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Show THE UINTAH BASIN FARMER THAT WAS SOME JOKE 9 By GEORGE L. CATTON ( by Short Story Pub. Co.) Fifteen years of working cements a friendship between two old men that Is as to-Tet- sacred as the Monroe Doctrine and as exclusive as a close corporation. Nothing could dissolve that partspecial legisnership orexcept death, Billy Todd. lation, BOB FARRELL and old Tuttle were puls, hud been for fifteen years. When the first long shriek of the Inside Passage boats whistle echoed up to and died away among the hills behind him, old Bob Farrells dreamy eyes left the dim south horizon and traveled back across the bay to fl& camp below him. He cleared his throat hoarsely warnlngly. 'Tve been athlnkln, Jim, he announced whimsically. Over on the other side of the cabin door old Jim Tuttle reached for his knife and tobacco and answered OLD huskily: Sove I, Bob Theres ten ounces In the poke, went old Bob on, an we aint Jim, moren half way through the dump ylt. Old Jlin finished filling the worn old pipe and held It out by the bowl. An some day, he grinned childishly, some day theres goin to be twenty ounces In that poke when one of them there boats comes In." Old Bob accepted the filled pipe. Right, he nodded. And the conversation was ended. And down on the bay The Joker Billy Todd went aboard the Inside Passage boat, chuckling softly to himself. The Joker was going out. Down In Seattle the dance halls and the girls, the pool and the poker tables, the movie and the burlesque theaters were waiting for him ; waiting for him and the fifty thousand dollars that less than a year of pure cheechakos luck had crammed into his pockets. Old Bob Farrell and old Jim Tuttle were pals, had long been pals. The rvh bd Old Jim left Alaska on the sume boat that carried the Joker Billy Todd. It was a good sport," the Intoxicated fancy of a good sport, that paid old Jims passage out. For two duys, while he waited for the Inside Passage boat, the good sport had been scattering his money and He coaxing old Jim to come along. had taken quite a liking to old Jim. But up to the hour of sailing old Jim had refused flatly even to think of It. Then at the last moment the good sport and old Jim were rowed out to the boat both drunk. Nor did the good sport stop with the purchase of old Jims passage out. Handfuls of gold bought other cabins always. Rolls of bills for ralltrlps observation-ca- r paid suites. They left a trail of empty bottles clear down the coast. Then the good sport sobered back to his own natural, dirty self and turned old Jim loose, without a penny, In Los Angeles. And up the coast, In Seattle, another good sport," the Joker Billy Todd was throwing fifty thousand dollars to the vultures, and relating to them the full particulars of his last Alaska joke. Thut was some joke I When old Jim found himself without a cent on the streets of Los Angeles he went to work. The Photoplay company wa s filming an Alaska mining town drama and needed extras. Old Jims long white hair, his garb, his whole appearance just filled their requirements. Three days after old Jim found himself In Los Angeles, he was on the trail again. He was one of the sourdoughs in a photoplay Alaska stampus-sag- es Anglo-America- n pede. Old Jim staggered along the built-u- p trail. He didnt need orders or dire tions for that. Inhls place In the line of costumed stampeders he struggled up the hill and swung to the right. Into the center of the scene. Then he stopped. The director screamed at him. The orders were to keep moving and not to look at the camera. But Death knows nothing about orders or - di- rectors. Old Jim was finished. When he left Alaska, fifteen years of privation and exposure and eternal hopes that never materialized were riding his heart, and the protracted spree that had brought him to Los Angeles finished It. Old Jim died on the trail. Squarely In the center of the scene old Jim stopped. He turned to the out of the line. left and staggered thrown them 4 cThe Kitchen A v 12 1siCSl3 yAARY ,corri6flT St VtVTUN XWMWI Let your task be to render yourself worthy of love, and this even more for your own happiness than -for that of another. Maeterlinck. COWS CHATTER THINQS TO EAT Delicious stews may be made of small pieces of meat If the family is small. Take one pound or less of round steak, cut Into small pieces and add with cold water to cover a or two, cook for two or three hours at a simmering tem perature; the last hour add a few potatoes sliced thin and cook until they are soft. There should be some suet added with the meat to give richness to the stew. Season with salt and pepper, adding water if needed, and serve very hot. Lamb Stew. Cut three pounds of the neck of lamb Into convenient-size- d pieces for serving, brown In three tablespoonfuls