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Show LAYTON JOURNAU LAYTON. inruncs By I TAIL T1U'KMVY, Jl K 9, 1949 Jarvis (or Rendered Service i man was relaxing in his club. "Do you think we'll have rain?' he asked the lawyer sitting near) A him. No." said the lawyer. The next day the man received at bill from the lawyer for advice. t Some time later they met again In the club. , "Do you think well have infla- ''STOP cramming- your mouth so - YOU'RE FULL tion?" the man asked the lawyer.j "It looks like it," he replied. The next day the man received! a bill for advice again. He was aol mad he rushed to the club. "Listen," he said to the lawyer.! You're a crook. And remember,! MAKING AN AWFUL Im PERSON OF YOURSELF" ve IN NEXT DOOR YOUVt A FIGHT BEEN NO. AGAIN 1 COMMERCIALS IN FRONT OF STROLLED THE CAMERA FOR A MINUTE OR SO " HAVLNT I BEEN I FIGHTING you. asking Im telling DONE A FEW TELEVISION IIAIl'Y LANDINGS! BACK AND FORTH and BENJy SO not you! FORGOT WAS I MOLTING AND WE.NT By Gluyas Williams My husbands face dropped aj mile when we first visited Grand Canyon." 'Disappointed? "No, he fell over the rim. TUNE-- IN &ZOADCAST Of WORLD SERIES GAME, ANO SETTLES BACK in Ant i pat iqn WIPE REMARKS he OUGHT TO HEAR THIS EDITORIAL AND REAPS IT ALOUD TO HIM WIFE FINISHES Sensitive Fish edit- orial. 'Rattles And CRACKLES PAPP rURNINO PAGES Lady: What lovely salmon! ) Grocer: Thats not salmon; that cod, blushing at the price theyre asking for it. ' Make A Choice t Old Lady (going on train): Which platform for Chicago? Porter: Tura to the left and youll be right. Lady: Dont be Impertinent. Porter:- All right then, lady, .turn to the right and youll be left. - HOW TWO MEN GOT OH BASE AS JUNIOR APPEARS WITH WNDEES WITH BASES TOLL HE STERNLY ORDERS JUNIOR TOPE QPiET HEARS crack of bat AND WAILS FROM JUNlDP, DA TELL ALVIN MADE THE I DONT WANT HIM 70 CHOCOLATE CAKE? THINK OF ME ONLY AS A GLAMOUR GiRL.1 'MOM, MIND IF I I TOO BAD YOU LOST YOUR CATCHERS MASK.. SIGHS AND TlPHS OPF 1 was RADIO BROKEN TOY MUTT AND JEFF By Ed Dodd BACK HOME AGAIN MUTT. WHAT) HAPPENED? WLL OU PLEASE 30 BACK AND srrf spend a week getting tiding TACKLE Qead.you drive three vou wffEDO VEH BECAUSE By Bud Fisher I KISSED ALL THOSE 1 GIRLS AT SIR SIDS RTHDAY k PARTY THAT?rKS.B DAYS GETTING TO A LAKE .. YOU RSW ALL DAY AND NloNT AND come Nome with one LITTLE PISM AND RAISE CAN BECAUSE rriAKESTEW MINUTES BUT rrs customary for BUT THAT WORM KISSED EVERY GIRL IN THE ROOM BUT COOK ME ? V " y-- j "He said Thanks. LffT EVE, ( OH, HECK, THATS NOTHIN 7 ' I ONLY ,tL KISS THE PRETTY ONES TOO 0 lift J ; . Seasonal "You got a pug nose, aint you? said one kid to another. ' "Yeah! And my old mans got ft pug nose and my kid sisters got ft pug nose, too." "Gee, pug noses run in your fan J Uy, dont they? wintertime. In the "Only . W WHO KNOWS? by Clark SUNNYSIDE S. Haas V 0UN6 MARRIED COUPLE IjHtT ft this big-heart- morning," said one lady. "I gave ft bum a dollar." "You gave a bum a dollar? said another. "What did your husband say?" fcYgS (PEOPLE TD KISS PEOPLE AT TWELVE O'CLOCK; ON NEW YEARS Grateful real j, 'J i i wt A v JU Anna: Tm so glad you like it, dear. Mother says chicken galad and strawberry tarts are the4 only things 1 make correctly. Alford: "Which Is this, darling? ' ., Sandy: Smart Trader ' "How much to the . stat- ion? Cabman: "Fifty cents. Sandy: "Does that include the charge for my bags? Cabman: "m take thoae for nothing." Scotchman: "Excellent. Then H I will walk. GRANDMA GRANDMA HAS BEEN 6A8BIN QUITE SPEU. WITH ,TH STREET H-- SWEEPER ytT mw y,'a,d p Matter of Time "How do you spell sense? "Money or brains? By Charles Kuhn SLIP TH FIRST STITCH, PURL 15, KNIT 10, THEN PURL TM NEXT ift an )$ V "I dont know. 1 want to tell myj girl Ive had indigestion sense Fri-; day." TRANSFERRED A burly chief bos-u- nt mate, introducing himself to Ms sob ordinates, boasted, 1 can lick anybody on my force. A sU3 burlier sailor stepped forward and said, "Yon cant lick me. The chief eyed him up and down, then waved him aside with, "You are no longer on my force. |