Show double disappointment one winter there ermeto came t trenton new jersey two men mail named smith and jones who had both of them deigns de igns upon t the legislature jones bad a bad w wife ite and wa ilai dmn in love av he witt with a pretty woman lie he wished to be div divorced arced from the bad wife eo that he might matry marry the pretty worn wom in who by tile the by was a wiil with black eyes yes anil and such a but therefore jones came to trenton for a divorce had a good wife plump as a robin good as an angel and the mother of ten en childley chil I 1 dien dlen I 1 and smith did not want to be divorced but did want to get et a charter for a turnpike or plank road to exten extend I f from com pigs run to terrapin Ter repin hollow well they with these different errands came caffie to trenton aua and addres addressed ed the assembled widd biti with the usual argo argument ment 1st ast suppers mainly composed of oysters 2 with a rich back gr ground 0 und ot ni steak and veal venison soli 2nd and liquors in great plenty from jersey light lightning i ng which is a kinn kind ef lococo tive live at full speed reduced to liquid to newart newark champaign to speak in plain prose jones the divorce man mail gave a champaign supper and smith the turnpike wan man followed wih a a hampa go breakfast break tast last under the mollify mollifying g luene of which the assembled wisdom passed hoth both the divorce and turnpike bills and jones and smith a copy of each bill in their pockets we t rejoin mg aag home ov over at miles of sand sandland sand through the tribulation ot ol mally any stage coaches smith arrived at home in the eveking ev euing and as he sat down in his parlor his pretty wife beside him how pretty she did look and five of her ch children chil dien asleep over head and the other tive ive studying their lessons in the corner of the room smith was indu ced ed to expatiate upon the good result of his its mission to trenton I 1 A turnpike my dear I 1 am one of the directors and he president tt it will set let us up laye lam we can send fend the children to board boarding lg school and live in etyle ou out of the toll here her is the ellar clinn tei pj honey 3 lt let me see it said the pretty wife who be was one 0 of the nicest of f wives with plumpness and goodness dimpling li ig all over her face lot me see it and she leaned over suit smiths t hs shoulder pressing her arm upon his own as she looked at the parchment but all at once smiths visage grew long sm sen cifes vistie grew block smith was nut not pro propane pr olane tane but bat now he ripped out an awful 0 oath at n t h i blast it wi wife fe those infernal scoundrels at tat T trenton ton 11 have a v gone ind divorced ww u it w as too true the parchment tar are h n tit which ell he held wt wi a bill of f divorce in which the rl name me of si smith li lt hand and smiths wife appeared in rightfully frightfully legible lei albl ie letters s mrs smith wiped her cye with the corner of her apron haies a turnpike she said sadly land and with the whole of our ie children naring maring me in the face faint I 1 aint your wile heres heels a R turu turnpike pike bli batt attie the pike and the legislature and 1 well reduced to single blessedness and th the e fact is tant smith I 1 enacted into a st stranger to jh own wife swore awfully although the night was dark and roost most if the denizens of maihs mii mit hs milage had gone to bed smith sinith b bid d hi his is late wife put pitt of on her bonnet ind arm in arm ta aliey ey proceeded cleri cle of their bar buich ich t to 0 the house of tile the clergyman rayman Gio diess bless met the mild good man a 3 life lib saw them enter smith looking like the v vry very ry lat la 1 i of june shade and nintha ni itha i wife wiping her bar eyes with I 1 goodness bles blabs me what s tho of her apron it the cn curlier ner mattera matter I 1 th jhb i matter a atter is I 1 want you yiu to marry us two I 1 right vir off replied smith marry y you u ejaculated the clergyman with expanded I 1 fingers fingerson sn ind d awful eyes are you drunk or crazy 1 I aint crazy and I 1 wish I 1 w was w brank 1 said smith desperately pera p tely the fact is brother goodwin that some soine adrela rep at trenton unbeknown to me and tit at bend of 0 have gone and divorced me from my own wile e die is the mother aelier 0 of nine child children felpi I 1 aen an 13 suggested mrs smith who was crying If heres feres I 1 i a turnpike A ell tile minister seeing the state of the case alie trentin parchment w was 0 july duly produced from the ac pocket ket of tile hie lugubrious smith married them ver over straightway straight way and aou d not take it a deelbe fact is grave its aa he wm wa ii was daine tu to be nione alone so po that he could g give ive vent to a ed laugh which was r shaking haking huan him a all 1 ver iver and smith landsmith and smiths Smith wife home and kiss kissi i every oue one of f their ten children the little never knew anew th lEtI father mid and mother had been at ide strangers tr angers U t each other by legi enactment i I 1 meanwhile and on the selfsame nihl night jones returned ur to bi h native town Burlin gt it I 1 belie believe e and ind 8 sought gb t at buco cc the title fine pair ot of black eyes with aliu 11 lie hoped y v I 1 to call his own I 1 he be pretty wid w sat on the he s sf safi f a white while kerchief ted cameles carelessly AY rubout her bar round white thrust flin vit her black idair laid in silky waves against each ry rory I 1 divorce cheek check ia abe be word 0 cried jones playfully patting her double chib chia the fact is eliza ism im rid ot 0 that cur sed aed woman and you von and ill be ni marries arrie to tn nigh I 1 know how to manage manage those at trenton A champaign supper or wits was it a breakfast break fist did the business tor for them rat pik on your bonnet and lot let us go to the FJ roe ilie widow adow who was As among widows as peaches ore are her boanes and took jones arm among apple ap plea 9 put on and just look how handsome it is put pit on parchment tried cried jones jonea pulling palling out the document defore her heres the law which says tuat jacob jnes and anna caroline carolina jones jonea are two look at it putting her plump gloved hand on bi his shoulder shou lilor she did bok it at it oh tear dear she said aid with her apsy ay bud bad lips and sank back half fainting fain nag on the sofa oh blazes cried joness jones anil and sink beside her rustling brustlin the let lital paroh parchment ment in his hand 1 heres lots of happiness i and champaign gone to ruin min it WAS a hard case instead of f divorced and at ai liberty to in rorry irry tho the widow jacob jones was waa wimp by the legislature of arnew new jersey jerse incorporated fur birned into and wh t made it worse wone authorized tt i t coin liany with his hia arther br ther directors to t construct a turnpike from burlington to bristol when you reflect that bur 1 bignon andar sto ato arc ara locadd just a mile aparton sparton up arton appos tj ti bid ilea as of tile delaware UolA Wire river you will perceive the ex hopeless meas iness of jones case its all the fault facil of that turnpike man mail i who gave ere the champaign supper ot 0 was it a brealie break fisl istl cried jones in any agony I 1 if f a chartered me 0 to o be e a 1 tit kiiru arvi a pike ke from pigs figs run ittin to terrapin hollow I 1 11 h t 1 have 9 lie ine it b but bit it tile the very idea of a tl rupite from P burlington to bristol bears an absurdity on the lace of it so 80 it did and you aint i divorced said eliza a tear rolling rollin g down her cheek nop no thundered jones jonea crushing his hat bat between his hia I 1 knees land anil what is worse the legislature is adjourned d mil and gone home drunks drunk ana wont be buck back tv to trenton til I 1 liast ears it waa a hard case the rhe mitake ha i 1 occurred on the last day of th h when and transcribing clerks were wen beston ee oe ston legislators laboring under the effects of a champaign supper folio followed w breakfast smiths nune had been ed by a champaign put pitt where tones ought lit to h have ave been and wisey isyl y as the latin poet has it |