Improvement an event! ill one insofar as victories are concerned. seasi at Era. Having encountered Joel and Sondra, I began to wonder about the circumstances of the rest of the old class. Being determined in the effort, this is what I have ! Portrait of a patriot . . . found. MitchelhTather of A. IF By far Brent Ashworth e In the subsequent campaign, Mitchell, promoted to brigadier general, used formations of up to 200 planes for mass bombing of enemy targets. Meuse-Ar-gonn- One Sunday morning, not too in the future, air planes of the Japanese Imperial Air Force will launch a surprise attack against the American Navy at port in Pearl Harbor . . . and our nation will be plunged into a second world war wdthout an adequate air force. These were the words of General William Mitchell, delivered at his army courtmartial in De. . cember, 1925 exactly 15 Harbor! Pearl before years "Billy" Mitchell was born on fense and swayed congressional and public opinion to induce the Navy to permit him to carry out bombing tests against old battle- 29. 1879, ships. In July. Nice. in Washington. D.C. He left college to enlist as a private in the infantry at the n outbreak of the War in 1898. served in Cuba, the Billy Philippines and Alaska, and in Spanish-Ameri-ca- he graduated 6. BrjgAdu(o A smear published under the authority of Brigham Young Detention Center inmates. 500 N. University Ave., Provo, Utah. MSP 1965-6- PO Dunk Hu smear 1784 Good Housekeeping 1967 School enrollment-fallin- g 'editor Asst. Feditor rating of the year award. seal of 6 approval. Sen R. Schmid lap. esq. Pres. Brentave Ashworthe News Feditor .... Sylvia Spearsburg. ltd. Feature Feditor Mrs Johnathan Cunningham Tifket Sports Feditor Conradburg Asst Sports Fediti .... Save Soap 48'. Jimski Innski Evaders Lawrence Thirsty Dorf, Neuia Geersanski. Clark Davoriski DJ Exchange Distribution Fediti Gregory Duitup. D. RichartsteinShutterbugs and Poets .... Fork and Associates, V David McCucumber Cartoonist Karm tthe candidate! Ashcan Advisor .... Herr Harry O'Williamstein Credit ( i fighter jet from the Daniel Clark. He left 24 dollars to his wife and wife and wife. Admiral Dan Clark, besides being commander and namesake of an aircraft carrier, is now chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and of the Utah County Chapter of the Royden Britsch Society. Mary Ann Bunker and Susan dancers in Payne are can-caReno. Scott Berryessa is a billion Curtis Johnson is an ostracized mortician and director of Merry Vaults Inc. Dave Rich is a professional student at Berkeley. John Cunningham's wire was recently awarded, posthumously, the Medal of Honor after Cunningham drowned attempting to surf in a rice patty in the Iron Triangle. Nancy accepted it gracefully. Lowell Bennion now drives for Utah Valley Transit. Joe Gee, winner of the Davis Cup, is head Tennis Coach at C.E.U. Lynn Black is a cast" surgeon. P.F.C. Roy-deBritsch was recently shot while trying to escape on foot from a Viet Cong POW Camp. Repentant Tom Chandler is the president of the Utah County Chapter of the John Birch Society. Lynn Sampson is now the International president of the Debaduds with headSymphony quarters at Leavenworth, Kansas. He is also compiler of Sampsons Yearly High School Debate Directory.Mike Young plays Howdy in new the Doody broadway hit Comes Home," or How Howdy Unto Pull a Fewr Strings. Dal Olson married operates a shipping sloop and pastery shop in the South China Sea. Evelyn Harrison is wanted in 12 states for manslaughter . . multi-millionai- super-carrie- r U.S.S. re n vice-preside- nt n world-renowne- clothes designer d and president of Scott's Duds, Inc. Jolayne Dancy has dedicated her life to teaching fifth grade organic chemistry in Scotsbey, Greenland. Terree Lockhart was recently awarded an Oscar for her role in the movie Surf-bab- y on the Rocks, non-speaki- a Go-G- o. Sandra Compton now writes the musical dialogue to commercials for LSD (Liberal Socialist Democrats, Inc.) Russ Maxfield is disc jockey of 17 watt radio station KRUD, Palm Springs, Iowa. He is also a part-tim- e on choreographer for Surf-bab- y the, Rocks, a Go-G- o. . Danny Shaw is sistant president Club at Texas A. 1921. I ; i , v ,v 'e Gayle Bluth, the Mitchell's hopes for recognow plays for the Tjiuana nition and appreciation of the guard, Duerden reads 76ers. future of air power failed to American Greg Science Fiction novels materialize, he became increasover Radio Free Duerden. ingly outspoken in his criticism Conrad Tiechert is unemployed. of the military hierarchy which The Crookston Twins, holders of At would not accept his views. the coveted turquois belt in Karate the expiration of his term as asAAU champs, now sistant chief of air service in and recent rival Judo schools in April. 