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Show Friday, December 19, 1947 INQUIRING REPORTER The Question What do you want for Christmas? Kay Dow Five pair a double breated suit, and a Cad-alla- c. B. ABOUT FORDS the cars made in this country there seems to be no other make of car that has quite the reputation the Ford has. An example of a Fords reputation is the story told by one Ford owner. It seems that this man was driving his Ford one day when his car gave a cough, then wheeze, and sopped. Upon examination this Ford owner found that his motor had dropped out a half a mile back. What does this prove? Why it proves that a Ford will run a half mile on reputation Of all Bonnie Harris A panda bear. ..Ernie Lichfield A wire recorder (so I can sleep during school). Julia Johnson Tons and tons of good old Canadian snow. (In alone. Besides having a fine reputaher stocking?) tion Ford is always first in the Homer Black Someone to do latest automobile improvements. my assignments for me. (Prefer- I heard that the latest model of ably blonde.) Ford is going to be equipped with with a magnetic rear axle. Thats so it Nila Brown A dolly will pick up all the parts that , magis skin. Mr. Dixon Six good tackes should happen to drop off. Despite the Fords many adand four good ends. (Football vantages. One of its more serious players that is.) is that you must Ruth Goulding A date I wont disadvantages watch out for squirrels. One Ford a raisin do?) owner left his car in a park over Grant Erickson Peace of mind . night, and when he returned to it (maybe he said a piece of mind.) the next morning he found that Arva Jean Avery A helicopter squirrels had eaten off all the so I can get to England on time. nuts. Another disadvantage of a Bob Jones A red head (Sug- Ford Iis the material that goes intoa one. wont say its built like gestion to Santa. Dont put her in tin can or anything like that, but his stocking. Im sure she looks I will tell you about the farmer better in her own.) in Ohio who got the tin roof out Margie Brown To go back to blown off his chicken coop in a Arizona. tornado. The bent and battered A boss that roof somehow landed on a John Howard freight will give me a six month holiday train and got shipped to Detroit. twice a "year, with pay. Eight days later the farmei re Elaine Leavitt Miniature wind ceived a letter from the Ford shield wipers for my glasses. Company saying that his Ford Jo Anne Price A lolly pop kiss. was beyond repair, and they sugWith sucker afterwards - - - - -- gested he buy a new one (slurp!) Despite all thats said about a Norman Bullock It would fill Ford its still the best volumes and volumes. family car. Its the only car on Percey Pinwhistle A bag of the market that features a hood potato chips, (is that the right for mother, a tank for father, and a rattle for the baby. name?) Im sure Santa will do his best Ford owners seem to possess - - Some of these re- fondness for their cars that own- but ers of other makes lack. An ex- quests ample of this is the three men who were christening their new cars. The first man, a Buick own- er, said, I christen you George Washington .first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of your country men. The secondI man, a Nash owner, said, Eyes John Howard. christen you Abraham Lincoln, Hair Harold Christenson. for the people, by the people and Legs Bob Hales. of the people. The third man, a Dick Boyle. Personality Ford owner, said, I christen you ridPhysique Reed Stolworthy. Teddy Roosevelt, you rough Brains Lyman Durfee. a ing son of gun. Wit Gene Tuttle. and Clothes Marx. HAVE YOU TRIED Smile Fred Johnson. SINGING IT THIS WAY? Talent George Olson. Car Bob Kirkpatrick. Together Dancing Ability Billy Demos. a shirt together, I sewed LaMar Rawlings. Technique was never, shirt A funnier Put them all together we have was gone tail the But, Forrest A. When I put it on . all-arou- nd ?????!'! Oh for a Boy With rage inree Y. U. High School, Provo, Utah The Nite Before Christmas Culture Weve heard it said around B. Y. High that the students dont have any culture. Well, we know better but for the new students Twas the day before Christmas we have decided that we are goand all through the stores, ing to fix it so that the first stateThe people were jammed till ment cannot be true. We are gothey bulged out the doors. ing to tell the story of the opera The sales clerks were flustered Faust. You habe all heard of to do with trying darn many things and their own shopping too. I was walking serenely along through the crowd, When all of a sudden before me there bowed A fat little gent with a dimple so quick I knew in a moment it must be St Nick. He was so chubby and plump and jumping with glee That I laughed right out loud most unmannerly. He wasnt offended, I gratefully saw, But I couldnt resist that big, loud ha, ha. Embarrassed, I started to stifle my glee But a lurch from the crowd put me right on his knee! How romantic, you say; well, I thought so, too, 'Till he pinched at my cheek and said "Cootchy coo. And he tweaked at my ear and told me to say What I wanted old Santa to bring Christmas day. I felt so darn foolish I blshed a bright red, I jumped from his knee and away, then, I sped. As