of drippings, add two onions cut Into dice, one carrot diced, one sprig of parsley, one small piece yt bay leaf, two cloves, eight peppercorns and salt to taste. Pour over one cupful of boiling water, one cupful of tomatoes ; add six diced potatoes and two cupfuls of peas. Simmer on the back part of the stove for three hours or cook five minutes at the boiling temperature, then place In a firelesi cooker for five hours. Pork Chops and Parsnip Stew. Put six or eight pork chops Into a kettle, add five good-size- d parsnips which have been washed and scraped and cut Into one-inc-h pieces, add five diced potatoes, one chopped onion, salt and pepper to season. Cook slowly for twenty minutes, thicken with flour blended with cold water, cover closely and simmer for three hours on the back of the stove. Hungarian 8tew. Take two pounds of lean shoulder steak, cut into small pieces and marinate with two tablespoonfuls of strong vinegar, two tablespoonfuls of grated onion, one ef suit, ot the Moo, moo, said Mrs, Cow, way some talk about us I e said Mrs. Moo, moo, what do you mean by Cow, SHE HATED TO LOSE Brown-and-Whlt- that? I was thinking,' began Mrs. Cow. I do hope it didnt tire you, said Mrs. Brown-and-WJiI- te Cow. No, said Mrs. Cow, It didnt tire me at all. If It had tired me I would have stopped thinking. e said Mrs. Sensible, Cow. But pray continue. I was thinking, continued Mrs. of the time last spring when Cow, some children passed us one morning. They were evidently having a holiday, but they said: Just think, It is only 10 oclock In the morning and those cows are lying down or sitting down and havent a thing to do. They havent any lessons to study and they havent any examinations coming. They havent any chores to do. They can enjoy scratching their .chins under the fence or resting by the brook or choosing some lovely shade tree under which to lie. And all at 10 oclock In the morning. said another child, Im Still, glad Im not a cow. They dont have such bounding joy as we do and they dont feel all excited and happy over their birthdays or over their school games. continued Mrs. Cow, that "Yes, was the way they were talking. First they envied us because they couldnt take off all the time we could in which to do nothing. Brown-and-Whlt- Then they were glad they werent cows, as they liked to have ' excitements which we miss, such as birthdays and so forth. But I thought to myself that they shouldn't talk about us and about our lhzlness. Maybe we are lazy. But we give milk twice a day and we make their How long do you want to rent one my electric vacuum cleaners? asked Mr. Ilammersteln, the hard- & - i f nuijvKa, itailag it two ilk i'TS' Rastus, who Is dat solvent looking gentleman speculatin up an down de ware dealer. Oh, not for more than five minutes, replied the economical Mrs. I spilled a pound of powSavorley. dered sugar on my kitchen floor and I cant recover all of it with Just a Good Hardbroom and a dustpan, ware. Isles wld de gold obstacle? Dan' yub organize him? No, Ah don organize him. Ahs never been induced by hUn. "Ise franchised yuh don organize him. Hes de most confiscated man in our whole diaphragm. Hes de new pasture at our church. Pelican. Indoor Holdup California Ive got you at last, he cried; move, if you dare, move I Its taken for the Ten Had me many years, but at last Ive got I A South Carolina I dare Now negro sent a meswant where I you you sage to an acqulfl ntance In North Caroyou to movel Yep, youre right, replied his lina, reading: "Sam, I heard you is friend, its the first game of check- dead. If you is, telegram me. If you ers you ever did win from me. aint, send me $10. The recipient, who had about recovTreat Em Square. ered from recent gunshot wounds, wired back: "I is dead. Your ten THE NEXT GENERATION will be applied to a coffin. Ue . Dad and Uncle Miss a Date Johnny (at poultry show) Ma, lets stay until they let the animals out. Mother They dont let them out, dear. Johnny Yes, they do, ma, cause last night I heard pa tell Uncle Bill that they would stick around after the show and pick up some chickens. Art and Oh, daddy, Life Magazine. (motoring) whats that queer animal? It looks like something Ive seen In mynatural SAFER book. history Dad Why bless me. Bobble, If It Isnt a horse Ill slow down a bit so you can get a good look as we pass. Bobble IN JAIL 1 Confettion of Conttant Reader Diplomacy chat leaves me blue And science embitters my life. But Ill read for a column or two When somebody poisons his wife. - ' efwri iewif w -- I WHATS IN A WORD? of tea-sooonf- ul . ...i Tale FdinyGRAHAM BOWER oooooooSoooSSoooooSooooooo ((g), im, Wutira Nwpper Union.) onion- - Little Smi ?dEveiiig Cabinet small Just Daddy's CrJ X hours. Mrs. It. IL. writes. ."Not c- iw H H, 1 I eng 1 1 thj poor '.k i lellQW, ai.JIin-.fi-- . -- - |