1925, he .was sent to San operate South North and Dakota, REAntonio, Texas, in the permanSPECTIVELY. ent rank of Colonel. The National Merit Scholar. But this departure from the Joe Andrus, is now a professor of seat of government did not deter driving at Provo Trade Tech. his way of thinking and did not Shelly Melville was the first wosilence his views. He continued man congressman elected from in his efforts for a stronger air Utah's new fourth district comforce. prising the whole of Dagett CounThe dlimax came in Septem- ty. of the loss the when Brent Harmon is the head sales 1925, ber, in Shenandoaah man and mechanic at Holly Auto. Navy derigible to Grow drives a wrecker. Robert storm publicly a inspired Billy Deand War Mark accuse the Navy (the brooser) Harston is o star of Champ- -' f the incompetency, partments almost and criminal negligence, ionship Wrestling. treasonable administration of the Gayle Rogerson, a snow shovel-e- r National Defense. at Zions National Park, also In December, 1925. with the leads safaries down the Amazon. Norm Boshard is the firs fstring words which began this article, center for the Green Bay Packers' Mitchell former General Billy was convicted in an Army court water team and bucket Brigade. Sid Sandberg is president of martial for insubordination. Sentenced to suspension from rank 'the American Communist Party. Hell's Angels." the DuBois Club, and duty for five years, he reFeb- of for Democratic Acas Americans the from Army signed the and a ruary 1, 1926, and devoted to tion. the President's Club, life Russian in the of his remaining years of air Navy. propagating his, gospel Boyd McAfee is the 42nd Presipower. of the United States. Twin dent a In 1946, Congress authorized Steve and Stan Berge- astronauts. of honor special medal irj '. the Father of the son were the recently-chose- n . Billy Mitchell crew of ATHLETO-I- , the mission Billy was American Air Force. which is to organize the first a man of courage, a patriot. He team. Karla lunar life in order to gave his military 42nd first lady. Kundsen is the force. give the U.S. an air 1 up-comi- Vice-Admir- al . cross-countr- y as- the Racket Marilynn commercials for Monson As Army Staff College at Ft. Leavenworth. Kan. He learned to fly during the When the winter of 1915-1United States entered World War I. Mitchell was already in Europe as an observer. By the time Gen. John J. Pershing arrived in France, Mitchell was best informed American aviation the best informed American aviation officer in Europe. Mitchell became the outstanding U.S. Combat air commander of the war. In September, 1918, he commanded an allied air armada consisting of about 1,500 planes, the largest concentration of air This power up to that time. powerful force helped the U.S. 1st Army wipe out St. Mahiel Salient. Sir Glenn Allen Monson was re- cenly named piano tuner of the month in the Playboy Lounge of the Stardust Hotel. Las Vegas. on a Honda. carrier. the from , he commanded bombers service that sank air the former German dreadnaught Ostfriesland" in 214 minutes off the Virginia coast. When air service bombers sank two obsolete U.S. ships in tests off Cape Hatteras in September. 1923, the Navy took the lesson to heart and began to build its aircraft'' around an forces American parents. His France, father. John Lendrum Mitchell, later became U.S. Senator from Wisconsin. Young Billy attended Racine College in Wisconsin and George Washington University in of 1909. . . . . - Gen. Mitchell returned home to Washington after the war to be appointed assistant chief of the air service in 1919. Mitchell challenged the concept that the navy was the first line of de- . December again 1, 1967 67 67 seniors invade the world of tomorrow editorials Hot April of & M. sings Gillete Razor Blade Company. A! Thomson is president of the Utah Barber's Association and the song writer of Mary Mary." Ron Smith now makes 20,000 rubles a year as the feature editor for Pravda, and is also the Italian correspondent to the Goshen Gazette. Kathy Hawkins is a professional B.Y.U. Cougar-ette- . Richard Ericson is an guard for the Boston Celtics with a private waterboy named Butterfield. Linda Rasmussen now pn's on marching demonstrations for the National Schools" Assemblies. She is assisted by Tafta Johnson, Tereasa Rawlings, Laurel Robison, Dor-cuFowers, Vicky Bchn, Lis Christensen, Ruby Kimball, Jeri Lea Elliott, Sue Thompson, and the Honorable James Arnoid Hcltkamp, drum major. The group recently received the Nobel prize. Kay Jacobson has become an instructor of stair climbing at the Disabled Veterans Administration Hospital. Jena Vee Smith is head tester at Murine Eye Wash Company. Steve Peterson plays the lead guitar for the Maxfred Seers" d between acts of his new. Pinochio." T V seyies, now comCameron Lynn Kerry Skull and the edits and piles s top-rate- Cross." t h e yearbook of Alcoholics highly-acclaime- d Anony- mous. McOmber, President McAffees former news secretary. is now the object of a Congressional investigation. It seems that he accidentally dropped his in Lennins tomb, camera U.S.S.R. Loren Duke wras a recent amputee of the Viet Nam war. His head is now being used as third base by the Boston Red Sox. Former U.S. Senator L. Jess Ellis was the pilot of an American helicopter which was accidentally shot down by a Navy Val D. ... ill-fat- ed DeAnn Peterson, alias Rufus the Red." now owns and operates a discotheque in southwest Har- lem. Kris Geertsen's smile is seen on billboards across the country advertising for Scott's Duds, Inc. Mr. Gary Penrod, author of The Making of a Mess." published another book entitled, How to Succeed in Commercial Art without really Trying." The latter won him a prize in graphechoreagopolisgraphy (chalking up a blackboard). His famous painting, White Gink on a Black Blackboard, was recently sent by ship to France in exchange for the statue cf Liberty, which DeGaulle removed unless the ordered United States pay for it (in Gold?) !so large was the number of protesters at the pier that Picasso Penrod was forced into rolling his wheel chair out on the balcony of his poop deck suite to yell to the cheerGet out of ing crowd below. here, all you publicity-seeker- s and fans, get out!" after which he started coughing so violently that he had to be rolled back indoors. I was in the crowd in New York. As I walked back to my hotel on 5th Avenue, I was aced out by a Honda. No-be- ll top-sid- e, |