the bells of the Yuletide each year play their song, And the tired Christmas shoppers go trudging along, Ill sit by my fire, spending Christmas indoors, n(j ditch all the crowds in the stores: So i dee-partme- nt Faust faust men, take in war, faust in peace and in the hearts of his country- (oh, well this paper will anything). To begin with, Faust is an old fossil-fac- e with a yen for a classy chassis (dont we all). It seems that he is living in the mountain all by himself with nothing for company but a bunch of becks. Ugh. He keeps dreaming of a beautiful gal who wants to keep him from being lonely. This poor, old geezer finally says that hell sell his soul to the highest bidder. Along comes Mephistophele (the devil to vou) and tells Faust that hell bite. But as always there is a string atached to the bargain. If that old devil is to give Faust his youth back again he wants Fausts services in hell. After much debate Faust decides it will be worth it to have the fun he used to have when he was young. Mephistopheles (lets call him Nick, its a lot easier) takes Faust to a fair where he meets his slick chick called Margie. She is really hep and has everything chasing her including a kid called Siebel. t seems that he has a mad crush on Margie and her brother, Valentine, had left him to take care of her while he is in the army. He was drafted a bit early. Nick, the rat, is going around saying he can tell them when they will die anc later it all comes true. the men gone that he will do for the duration. He brings her a few sparklers and she forces herself to believe that she loves the heel. The curtain goes down where he forces the door of her house open and charges inside. It looks as though Margie is just dumb cluck at heart and the girls all laugh at her because Faust has gone far, far aw.tv. She goes to the church to receive comfort but Nick places a curse on her and she goes feminine on us and faints. Val returns and thinks that his dear sister is praying for him. Nick sings a sera-nato the crestfallen girl and Val rushes out to tell him that Margie needs her beauty sleep and to drop dead. He challenges Faust to a duel and is bumped off with Nicks help. He tells poor Margie to go west and eat bog hay as she is the cause Of all his troubles. Faust and Nick charge off to see Cleopatra which has seen conveniently arranged by Nick. But Faust has what is known as a guilty conscience and de decides to go back to Margie. He finds the old hag in prison, where she is going to lose her head because she killed her baby and Is slightly bats in her belfry. Her mind begins to wander after she sees Faust. He asks her to come with him, but cannot penetrate the haze. Suddenly she sees Nick and loses control completely. She tells him that she knows who they are and it isnt Little Bo Peep. She starts to pray and angels take pity on her so she drops dead and Faust, overcome with emotion, asks to be forgiven so they both lie in the prison yard dead with Nick cussing over the two souls he has lost. When Faust asks Margie if he can take her home she replies in a sweet voice Take a powder 3ut later she relents and jneets lim in the garden where she decides what with the war and all Cats Incorporated COLD FEET Well, here I am again just as sarp as ever. I dont know of anything in Of course, you have all your Christmas shopping done. Gee, this world more uncomfartable you have? Well, then, come help than cold feet! me scratch up mine! Now, there are many different By the way have you noticed milk in the girls gym? I wonder kinds of cold feet and, believe what that represents? No, I was it or not, they all have names! just fooling, B. Y. High is really an uncatty school. Just think only First of all there is the His four girls clawed to death in two Feet Too Big For De Bed type. months. This is the kind that hits you just The neighbors all laughed If anyone is planning to enter a nice, 250 A between the hours of as you are dozing off in together is cause I felt a blast of weather The bed. 2:05 p. m. and 2:55 p. m. then comfortable I could tell at a glance too at are once! change your plans Really, plain enough, either you That my ahirt and my pants in most noisy places cotton works, or the bed is too short. And come Would never quite but when you hear Alma Dawn long is just as plain get Together. shouting Darling, how can I bear the remedy Eyes Marilyn Prestwitch. it? and Gene T. answering Gee, a longer bed, or curl up m a Hair Marilyn Norton. a little girl was There I konw it will be hard but, well, ball like your cat. with tell can you Legs-H- ow wil1 have to And iust 01611 skirts? those long Right in the m dd nf her fore yu Second we have the Along director Robert Hales puts in his Personality Maxine Pine gar. head. is Stop! and con With Me which word Anderson Dawn Alma type. In this case, Figure And when she was good, Youre it wrong. doing tinuing, Brains Joan Shriver. are already cold before She was very, very good, while this is going on, the your feet And Wit Jo Price. was she bad, And when wire recorder comes blasiing, you get into bed and after you Clothes Joan Jensen. was interesting. She Everyone buy a yearbook or Ill get in, they proceed to chill you Smile Phyllis Winkler. while Mr. Lewis from head to ankle (your toes are shoot you. Talent Joanna Hobbs. Thirty days hath September, sarcastic makes remarksunheard The most frequent Car Nancy Browning. No Wonder, April, June, and the uproar. And that ac- already cold!) Dancing Ability Lavon Brown. All the rest have peanut butter above takes of this has already been place above my pur- cause Lois Harrison. Technique Grandma, and she rides tually and the remedy would mentioned Except ring Put them all together we have a bicycle! be to get a piar of bedroom slipHappy day! Just think, a mere Betty Wallace. or fix the leak in your hot week or so and I shall be free pers bottle. water roaming the wide world. Last Next we have the cold feet year I made it clear to Provo high, where have B. Y. Highs that result from a picnic or hike boys been spending their eve- in the snow. You know, the kind Have any of you ever thought what the world will be like in nings? where you look down every now 10 years from now? About the only thing that will have changed and then to make sure your feet The B. Y. band really had is the kids from B. Y. High. I am about to take you on a tripinto treat, Wednesday, Dec. 3, at Mr are still there. This type is called light- Madsens house (that is if you the type Winter Wonderland the bfuture. As we walk down the street, we see a brilliantly over a call ed neon sign Georges and Reeds. This cheery sign hangs from your cat nap and the remedy for this sort of up getting of its cold feet is a hot foot. at 6:30 A. M. a treat). And as prosperous pool parlor which is the pride and joycues. neon Leaving this was writing, the treat was in the its with pool George and Reed especially Then there is the type that which is the office form of listening to beautifu pleasant atmosphere we 'go on to our nextA stop in the midthe down farther little truant officer. of Bob Swenson, the city music. Not that our band doesnt creeps up on you even whose summer. Usually just bedle of block is another tiny office which is the home of Bob Kirk play beautiful music, its just that fore a conference with A. John to old the back we wander As balls. tennis arent being paid quite so or occupation is trig they j just as the teacher starts as the Philharmonic and much campus, we see Bob Hales still trying to finish his college cards. This is conin also the acoustics arent nearly as passing out I report class, and in the stadium we find Merrill Strong keeping I Knew type, Wish yard-da- sh in the hundred called the for S. U. the entry dition because hes nice as those in Carnagie Hall and the best remedy would be a the 58 Olympics. Also a new detail has just arisstill Makin trywe find street the Jimmy quick shot of strychnine. A little farther down has continued en. Most of the Senior clas girls Janie crossbone Spears and skull his pin. to ing hang are getting married. Well, one is Lastly we find the type thather dramatic training and is now a stage hand on Broadway. As we anyway! leaves aphits only (That you at night in a car.(Whethwho is head pin4 boy, pass the bowling alley, we see Lois Harrison, 49 is Who er or not the car has a heater is others) proximately as well as having a 10 per cent interest in the pinball machine. the Camenish. Wyla girl? lucky irrelvent.) This is sort of a mix LaVon and Beverly have at last signed contracts at the Met. If And we at B. Y. High say good ture of Winter Wonderland and usherare them look up; they you are ever in New 4York be sure toForrest I Knew its called My luck. I Wish Allred is now playing respectively. ing in aisles 3 and Done Tole Me. Its alMamma no chance. I will most me, the Now, end for his own professional football team. For the wentpart and its most efobvious is cause where ways be simply senior class turned out just about as expected. They ail is the starter and fective remedy it surely (sincerely) people said they would, especially yours truly and Ima Cat. th gas peddle. gets hot down here. Hart-Schaffn- Now you know the story of Faust so dont let anybody tell you that vou arnt cultured and dont know anything. Just tell them this story and we guarantee that you will have room and board for the rest of your life in the state mental, that is. So long for now until we again bring you (tear up, I should say) another great opera. PEOPLE ed Oh, for a Girl WITH YOU SHOULD LIVE SO LONG and SONGS Paul S. Hut Sut Ralston (Shredded, that is.) Betty and Lyman Makes Perfect." Practice Maxine C. Somke Gets In Your Eyes. Chris and Lavon Feudin, Fussin and Fightin Bob and Yolanda I Cant Get Up the Nerve to Kiss You (Therell be Some Changes Made) Dick B. I Wonder Whos Kissing Her Now Jolene P. Saints Jo Anne P. Foundation Reed S. a Sunbeam Come, Come, Ye How Firm A Jesus Wants Me for Jo Ann B. Must Be Cause Jam Dont Shake Jelly Like That Dale A. Provo High School Aain Cha Ever Nancy B. Cornin Back, Aintcha John H. Missouri Waltz Dick W. Boy I Am a Mormon Peg C. My Mamma Done Told Me When You Were Marilyn B. Sweet Sixteen Pat C. I Was Drunk Last Nite, Dear Mother June C. Temptation Chris. Shell Be Cornin Round the Mountain Lavon B. Ill Always Walk With Bill Forrest A. Must Have Been A Beautiful Baby Beverly W. Joyce W. Too Easy Do I Worry I Mall in Love |